Still Not Feeling Well...

Still having problems with gas in my body, lots of burping, periods of being lightheaded and some times I feel my heart skipping around but my heart rate is steady.  Go figure!  I will get in to see my cardiologist or my gastro or primary care this week.  I don't think it is my heart because this is happening between meals and when I eat I feel better.

I did have a gain of .4 in spite of me staying within my points.  Mark lost 4.6.  Maybe next week will show a loss.  I hope so.  I tried talking to my leader about Simply Filling but she was of no help.  I asked her how to figure out what foods in the store would fit Simply Filling Guidelines she couldn't answer me.  She told me most everything in the middle of the store would have to be counted.  I told her a friend who does Simply Filling told me Alpine Valley 12 Grain Bread is Simply Filling.  I don't know how it qualifies.  I really don't like my leader.  She must have an issue with me from the last time I attended WW.  My Mike ordeal screwed me more than I realize.  I may just need to find a leader who doesn't know me from Adam.  The thing is this location is closest to my home and she does all the Saturday meetings which is the day we want to attend.  I'll get it figured out or I'll quit and continue doing it on-line.  Maybe.

Well, here is to a new week hoping and praying I don't drop dead and we can figure out what's wrong and praying I will lose this week.

PLEASE KEEP PRAYING FOR ME!!!!!

Not Feeling Well

Yesterday morning I kept having episodes of being dizzy and light-headed.  It wasn't constant and I know my heart was causing it so it made it scary!  I did call and talk to my cardiologist's nurse about all that was going on, my weight gain, going back to WW, using my diuretics more often, wondering if I could be dehydrated or if my potassium is messed up.  I'm hoping the nurse will call today.

I feel better today except I'm burping a lot!  Wondering if the change in the way I'm eating is the cause?

Today I need to run some recipes through the recipe builder and make a grocery list so Mark can help me get us better prepared for next week.  I weighed this morning in my birthday suit and I was 435. I'm not happy.  Last Friday with a long full knit dress, light sweater and my shoes I was 436.2! Figure it out...I know my clothes and shoes weighed a lot.  This is not how I wanted this to be!

Still Here...

Last night when I got ready to write we were having thunderstorms and our lights kept flickering.  I just ended up going to bed.  I had a good day.  I felt weak and hungry.  You know the feelings that come with reducing your calories.  I also felt tired.  I did go back and tracked what I ate Saturday and Sunday and while I did use some of my weekly points I still have 16 remaining.  I got on the scale and no change.  You would think there would be.

Anyway, this morning I'm not feeling too well.  Having bouts of dizziness and I hope and pray it isn't my heart.  I'm burping a lot too!  I think I will go back and lay down for a bit.  I'll post again tonight.

Stay strong!

Stressed...

Day 2 on program. Hungry, bad mood, sleepy, short tempered, sick of this already, don't want to track points, don't want to handle food this much, hate having to enter what I eat on the computer, hate entering food in the data base, hate entering recipes I don't have points for, already tired of figuring things out for Mark!  Men!  I could continue on but I won't drag you through it.  I hope you are having a good day and I don't want to drag you down!

Tomorrow I'm meeting a friend that I met when I went to Downsize Fitness.  It will be good seeing her.  Maybe she can lift my spirits.  She's lost over 98 lbs.  She looks awesome and I'm happy for her.

At least I have 2 days within my points allowance.  I just wish I felt better.  I need to be because I have a Essential Oil Business to build.  I need to be in the right frame of mind to get it off the ground. I've signed up 2 people but one has quit.  The other wants to build a business to supplement her income since Social Security keeps going down.  I want to build one to help us in retirement and to allow Mark to retire in 3 years instead of who knows when.  He's tired of working 12-14 hours a day and having to take care of me! :)

I'm tired and not feeling chipper.  I know it will get better.  I promise I won't quit.  Not yet!

ARG!!! I Want To Quit...FRUSTRATED!!!!!

Today has been a day of frustration and a day I had to be happy and do a lot of smiling between clenched teeth.  Yesterday when I read about Simply Filling the information given by reading the books, no explanation from anyone seemed like easy peasy.  WRONG!  I actually went to bed excited about getting started.

I wanted to count Saturday as Day One since will go to Saturday meetings.  Mark and I were planning breakfast and stuck on how to count bacon was it Simply Filling (SF) or was it going to cost us points.  Couldn't figure it out so I contacted a friend who told me we had to count and how to.  I happened to mention that we had a brisket sandwich with BBQ sauce.  The meat had no fat on it and I thought we would just have to count the bun and sauce and we were done.  Wrong!  I guess it depends on what kind of beef.  That sandwich went all against my weekly points and 9 were going for breakfast so I was screwed!  I decided to let yesterday go and just start today.  Only one day lost.

My friend and I kept talking and she shared some incredible things that has helped her along the way. I could see very plainly not having access to the tools on WW website and the mobile app the program was going to be hard.  I reached out to a couple of FB groups I had joined to inquire how to be able to get them without waiting till next Saturday.  I also contacted a leader I know in North Dakota.  A leader on the FB group and my leader friend were able to give me the information I needed so I was off to get hooked up.

I got everything entered included my credit card information and enter and guess what happened?  I got a flipping error code!  No pass number nothing!!!  I didn't need that added to my stress.  So I call the 1-800 # for Weight Watchers and after 3 calls and many transfers I found out it did take it and they were able to give me my Monthly Pass number.  Then when I finally got into the website the assessment gave me only 69 points instead of the 70 the meeting computer calculated.  I swear I want to quit!

I'm so frustrated in all of this I'm just going to count points and try Simply Filling after I can get it explained and get groceries in this house.  Poor Mark went to Costco for chicken and Salmon and he did laundry and got the house picked up for the maids.  I did not have the heart to hand him a grocery list of things we need for lunches and breakfasts.  I keep telling myself it will get better.

NOTE:  Most of this was written last night but I had trouble with my internet and it would let me post.  I had phone call after phone call today.  I'm tired and will do a combo day tomorrow.

Stay Strong!  I am!  It will get better!

Decision...

I looked over all the materials today and thought and sought myself on this.  Talked with Mark and we have decided to not do the Points side of the program but we are going to do the Simply Filling Technique.  We really think that it will fit our lifestyle better so we will see.  We have groceries to buy tomorrow and some prep work to do.  We also have to get the house ready for the maids.  I was sick most of the afternoon.  Crampy stomach.  Ick!  I know it's because I have been eating too much crap.  Looking forward to tomorrow and Day 1.  Glad the decision has been made!

New Year...New Start!

Where do I start?

I didn't sleep well last night because my heart started beating all kinds of crazy like I was fixing to go into A-Fib.  I woke up sick to my stomach and I got Mark to get up with me.  I had a couple cups of tea and then it was time to get ready to go and join Weight Watchers.  I about freaked out.  I asked myself "What in the world are you thinking?"  I yelled out at Mark "WAIT!", then I grabbed one of my essential oils that helps with emotions and headed for the bedroom.

I sat sniffing my PEACE oil and Mark was telling me to make up my mind.  I applied the oils to my wrists as he reminded me that I could quit anytime but I needed to go and get the materials to the new program.  By then the oils were helping to calm me down.  I got dressed and we headed out the door.

We got signed in and found a chair and the leader was one that I would go to every great once in a while when I needed a break from my former leader.  There weren't very many people there.  There were quite a few people like us who were returning.  The meeting was mostly about the change of direction the company was taking and why.  It was good to hear WW was finally realizing how sugar plays in food values.  I hate sugar!  I've learned it has been the biggest culprit to my life of obesity.  I hope to share what I've learned in the coming days.  Weight Watchers has really done a grand job on this program.  It's a good new beginning for them.  Baby Steps...they are good!

During the explanation of the program I got a little bit miffed.  There really wasn't a lot said.  A few important pages pointed out so I will have to read the book to make sure I don't miss anything.  All fruit and veggies are 0 points on this new program with one exception...If you blend fruits and veggies then they become points.  I have a real issue with this because I love green smoothies and I drink one everyday.  I invested in a Vita-mix blender which does an excellent job taking my kale, spinach, banana, strawberries, flax seed and pineapple and blending it smooth as glass.  All the components of the food is there!  My body does not know the difference between having to chew all of this or drink it.  When I have my smoothie I'm not hungry for 5-6 hours.  If I have a egg and a bowl of oatmeal then I'm hungry in 2 or less.  So...

I had to ask why this is that way.  The leader listened as I explained and said OK then she asked the group "Do you think I need to ask Laura the big question?"  They all said "yes"  Then they said to me "What brought you here?"  Oh my goodness!  Here I am sitting there in all my 436 lb glory with these not so over-weighted women asking me "The question"!  I told them not drinking the smoothies but eating fast food, Mexican food, pizza, cookies, candy and all the bad food that everyone struggles with.  They laughed at me.  I felt dumb and ashamed.  It was the truth.  I start off good then I fall apart.  Yes, it is my choice to eat bad and yes I follow through but I also live with no stamina and a lot of pain at this weight.  I recently had to buy a belt extender for my SUV.  I'm close to being not able to drive.  It is hard to get in that SUV and harder to get in a car!  Yes I accept all responsibility for where I'm at.  All of it but don't you dare make fun of me for reaching out wanting to change and trying to understand why there is a difference when the reality is the calories don't change.  If it is free it needs to stay free.  So...if the rule is I have to put it in the Recipe Builder and count the points then I will!  My biggest concern also was if I eat like I should then I will never use my 70 daily points or touch my 42 weekly!  So then what?  I guess I will have to wait and see. Supposedly with this new program if you have daily points left over and you are not hungry then you are not required to eat them.

So...I've skimmed the books, I will read and plan tomorrow.  I think for the next 2 weeks I will do the Points system but I have a feeling I will be switching to the Simply Filling program.  It just might be a better more comfortable fit for me.