Another Loss!

I lost 1.6 this week for a whopping big total of 5.6 lbs for the month of January.  THAT SUCKS!!!!!

It is the worse weight loss I have ever had in a month trying to lose this weight.  I'm so frustrated! I'm sick of living in pain and really not living at all!  I can't get around anymore.  My knees, ankles and back are killing me all the time.  I need weight loss so I can start getting around easier.

I did move more this week, apparently not enough but I tried really hard.  I even did a short workout with my hand weights.  This weekend I have really had a lot of pain (more than normal)  I don't get this.  I'm grateful that I will see my Primary Care Physician on Wednesday.  I also get my Remicade on Tuesday and I'm hoping that it will help with the pain level.  We are suppose to have rain on Tuesday but I am going to get Mark to dig out my walker and we go walk what ever distance I can manage without putting myself to bed for days with pain.  I have to drive across town back to back days this week and I hope I can do it.  It is really hard getting in and out of my car with my worse knee!

Pray for me!

I can't quit!

I need a bigger weight loss each week!  I just want 10 lbs a month!

Finally!!!!

I lost 7.6 lbs this week!!!!!!

I'm so happy yet scared to death!  These last 3 weeks have been tough and now comes trusting that my body is ready to release this weight.  Makes me nervous and a bit scared.  I will continue doing what I have been doing and we will see.

One thing I have been doing is eating a lot of butter and avocado to get my points up.  I also have increased my protein.  Fruits and veggies isn't a problem.  I eat  to 2 pieces of fruit a day so I'm not over doing it!

A friend of mine who is a leader in another state contacted WW nutrition department and they agreed that I was eating healthy but they would watch the fats.  They recommended me meet with a nutritionist and I see my Weight Dr. Feb. 3 and I'll go over everything with her when I see her.  I have decided I'm going to quit fretting about hitting those points since I'm always 10-15 points below my target and just concentrate on good nutrition.  I know that the way I'm eating the Dr. has approved of and if my weight loss all of a sudden speeds up and WW doesn't like it I know she will give me the documentation that they will need.  I will continue to weigh. measure and track because as I go down the points and my requirements will change.  Eventually the program will work for me but 71 points is too many!

So...I do have a busy week this week.  Remicade, getting my hair done, meeting a friend for lunch and the maids are coming.  So  I will be moving more.

Let's get this week done!  I want to be successful!!!  Don't you?

Dang Computer!

I can't believe I haven't posted since Sunday!  Terrible!  It sure wasn't my intention but my power cord on my Surface Pro 3 died.  It wasn't even 2 years old!  Luckily Best Buy is covering it under my protection plan and it's on the way to me by the Pony Express!

Monday I saw my Rheumatologist and she is going to let me extend my Remicade treatments out to 6 weeks!  I am happy dancing!  I asked her if I could ever get off of this treatment.  I told her that I was learning a lot about gut health and I was trying not to eat foods that cause inflammation. She told me that she believed I could in time.  She told me about one of her patients that had crohn's so bad she was in the hospital getting blood transfusions.  They put her on Remicade and now she has been in remission and off Remicade for 4 years.  Oh I want to get there!

Tuesday I had lunch with Karen and actually did a little walking.  I proved to myself that I can walk further than I thought so I have been trying to walk more.  We'll see if it will cause this weight to move this week!

Yesterday I had to have a day of recovery because my right foot was giving me grief along with my back.  My back has not been the same since I had to stand in line for an hour and a half for tamales at Christmas!

Today I'm washing and cleaning some.  I do plan to work out with my hand weights today!

Stay good!

Haven't Felt Well

I know I haven't posted in a few days.  The last time I wrote I was drinking a gallon of water a day and on Friday I was so sick and miserable I really thought my body was going to explode.  I ended up taking a fluid pill and I'm telling you I lived in the bathroom!

I weighed Saturday morning and I was still retaining fluid so I knew I was going to have another gain and I did.  I gained 3.6 lbs.  I didn't let it bother me because I knew I was still holding water.

I did get my big rump out of the car on Saturday and shopped at Sprouts and I made it!  It flt good emotionally but boy did it hurt my body.  I will keep going and pushing myself!

Today we cooked some and I would have liked to gotten more done but Mark wasn't feeling well so it was an unusual day.  I'm tired and the week is just starting.  I see Dr. Perez in the morning and then Anna Tuesday.  Lunch with Karen on Tuesday and Lunch with Maya on Wednesday.  I'm going to have to be careful with my choices and with the sodium.  Wish me luck!

Till tomorrow!

Better Day!

Today has been a better day not a teary or depressed but I am feeling sad and confused as to why this body of mine is not losing weight.  Baffled BIG TIME!  My friend Doreen has been sending little quotes each morning and has been a big support.  Karen has been also.  You can't go this journey alone.  It's not fun.

I've gotten 7 bottles of water down thus far and I'm sure I will get the last one down this evening.  If I remember correctly when I did this with Banks about the 3 or 4th day my body purged it self and 13 lbs fell off.  I need that to turn these feelings around.

I also know I need to move and to exercise.  Today my doTerra order came and the UPS driver was kind enough to call me on my phone because our gate was shut.  That was so kind of him.  When I walked out to get it I got so winded I didn't think I was going to catch my breath.  I've got to start moving.  I need more energy!

Speaking of doTerra my up-line sent me a interesting article this afternoon.  The buzz is lemon water detoxes the liver, and will help with fluid retention, crank up the metabolism and a host of other things.  The bad side of drinking warm lemon water first thing in the morning is it is bad for your teeth.  It will eat the enamel off your teeth.  This article stated that lemon essential oil will do everything but will not damage your teeth because the lemon oil comes from the peels and they are not acidic but will give the same benefit. Interesting! I must also add that you need to make sure the essential oil is Certified Pure Therapeutic Grade, if it is not it isn't safe to ingest!

Here is the link if you are interested in reading:

http://www.davidwolfe.com/lemon-essential-oil-in-morning/

If you are interested in learning more about essential oils and how they support your health please contact me by leaving a comment below.

Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers.  This has to start working.  I don't want to die!  I want to live and I know I won't live long at 436.6 lbs.  Thanks!

What's Happening...

I know it has been a few days since I posted.  I had a great day yesterday.  I actually got some things done.  I felt good and Karen surprised me with a visit.  We went and split a lunch at Cheddar's and had a good time.  Mark cooked a delicious Salmon dinner with baked sweet potato and some early green peas.  I also had some 72% cacao.  Love that stuff.  You have to eat it slowly or it is very bitter. I only had a little flutter in my heart yesterday.  I really think the Ezekiel Bread is the culprit and now I'm scared to eat a whole grain bread!

Today I woke up feeling a little tired and I weighed and I shouldn't have.  Another week of no weight loss.  It sent me down the tubes.  I've fought tears all day long.  I haven't wanted to eat but I've made myself.  I'd like to get into bed and pull the covers over my head and cry like a baby.  WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME????????

As of 5 p.m. today I've downed 6 - 16.9 ounces of bottled water and I will get 2 more down to make it a gallon.  And yes I got on the scale this afternoon and yes it was up more and yes I just want to die!!!!! I DO NOT WANT TO WEIGH 436.6 LBS!!!!!

OH GOD HELP ME!!!!!!

Still Not Feeling Well...

Still having problems with gas in my body, lots of burping, periods of being lightheaded and some times I feel my heart skipping around but my heart rate is steady.  Go figure!  I will get in to see my cardiologist or my gastro or primary care this week.  I don't think it is my heart because this is happening between meals and when I eat I feel better.

I did have a gain of .4 in spite of me staying within my points.  Mark lost 4.6.  Maybe next week will show a loss.  I hope so.  I tried talking to my leader about Simply Filling but she was of no help.  I asked her how to figure out what foods in the store would fit Simply Filling Guidelines she couldn't answer me.  She told me most everything in the middle of the store would have to be counted.  I told her a friend who does Simply Filling told me Alpine Valley 12 Grain Bread is Simply Filling.  I don't know how it qualifies.  I really don't like my leader.  She must have an issue with me from the last time I attended WW.  My Mike ordeal screwed me more than I realize.  I may just need to find a leader who doesn't know me from Adam.  The thing is this location is closest to my home and she does all the Saturday meetings which is the day we want to attend.  I'll get it figured out or I'll quit and continue doing it on-line.  Maybe.

Well, here is to a new week hoping and praying I don't drop dead and we can figure out what's wrong and praying I will lose this week.

PLEASE KEEP PRAYING FOR ME!!!!!

Not Feeling Well

Yesterday morning I kept having episodes of being dizzy and light-headed.  It wasn't constant and I know my heart was causing it so it made it scary!  I did call and talk to my cardiologist's nurse about all that was going on, my weight gain, going back to WW, using my diuretics more often, wondering if I could be dehydrated or if my potassium is messed up.  I'm hoping the nurse will call today.

I feel better today except I'm burping a lot!  Wondering if the change in the way I'm eating is the cause?

Today I need to run some recipes through the recipe builder and make a grocery list so Mark can help me get us better prepared for next week.  I weighed this morning in my birthday suit and I was 435. I'm not happy.  Last Friday with a long full knit dress, light sweater and my shoes I was 436.2! Figure it out...I know my clothes and shoes weighed a lot.  This is not how I wanted this to be!

Still Here...

Last night when I got ready to write we were having thunderstorms and our lights kept flickering.  I just ended up going to bed.  I had a good day.  I felt weak and hungry.  You know the feelings that come with reducing your calories.  I also felt tired.  I did go back and tracked what I ate Saturday and Sunday and while I did use some of my weekly points I still have 16 remaining.  I got on the scale and no change.  You would think there would be.

Anyway, this morning I'm not feeling too well.  Having bouts of dizziness and I hope and pray it isn't my heart.  I'm burping a lot too!  I think I will go back and lay down for a bit.  I'll post again tonight.

Stay strong!

Stressed...

Day 2 on program. Hungry, bad mood, sleepy, short tempered, sick of this already, don't want to track points, don't want to handle food this much, hate having to enter what I eat on the computer, hate entering food in the data base, hate entering recipes I don't have points for, already tired of figuring things out for Mark!  Men!  I could continue on but I won't drag you through it.  I hope you are having a good day and I don't want to drag you down!

Tomorrow I'm meeting a friend that I met when I went to Downsize Fitness.  It will be good seeing her.  Maybe she can lift my spirits.  She's lost over 98 lbs.  She looks awesome and I'm happy for her.

At least I have 2 days within my points allowance.  I just wish I felt better.  I need to be because I have a Essential Oil Business to build.  I need to be in the right frame of mind to get it off the ground. I've signed up 2 people but one has quit.  The other wants to build a business to supplement her income since Social Security keeps going down.  I want to build one to help us in retirement and to allow Mark to retire in 3 years instead of who knows when.  He's tired of working 12-14 hours a day and having to take care of me! :)

I'm tired and not feeling chipper.  I know it will get better.  I promise I won't quit.  Not yet!

ARG!!! I Want To Quit...FRUSTRATED!!!!!

Today has been a day of frustration and a day I had to be happy and do a lot of smiling between clenched teeth.  Yesterday when I read about Simply Filling the information given by reading the books, no explanation from anyone seemed like easy peasy.  WRONG!  I actually went to bed excited about getting started.

I wanted to count Saturday as Day One since will go to Saturday meetings.  Mark and I were planning breakfast and stuck on how to count bacon was it Simply Filling (SF) or was it going to cost us points.  Couldn't figure it out so I contacted a friend who told me we had to count and how to.  I happened to mention that we had a brisket sandwich with BBQ sauce.  The meat had no fat on it and I thought we would just have to count the bun and sauce and we were done.  Wrong!  I guess it depends on what kind of beef.  That sandwich went all against my weekly points and 9 were going for breakfast so I was screwed!  I decided to let yesterday go and just start today.  Only one day lost.

My friend and I kept talking and she shared some incredible things that has helped her along the way. I could see very plainly not having access to the tools on WW website and the mobile app the program was going to be hard.  I reached out to a couple of FB groups I had joined to inquire how to be able to get them without waiting till next Saturday.  I also contacted a leader I know in North Dakota.  A leader on the FB group and my leader friend were able to give me the information I needed so I was off to get hooked up.

I got everything entered included my credit card information and enter and guess what happened?  I got a flipping error code!  No pass number nothing!!!  I didn't need that added to my stress.  So I call the 1-800 # for Weight Watchers and after 3 calls and many transfers I found out it did take it and they were able to give me my Monthly Pass number.  Then when I finally got into the website the assessment gave me only 69 points instead of the 70 the meeting computer calculated.  I swear I want to quit!

I'm so frustrated in all of this I'm just going to count points and try Simply Filling after I can get it explained and get groceries in this house.  Poor Mark went to Costco for chicken and Salmon and he did laundry and got the house picked up for the maids.  I did not have the heart to hand him a grocery list of things we need for lunches and breakfasts.  I keep telling myself it will get better.

NOTE:  Most of this was written last night but I had trouble with my internet and it would let me post.  I had phone call after phone call today.  I'm tired and will do a combo day tomorrow.

Stay Strong!  I am!  It will get better!

Decision...

I looked over all the materials today and thought and sought myself on this.  Talked with Mark and we have decided to not do the Points side of the program but we are going to do the Simply Filling Technique.  We really think that it will fit our lifestyle better so we will see.  We have groceries to buy tomorrow and some prep work to do.  We also have to get the house ready for the maids.  I was sick most of the afternoon.  Crampy stomach.  Ick!  I know it's because I have been eating too much crap.  Looking forward to tomorrow and Day 1.  Glad the decision has been made!

New Year...New Start!

Where do I start?

I didn't sleep well last night because my heart started beating all kinds of crazy like I was fixing to go into A-Fib.  I woke up sick to my stomach and I got Mark to get up with me.  I had a couple cups of tea and then it was time to get ready to go and join Weight Watchers.  I about freaked out.  I asked myself "What in the world are you thinking?"  I yelled out at Mark "WAIT!", then I grabbed one of my essential oils that helps with emotions and headed for the bedroom.

I sat sniffing my PEACE oil and Mark was telling me to make up my mind.  I applied the oils to my wrists as he reminded me that I could quit anytime but I needed to go and get the materials to the new program.  By then the oils were helping to calm me down.  I got dressed and we headed out the door.

We got signed in and found a chair and the leader was one that I would go to every great once in a while when I needed a break from my former leader.  There weren't very many people there.  There were quite a few people like us who were returning.  The meeting was mostly about the change of direction the company was taking and why.  It was good to hear WW was finally realizing how sugar plays in food values.  I hate sugar!  I've learned it has been the biggest culprit to my life of obesity.  I hope to share what I've learned in the coming days.  Weight Watchers has really done a grand job on this program.  It's a good new beginning for them.  Baby Steps...they are good!

During the explanation of the program I got a little bit miffed.  There really wasn't a lot said.  A few important pages pointed out so I will have to read the book to make sure I don't miss anything.  All fruit and veggies are 0 points on this new program with one exception...If you blend fruits and veggies then they become points.  I have a real issue with this because I love green smoothies and I drink one everyday.  I invested in a Vita-mix blender which does an excellent job taking my kale, spinach, banana, strawberries, flax seed and pineapple and blending it smooth as glass.  All the components of the food is there!  My body does not know the difference between having to chew all of this or drink it.  When I have my smoothie I'm not hungry for 5-6 hours.  If I have a egg and a bowl of oatmeal then I'm hungry in 2 or less.  So...

I had to ask why this is that way.  The leader listened as I explained and said OK then she asked the group "Do you think I need to ask Laura the big question?"  They all said "yes"  Then they said to me "What brought you here?"  Oh my goodness!  Here I am sitting there in all my 436 lb glory with these not so over-weighted women asking me "The question"!  I told them not drinking the smoothies but eating fast food, Mexican food, pizza, cookies, candy and all the bad food that everyone struggles with.  They laughed at me.  I felt dumb and ashamed.  It was the truth.  I start off good then I fall apart.  Yes, it is my choice to eat bad and yes I follow through but I also live with no stamina and a lot of pain at this weight.  I recently had to buy a belt extender for my SUV.  I'm close to being not able to drive.  It is hard to get in that SUV and harder to get in a car!  Yes I accept all responsibility for where I'm at.  All of it but don't you dare make fun of me for reaching out wanting to change and trying to understand why there is a difference when the reality is the calories don't change.  If it is free it needs to stay free.  So...if the rule is I have to put it in the Recipe Builder and count the points then I will!  My biggest concern also was if I eat like I should then I will never use my 70 daily points or touch my 42 weekly!  So then what?  I guess I will have to wait and see. Supposedly with this new program if you have daily points left over and you are not hungry then you are not required to eat them.

So...I've skimmed the books, I will read and plan tomorrow.  I think for the next 2 weeks I will do the Points system but I have a feeling I will be switching to the Simply Filling program.  It just might be a better more comfortable fit for me.