I apologize again, still dealing with these issues but grab a diet soda or cup of coffee and get ready for a long post. I'm getting this finished today so we can move on with my new daily life and challenges.
This paragraph is going to be hard to write, it is extremely embarrassing to me but it needs to be shared so you will know just how far my life went down the tubes and how I ended up in the ER on March 28. I don't know where exactly it started but sometime between November and December. I just got to the point that all I did was get up, throw on a house dress, sometimes the same one for a week, didn't bathe unless I had to and washed my hair only once every 7 to 10 days. I know that is gross but I just didn't feel like I had the energy to do it. Now if I had my Remicade or Dr.'s appointment I would get it done but I was out of breath, exhausted, nearly in tears because I just didn't want to go. I refused to believe it was depression because I would take my meds and yet then sometimes I didn't. I felt lazy. Inside I just wanted to scream because my life had become something that I never dreamed it would. It was easy to stop seeing Anna. I could barely walk from my car to her office. With Kathy she had pissed me off so many times that I had to walk away. By January I was having mostly phone sessions with Dr. Michelle and would only muster up the energy to go see her because I needed to pay her! Mark never said anything to me even though I knew on many days I didn't smell very good. My life was gross. Pure GROSS! My weight broke one of our media chairs and smelled another one up pretty good. We are going to have to replace the furniture. Thank God for understanding friends that accepted talking to me by phone and the Chef and my maids who knew how much I needed them. Most days I couldn't keep my eyes open. One day Mark tried calling me about 6-7 times and couldn't wake me up. He took off from work to come home to check on me thinking that he was going to find me dead but luckily I was in a deep sleep. When I woke up I didn't know what day it was, where was I and why Mark was so upset. Knowing all that I know now I truly believe if he hadn't come home I would have died.
I was just falling asleep all the time and not even knowing it. It was like I was OK and then out! Scary as I look back at it all. I have admit there were times I had to fight sleep driving. Dangerous! So I had a pretty pathetic life going on until the early morning of March 28 when everything came to a head.
I woke up around 3:00 a.m. not feeling the greatest and I came in the media room and just sat trying to figure out what was wrong. I had downloaded a App on my phone that would check your heart rate. My Dad had told me about it and I had been messing around with it. Another that that had been going on for about a month was I could feel my heart beating in my arms and I was feeling like I was having heart palpitations, because when I would recline out in the media chair and had my computer close to my chest the computer would actually move up and down. Weird! Anyway, I decided to see what the phone App would say about my heart. I was shocked to see that m heart rate was at 133 bpm. I thought something was wrong with the App so I downloaded others and they all said the same thing. Some higher and some slightly lower. I really couldn't feel that my heart was racing like that I just wasn't feel very good. Mark got up at 5:00 to feed the cats and I told him what was going on and I told him that I wanted him to take the day off and stay at home with me. He sat down and played with the Apps and they showed his heart rate being in the low 60's. We were stumped. Mark kept asking me what I wanted to do. I didn't know what to do. One one of the Apps it told me that I was in Tachycardia and when I looked it up on the Internet I freaked out. With what my heart was doing I was at a high risk for a heart attack!!! (Note: Now that it has been almost 2 months ago, I believe that was what the App had on it, my memory may be failing me but regardless what I read on the internet said that I could easily have a heart attack and that just freaked me out!)
Of course after Mark got through with his shower and was proceeding to get ready to go to work which was freaking me out more with what was going on with me. I finally told him that I wanted to go to the Emergency Room but that I was going to have to shower and do my hair before we could go. You heard me...I actually got into the shower with my heart at 133 beats per minute and took a shower and washed and dried my hair and packed a bag to go to the hospital! DUMB!
When we got there we told the front desk that my heart rate was 133 bpm and they took me back and Mark stayed to give them our insurance information. They did a EKG and had me sit in a chair and check my blood pressure while they got a wheel chair and they took me immediately to ICU. Once there I was hooked up to all kinds of equipment and a IV line was started but no meds given. The did make me take a aspirin and while I had been showering Mark made a list of all the drugs that I was taking. It didn't take long before they whisked me down the hall for a CT Scan of my lungs and then a chest x-ray. I was told that I had fluid in my lungs and a extremely high level of Co2. Things then shifted from things being wrong with my heart to my lungs. They started me on oxygen immediately. We were down in ICU and they were watching me and calling in Specialists and eventually once they got me stabilized they admitted me and sent me up to my room. Now this was on a Friday so it was slow getting to see my new Dr.'s. I saw the lung specialists first and he told me that he felt that I had severe sleep apnea that wasn't being treated and I was lucky to be alive. He order a C-Pap machine to wear if I wanted to sleep. They started breathing treatments to start clearing my lungs. Things slowly started getting better and my heart rate had started going down.
We were told in ICU that the Cardiologist would be up to see me that afternoon. We waited and waited and he never showed up. The staff kept treating me and checking on me. This hospital was amazing. it was like staying in a 5 Star hotel. My room was huge with flat screen TV, big couch, chairs, huge bathroom and a entry way into the room which was full of cabinets and a computer for the nurses to work at. They had someone come and I ordered what I wanted to eat from a menu in my room. Of course they had me on a cardiac diet so there were some things they would not let me have. The food was awesome. They also had a towel folded into a swan sitting on my bed when I arrived!
The Cardiologist finally showed up late Saturday afternoon. Talk about being a little upset! The Dr. came in and introduced himself and then he placed one of his hands on the armoire in my room and rubbed his chin with his other hand and says "Just what I thought...You are going to die...I don't think that there is anything that I can do for you. What you need is a by-pass surgery but I'm not sure that will help you." We were shocked. He goes on to say that my body (a Semi) was being pulled by a Volkswagen (my heart) and it could only pull it so far. He told me that based on the shape of my lungs they did he wasn't sure how much time I had!" OMG! We were both speechless. I started telling him about my stomach band and how I lived with it for 13 years and all my diet history I tried telling him about working with Eating Disorder Specialists and he interrupted me and said "So how has all this worked for you?" I said "What?" Well this shit-head of a Dr (pardon my french) goes on to say "Well, you may have done these things but where are you today? It doesn't look like they have worked!" I get to a point in these types of conversations that I just shut down. Besides being scared out of mind for the last nearly 36 hours I just couldn't respond and Mark couldn't either. He spews more of his venom our way by telling us that he had a patient like me who had gastric by-pass surgery and it didn't work for him. He lost about 50 lbs and then he stopped losing weight and he died. His wife asked him after his death what had happened and this Dr. says to her "What were you feeding him?" Well come to find out he liked biscuits and gravy and she fixed him and he died. All I could do is lay there with my mind screaming "I'm not that guy!!!!!". Needless to say he told us that he would see if there were anything he could do and get back with us! You read and heard this right. This is what was said and what happened. When that SOB left I just cried and cried and cried. It scared Mark to death. I couldn't talk. I felt as if I was going to die in that hospital and I was never going to come home. Mark begged me not to give up that he needed me. He told me over and over that we would get this through it and he would help me.
The next day (Sunday) the good ol Dr. came by again and he hadn't found anything that he could do but he was still looking. I swear this is what he said to us. He then told us again about the Semi and the Volkswagen. I swear I wanted to find a freaking Volkswagen and tie it around his freaking neck and drown him! He didn't stay long and we were grateful but neither of us said anything to the nurses or anything. We pretty much couldn't believe what was happening. Frankly we didn't know what to do.
I kept having breathing treatments, blood work and things progressing with my lungs. The pulmonary Dr. wanted a sleep study and he told us that he really did thing that my lung problem was untreated asthma and severe sleep apnea. He was pleased how my lungs were clearing up.
Well Monday morning my parents were on their way from Corpus. I wanted them to come because I was scared and I felt like I was seriously ill. I wanted answers as to why my heart was beating at 133 bpm! The nurse came in to take my vitals and give me my meds. The weird thing was most of my meds were stopped. I wasn't sure why but I didn't question things since we were dealing with my lungs and heart. I figured there were reasons why. I knew I would be o.k. As the nurse was finishing up with me the good old Dr. showed up. The nurse had not left my room yet and he turned and asked to to leave the room and shut the door behind her. She was busy typing things into the computer in my room and after a few seconds he raises his voice and says to her "I said to get out of the room and to shut the door!" I was shocked and needless to say I was not real comfortable at this point. She left and this creep does his Volkswagen story and proceeds to say this. "I have not been able to find anything that I can do for you. I guess we are going to have to hope the Pulmonary Dr. can pull a rabbit out of his hat." You read that right! That is what he said! I don't know how I didn't not jump out of my bed and rip this guy limb by limb. He left and I hit my call button for the nurse and she came rushing in and I was yelling and screaming that they had better not let the man in my room again. I told the nurse to find me another cardiologist. I apologized to her for his behavior and told her that I was shocked that she was treated like that but I was sick of him telling me my body was a Semi being pulled by a Volkswagen. She consoled me and told me not to worry that they would not let him back in my room and they would find me another cardiologist. She told me that they have problems with him all the time! I was like...then why does he even have the rights to practice or work here!
The next thing I knew I had a Guest Relations Representative in my room apologizing for what happened and she told me that I had a new Cardiologist Dr. Mazur who would be in to see me. I was relieved. She asked me when I got home and felt better to please send her a email telling her all that happened with this Dr. as they did take these things very seriously and that the CEO would hear about it and their Board of Physicians who own the hospital would take action against this Dr.
My parents got to the hospital in the early afternoon. Dr. Mazur came by and told me that he wanted to get a ultrasound of my heart and to do a nuclear stress test. Well, finally a Dr. who knew how to be a Dr. He also happened to be the Head of Cardiology for the hospital. He assured me that I would be properly taken care of. My parents couldn't believe what had happened that morning but were grateful that Dr. Mazur was taking over. That afternoon they came and did a ultrasound of my heart and Tuesday morning I was scheduled for a nuclear stress test. Boy was I scared to have that done! I was scared to death that I would die from that test after the way my heart had been behaving. Of course as my lungs cleared my heart returned to a normal heart rate.
Tuesday they came and got me for the stress test and I was taking to the nurse while she was starting a new IV and getting me ready for the test. I was telling her all that the creepy Dr. had said and done. Dr. Mazur overheard me tell her the part about he hoped the Pulmonary Dr. could pull a rabbit out of his hat. He was sitting at the computer doing some things and he stopped what he was doing and he turned and asked me "Did he really say that to you?" I told him that he said those exact words to me! Dr. Mazur just shook his head and went back to what he was doing. The stress test was over so fast and all I felt was a pressure in my chest and that was it! They told me that they would come back in a few hours to do a scan of the heart and then they would have to do a second scan the next morning. That scan just about killed me having to lay still for so long holding my hands about my head! But I made it.
Finally on Thursday Dr. Mazur and Dr. Vondala decided I was well enough to go home. Dr. Mazur told me that I passed the stress test with flying colors. He said my heart had been damaged by the years of obesity but it wasn't anything that could not be changed. He confirmed that I didn't have congestive heart failure which was a huge fear for all of us. Dr. Vondala's office ordered a sleep study, ordered oxygen equipment to be delivered to our home and brought us a loaner CPap Machine that we could use till I could have the sleep study done. I left the hospital feeling better than I have felt in many years. I had so much energy!
Well this is part one of the story. It is long and I have to go and get ready for a hair appointment. There is a part 2 to all of this and another trip to the hospital with further problems and another diagnosis. I promise you that I will start writing this tonight and it will not take days or weeks to get it posted. I'm so ready to share my new life and journey with you!
