Amost A Month!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!!

I have been real self-centered!  My apologies!

I've just been caught up getting my life back!  I have lost 35.7 lbs since Oct 20!  That is as of this past Sunday!  362.0!  I'm really on my way.  It sure beats 427 lbs in April when I had the crap scared out of me!

When I hit 100 lbs. I will be receiving a trip to Salt Lake to meet Michael, his colleagues and my friend Janet.  I can't wait for that!

I tried writing a few days ago and upload a video that Michael had me do.  He had me do another one this past Sunday.  I tried everything I could to get them posted here but they would not go!  I you are on Facebook then search for Body By Banks and you will be able to see my progress.

I will be back blogging every single day January 1.  I am also going to have the blog art work changed.  Things have been on the back burner.

Some news is:

I quit Downsize Fitness.  Yes, you read that right.  I'll tell you more next year.

I'm loving what I'm doing!

I LOVE the way I feel!

I'm ready to stop seeing Anna except when I really need her!

I'm off my anti-depressants and....

My heart medicine has been reduced and there's a possibility I don't have A-Fib!!!!!



Lots to talk about that I have learned.  I have to share!

So.....

Merry Christmas to you and yours!  Of course Happy New Years too!

I'll have a post up on January 1!  I'd love for you to share the journey back to life with me!

Happy Thanksgiving!

I'm ok.  Still doing my program.  Little emotional over some family issues but handling them well.  I'll be back next week.  Re-doing the blog.  Taking a different approach to the blog.  Feel like taking it back to what it was during the "My Going To Goal" days.  I need to be recording and sharing the victories.  I don't want to forget any part of this journey.  It's amazing!

Happy Thanksgiving to you and your's!

Love you!

Laura

On TV!!!!!

Here is my gym!  And Me!!!!!

DOWNSIZE FITNESS

Catch Up!

This has been the wildest almost 3 weeks of my life in a long time!  I know there is no way that I am going to be able to catch you all up with every detail but I think you'll see the huge change that has happened.  My mentor Janet and Michael Banks have encouraged me to journal this journey so that is what I'm going to do,  I've just have to figure a way to fit it in my crazy exhausting schedule.  It will get better as I get stronger!

I'm sorry that I didn't get back out here as I planned.  I really don't know where to start to summarize all of this but I'm going to try.  So bear with me.

So, I truly believe that God sent Michael Banks into my life.  Interesting this all happened after I made the decision to get WW Mike totally out of my life.  Period end of subject.  There are things about him that I don't want to discuss.  I will say this.  It took me a long time to realize that he was a control freak, thought he owned me, tried to ruin my marriage, knew everything and was always right.  I thank God that I walked away from that very abusive friendship.  I was an idiot but I learned from it all.  That is the end of Mike the WW freak!

Michael Banks is so different.  He is truly a man of God.  He truly believes that this transformation will not happen with out Him.  Not only is Michael going to change me physically and mentally but he is going to transform and restore my spiritual life.  I've wanted this since I got out of the cult in 2002.  I guess God had to let me go on this almost 12 year journey to learn a lot about myself and about transforming my body.  It all starts in my mind.  I have to believe I can do this.  I have to love myself enough to do this.  I have to trust God to help me do this!  I'm ready.

My first assignment from Michael was to drink a gallon of water a day.  Right!  That is what I thought.  We are talking about a person who lived on 2 different types of fluid pills.  Of course I must inject here that WW Mike bugged me so much about fluid retention that I talked the Dr. in giving me more.  WRONG!  Anyway,  I truly didn't think that I could do it.  His assignment was to drink half the bottle by 2 p.m. and to finish it by 7 p.m.  The first day I did it.  I was amazed but I also lived in the bathroom.  I felt awful but I did it.  The other assignment was to get a book by John C. Maxwell called Failing Forward and to read it.  I'm in the process of doing that now.  All this water is sued to not only keep my body properly hydrated but to also cleanse my body.  Guys, there is truth in all of this.  I called it bullshit for years but after hitting rock bottom I thought I would try it I will never ever stop drinking my gallon of water a day.  I now crave it and I thirst for it.  One other thing the water is to be room temperature and not cold.  Also coffee, green tea and smoothies are extra and they don't go against your water.  I have yet been able to drink more.  Now a lot of it is because I don't have time. I could drink the extra fluid but I'm so busy everyday.  More so in a long time.  This transformation requires a lot of work.  It is worth it!

Michael left my mentor Janet to work with me on the Food Plan, however he has taken more things away from me.  They gave me what he calls an Essential List and that contains what I'm allowed to eat.  This is it in a nutshell:

No Diary - this includes butter, yogurt, sour cream, all cheese etc.

The only diary that I can have is coconut milk, creamer and butter.

No nuts

I can have all veggies with the exception of carrots, broccoli, any white potatoes.  No iceberg lettuce but lettuce that actually has a nutritional value I can have.

I can have sweet potatoes.  All that I want.

The only fruit allowed is blueberries and avocado.  I can enjoy as many avocados as I desire.

All meats.  (beef, chicken, turkey, pork, fish, shrimp etc.)  No ham and no bacon.
I can have 3 slices of turkey bacon a week

egg whites.  I can have 1 egg yoke a day.

No grains.  So no bread, oatmeal, pasta, rice etc.  The only grain I'm allowed is Quinoa which once I learned how to properly prepare it I love it!!!!

No diet drinks and no artificial sweeteners whatsoever!  I can only use pure Stevia.

I can have pinto beans, black beans, white beans and garbanzo beans.  Fresh or in a can.  I just have to rinse them and heat them using chicken broth and seasonings.

So...You can see I am eating very clean.  It is very limited the first 45 days.  Things will slowly come back.  I'm told that dairy and grains will not.

So, this is a TOTAL lifestyle change!  I can't even cook like I use to.  I'm having to learn all over again.  Janet is a genius at this.  She is helping me so much.  I will start sharing things with you.  I can say that I have had no cravings and I am never hungry.  It is amazing what being hydrated and eating whole foods does to your body.  Food has been killing me.  I am so totally convinced.

So, I started this hardly being able to stand.  I have been cooking 3 meals a day!  My knees are handling it ok but my right foot is not!  By the end of the day I can't walk without a walker.  I just keep telling myself that it will get better each time the scale moves.

I have more energy than I know what to do with.  My energy level is that I could run and do all day long.  I don't take naps, I sleep like a baby.  My body is keeping me from doing more!  THIS IS AN AMAZING JOURNEY!

I'm going to close today with what has happened in regards to weight loss in the last 3 weeks.  I started at 397.6 lbs.  Today I weighed 378.4 lbs.  That is 19.2 lbs in 3 weeks.  3 WEEKS!  And... I have not taken one fluid pill!!!!!

Am I jazzed?  You bet I am!  Michael says I will be down 25 lbs by Thanksgiving.  I think that he had better change my goal.  He said by January 1 I will not believe where I'll be.  Janet says that she thinks by the end of Spring I will be in the low 300's.  Ready to follow me and see?

Keep coming back!

Sick!

It has been crazing learning a bunch of new things.  This afternoon I started having chills and I feel like a have a lump in my throat at the base of my throat and my extreme upper chest hurts when I cough. Some discomfort when I swallow.  Started having bad chills this afternoon.  Luckily I got an appt. in the morning with my Dr.  I did lose 12.5 lbs my first week!  I will catch you ll up as soon as I am back on my feet!

Blown Away! TOTALLY!

This has been a totally exhausting day.  I wanted to write and write and write about this but I feel so bad at the minute I'm going to have to do this a different way!  On to my news:

Watch this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mCTmvYBRYHQ&list=UUBemY16TD6bV-iz75E4dTuw&index=9

I hope the link works if it does not, please copy it into your browser and watch.  Then come back and read.

Impressed?

What would you say if I told you this man called me last Tuesday afternoon and I was dead asleep and thought it was a sales call because my cell showed the call coming from Utah!  What made me answer it was I thought it might be a call from our insurance company.  I'm glad I answered it.  The voice on the other end told me that he was going to change my life!  I just listened thinking "yea right!".  He was sitting in a friend of mine office from Facebook.  We talked...I accepted his help...(remember I was half asleep)...He told me that he would be in touch.

I sent my friend a personal message and asked her if what I thought happened really did!  I told her I was feeling like Chris Powell called and said "I choose you".  She goes on to tell me that he did chose me.  They were discussing some emails that we had shared when he looked at her and told her.  I have to talk to her now!  Do you have her number?

My friend told me that he was going to send me a package of things to help me.  It's on it's way.  So we have been talking, my friend and I.  Saturday I received a personal video message!  I want you to see it.  I can't figure out how to get it out here to the blog.  I'll have to save it and post as soon as I can figure it out.

Today was Day 1.  My body is detoxing and I feel bad which is normal.  I must go to bed.

More tomorrow!

Forgive Me!

Oops!

Took a fluid pill this morning and spent the day running to...Guess where?  You got it!

Lots happened today...

So much to tell!  And...

As soon as I get my car put into the shop and work out at the gym I will be sharing!  It will be a very long post!  So get ready!

Hard Week/Exciting Week!

This has been a emotional roller coaster week!  OMG!  So much to write about.  Not sure where to begin.  Here is a picture of our last dinner with Tabitha at Perry's Steak House just after her graduation from UTI Technical College.  She is on her way to a new life in Arizona.  I'm so proud and happy for her but my heart hurts!  I hate good-byes even if it isn't forever!  I grew to love her so much!

There is some real exciting news about me and my journey.  I have been chosen by someone pretty powerful in the transformation industry.  I'm still pinching myself!  More tomorrow...

Crazy Weeks!!!

This has been a crazy time.  It's going to be slowly back down to a normal life next Friday!  Our house guest Tabitha is graduating and will be moving to Arizona.  I can hardly talk about it as she has been such a blessing to us.  I can hardly talk about it without tears coming.  She is the same way too!  I know this next week is going to fly and them it will be just Mark and I once again!

That can be a good thing as my diet has just sucked!  With daily company, real company and being out of town, choices have not been the best!

I know I've kept you guessing about the gym and my big decision.  My big decision turned out to be a costly mistake!  Not on my part but on the part of the person I hired to help me...A professional body builder and nutritionist.  What has she done?  Caused me a virus on my new Surface Pro 3, missed up My Fitness Pal.  No other advice but I did get the Brownie Bite recipe that I wanted so badly!  I'll be telling her in the next few days that I'm not continuing.

My biggest disappointment with the gym is how slow their nutrition classes are.  One a month!  I have learned a lot about setting goals and about what to drink.  Very good information and I will share it.  I promise!  I love working out at the gym and I love the people who I work out with.  I am getting stronger but I'm still 400 lbs!!!  Yes I have gained since July!  The cardiologist is going to kill me!

I've been confused about what to do!  It looks like I am going to have to figure out this on my own and I will do it!  I will share with you my plan as well!

I did have a major blow-out with Mike.  In a text message I told him I was sick of his bull crap and I thought it might be best to end the friendship.  I will fill you in on the details a little later.  I haven't heard from him in almost a month and I can tell you I am happy about it!!!!

Hang in there with me during the next week.  I will post again this weekend as Tabitha will be gone.  After that she will be back and I want to spend as much time with her as possible before she leaves!

Stay tuned!

Me!

Almost A Month!

Company gone, wedding shower done, recovery from it all progressing!  Scheduled to go back to the gym tomorrow and Saturday.  New class on food journaling scheduled for then too!  I still need to share about the last class on setting goals.  Need to share my news which is good I think.  I'm so behind but I will write more today.  It will be lengthy.  First I have to have breakfast and head to the Dr for a urine test.  Blech!

Crazy Life!!!

I'm here!  Life has been nuts!  Suppose to go out of town and had to cancel.  Have company coming on Thursday and trying to get ready.  Tabitha has been sick and my friend Karen just got in town from Norway!  Hang in there for me!  Took a big step today!  Did not get to gym at all this week!  It has really been nuts!  I'll post asap!  I may have a window tomorrow.  It's 2:51 a.m.  I'm going to bed!

Root Canal!

I'm so sorry but I have just been to hell and back!  Recent crown went bad and yesterday I had a emergency root canal!  I will post tomorrow.  Thanks for understanding!

First Workout!

Running late today!  Another crazy day, exterminator late, wanted to go to the gym a hour earlier as I knew I wouldn't have to workout alone but that didn't work.  Had problems with the battery on my phone and had to spend time with T-Mobile working that out.  Worked out (more later), talked to gym manager, rushed home had 10 minute to get out of gym clothes into street clothes rush to lung Dr., met Mark for lunch rushed home tired.  Rested a little, paid bills, fed cats, took a shower finally

and flat ironed my frizzy, curly hair and we went out to eat.  Visited with Tabitha, finished watch Extreme Makeover and now I'm sitting here writing because I wasn't going to get any further behind and I wanted to tell you about my first workout at the gym.

Good news...I don't have to go back to see the lung Dr. till March 3, 2015!!!!!!  YEA!!!!!

Now to that first day...

I got up feeling very hesitant about going.  After all the bathroom accidents I have had, the severe colitis, I questioned if I was ready.  I thought getting ready for the gym would be a easy thing.  Hey, I use to do Zumba, went to 24 Hour Fitness so I knew the routine of getting gym clothes on until it came time...

To Put On The Shoes!!!!!

Well, let me tell you!  I got out my Asics running shoes, had my socks on and I stepped in and guess what happened?  The whole back rolled in under my foot.  I managed to twist and turn my foot to get it out, found a shoe horn tried again and I couldn't get my foot to budge a inch to get into that shoe.  I was shocked!  I'm only 20 lbs heavier than the last time I wore those shoes.  I tried the other shoe and this foot is my bad ankle.  It hurt.  I had a few bad words to say.  I threw them back into the closet and grabbed my Nike Musique shoes I used for Zumba.  They didn't have the high ridge on the heel and they are more like a tennis shoe with support.  I went and sat sideways on the bed and I pull and shoved and managed to get both shoes on.  By this time I was running really late!  I grabbed my towel, packed my cooler with a couple of water bottles and headed out the door crying from the pain coming from my feet, plus the bewilderment that my shoes did not fit!  How could 20 lbs make such a difference?  Once I got into the car, I called Mark and I got no answer.  I tried him a few times on my way to the gyms as I was crying my eyes out and driving like a bat out of hell trying to get there on time.  I ended up calling a old high school friend of mine Teresa and through tears told her what had happened and how I felt like a failure and how I wanted to just turn the car around and forget it and go home and just wait to die!  She said the sweetest, most supportive things to me plus reminded me how much I had been waiting for this day.  I knew she was right but I just felt so awful and low!!!!  We hung up and I called Mark and this time I got him and I lost it again and he talked to me the rest of the way to the gym encouraging me not to turn around and go home but to go.  He told me that we would get some shoes that would fit.  I can't even put into words the pain that I felt as I drove towards the gym.

Once there, I dried my eyes, grabbed my towel, purse and a water bottle and walked into the gym. Patti, one of the trainers greeting me and told me to come into the office to talk to her and Justin while we waited for 2 more people to show up.  Once I walked into the office, she asked me how my day was and I busted into tears.  My feet were killing me, I still felt like a failure and I still questioned why I was even there.  I wondered if there was any hope for me.  I admitted this to them and they assured me that it would get better and I was not a failure and I would be able to get my healthy back.

I was angry for gaining all this weight back.  I was angry for asking Mike to coach me and allowing him to control me to the point of messing me up so bad.  I truly think that when he was missing around with my points, taking them away from me, not letting me eat my activity points, constantly telling me I was lying about what I was eating, etc.  I truly believe he missed up my metabolism and the more the weight came back on from following exactly what he said I finally cratered, quit WW and headed on the journey I have been on to find out how to fix me.  Don't get me wrong.  I do take responsibility for some of the weight I put back on but not all of it!!!  I could write a book about it all!  I'm sure that is why it is so hard for me to even be friends with him!  Let's move on...enough about him.  He's not a part of this any more!!!!  Thank You Lord!

Two other ladies showed up and Patti introduced us to each other and we began our workout.  The first thing she had us do was to walk 2 laps around the gym.  24 laps equals a mile.  We worked out, we danced, we worked out some more, we walked some more.  We actually walked 6 laps around the gym which is 1/4 of a mile!!!!  With everything else we did, I would say that was a excellent workout wouldn't you?

At the end of our workout I knew that I couldn't not drive home with the shoes on.  I asked them if they would help me get the shoes off.  They couldn't believe how tight the shoes were and they had to tug them off my feet!  I drove home in my socks!

Once home I was so stiff and sore I barely could get out of my car and make it into the house to get undressed and to rest.  Luckily I didn't have anywhere else to go.  As the day wore on, I just kept getting more stiff and sore.  It was horrible!  I have to admit it was good too!  It felt good to feel my body respond to activity after spending the last 3 years sitting and doing nothing!!!!!  By the evening I could hardly get myself up and it hurt to take a drink of water or Diet Coke!  But I was going back!

Because of the shoe situation, I cancelled the classes that I reserved for Thursday and Friday.  I left the first Nutrition class for Saturday alone.  I knew that I could make it.  I knew I needed Mark's help to get me some new shoes!  I have the hardest time reaching my feet!

Tomorrow I will tell you about the class!!!  It was AMAZING!!!!!!

Let The New Journey Begin...

Finally!  I decided to keep the Microsoft Surface Pro 3 and in fact I think it is pretty cool once I got Geek Squad to get things working the way I wanted them to with Google Chrome etc.  It was expensive but it is really cool!  One good thing is I tend to burn up keyboards and with this this thing if I do I just go and buy a new one.  Change the color too!  Right now I have purple!  LOL!

I'm doing a lot better with the Colitus and I saw the Dr. last Friday and he doubled one of the medicines and boy howdy did it ever make a difference!

Now on to the gym...There is so much to share and I know I can't do it all today so here we go at the beginning!

I went in for my first body assessment on August 22.  It was so nice to see the gym totally finished and up and running.  It really did excite me and I by the time I left I knew that I had made the right decision in joining.  It is an obese person's dream come true!  Trust me!   I wish that they had a Downsize Fitness on every street corner in America as it is so needed.  I hope soon there will be.

I met Justin the manager for the first time and when he pulled my file it had "Woo Hoo!" written in bright letters across the front of it.  Come to find out I was the first person in Houston to join.  For a minute I thought I was going to be known as the Woo Hoo Girl!  LOL!

Here is my gross assessment!  I had to fight tears but Justin assured me this is as bad as it gets:

Weight:  391.6 lbs (Gross!)

BMI:  61.3

Body Fat %:  55.7%  (OMG! Gross!)

Body Fat Range:  Obese

Fat Free Mass:  173.4 lbs

Visceral Fat Rating:  26 (Don't ask me what this means!  I need to find out!)

Body Water Percent: 33.5%

Body Water Mass:  131.2 lb (Now that is some major fluid!)

Muscle Mass:  164.8 (Justin says that is good.)

Bone Mass: 8.6 lb (Justin said that was good that usually a person my size it is around 6)

Basal Metabolic Rate: 2590 kcal

Metabolic Age:  73 years (I just want to cry when I think about this!!!!!)

Daily Calorie Intake: 4040 kcal (This is what it takes to maintain 391.6 lbs)

Impedence:  282 (pie symbol)  (I don't know what this means!)

My Target:

Ideal Body Weight: 140.4 lb (More on this later)

Degree of Obesity:  178.9%

The rest of the page just shows the above information in charts.  Half the page is blank because it is the first one.  I get this done twice a month with the membership that I signed up for.  I will have to ask when my next one will be.  It may be a month because I have had the dickens getting in there to work out with this Colitus!

So...Here is the beginning!  Tomorrow I will share about my first workout and my first Nutrition class!

How am I doing with my eating?  I have been all over the place.  Not sure what to do.  I'm still watching carbs and sugar but I'm anxious to see what Downsize has to say.  They really have their stuff together!

See you tomorrow!  Off to the gym!

I Think This May Work!!!

I ended up calling Geek Squad late last night and went to bed with them working on it for me!  They got my games to work on Facebook, got Google Chrome to work! The machine is working more like a PC than a tablet!  I'm missing with it this morning, but I will be back and write a little later!

Here is a picture of me taken at the gym yesterday!  I have a long way to go but I'm going!  I'll add some more views when I post!  Want to make sure this works right!

Oh God! This is a test!

My laptop went on the fritz again!!!!!  The freaking power supply cord will not charge the battery nor will it supply power to the unit!  Yes this is the $1500 Asus Zenbook 2 years old that spent over a month in the shop back in June!!!!  We just spent another $1500 on a Microsoft Surface Pro which is crap!!!!!  I can't figure the thing out plus it is telling me Internet Explorer is not compatible with Blogger!!!!  I'm just freaking out!!!  This is a test post and to let you know what is going on.  I guess there is a trip planned to Best Buy again tomorrow!!!!!!  I have so much to say too!!!!!

Oh Man! I Hate Breaking Promises!!!!

I have so much to say!!!!  I just feel way too bad to write!!!!  I'm not promising y'all any more.  Hopefully tomorrow I will feel up to writing.  So much to tell!!!....

Sick! (update)

I have been dizzy drunk feeling.  Today better.  I have Anna this morning and then my oncologist afterwards.  Then I'm coming home and I will post!

UPDATE:  My afternoon appt. ran a long time.  I developed a bad toothache and came home a slept.  It's late and tomorrow morning I have a class scheduled at the gym and a Dr. appt. at 1:30.  I promise to fill you in when I get home.  Lots to write about the gym!  Sick of Dr. appts!!!  Thursday I have 2 more and can you believe I have another one on Friday?!!!!!

Where Does Time Go?

Everyday I get up and say I'm going to post and time gets away from me!

Let's see what all has happened...

I saw the dentist and it was a hell of a visit.  He pinched my lip and caused it to bleed so bad he had to cauterize it!  He had a devil of a time keeping my mouth numb for some dumb reason.  I was scared to death he wasn't going to be able to crown my tooth or fill the one with a cavity.  He did it but I'm telling you I felt it good!  Good thing I can fight through pain!  My mouth was sore for a week and my lip is still swollen and it hurts!

Two days later I started having uncontrollable diarrhea and again it was about 6 days after my Remicade!  Second month in a roll.  Do I need to explain how sick I am of this.  Here it is almost a week later and I'm getting better.  Come to find out all my pathology reports came back benign!   YEA!!!!!  But...I do have severe Colitis and the Dr. put me on a new medicine and told me it would take a week to 10 days to get better!  Great!  Today is day 4 of the meds.  This Dr. wants to see me today in the Woodlands at 3:40!!!  3:40!!!  That is cross town in rush hour traffic (at least getting home) with diarrhea!  Idiot!  I'm calling them this morning to beg mercy!!!!!

We have been doing OK since letting the chef go.  I do miss her!  But it was time.  I'm not doing any thing fancy but doing only 2-3 recipes a week.  I'm getting use to it.  Not sure about taking back the grocery shopping again but that will be next.  Basically baking chicken and fish and doing steam-able veggies and such.  Of course I have to fix things up a bit. LOL!

Last weekend Mark and I attacked our home office and made great strides.  I'm sure we will hit it had again this weekend.  It looks so much better and I'm not so overwhelmed about it.  I could kill him for saving all the paper stuff he thinks we need to have.  It was crazy and after 3 lawn bags full of shredded stuff he finally is on board with me!

I have worked on my angel at night and she is coming along.  I will post another picture of her in the next few days.  In fact, I'll post the last one I took!  Here she is:

Another good thing is DOWNSIZE has opened!!!!  The bad thing is with this Colitis I can't work out so I'm pissed!  I'm so ready to get going!!!!  I have signed up for my body analysis tomorrow.  I think that I can do it!  Pray!  and I signed up for classes next week.  It is going to be so much fun, especially getting to work out with other large people and trainers who have a heart like Chris Powell for transformations!

Looks like fun doesn't it?  I can't wait!  I feel a new journey coming on!  May just have to go back to Progress picture and Stats!  What do you think?  Would you like that?

I Know! Time Got Away With Me!

I don't know where to start!  Life is different with Tabitha living here.  She is a real sweet girl and isn't here very much and when she is, we really enjoy her!

This last week was a whirlwind with Dr. appts, seeing Karen and the colonoscopy.  Glad that is over!  I think it was the worse one ever!  Long story short, the way the Dr. ordered the prep didn't fully clean me out and told my husband that!  The nodule is still there, he told Mark he did a stool test for an infection and there were some erosions.  We won't know anything for 2-4 weeks!  I'm worried sick about this nodule!!!!  Pray for me!!!!

I did get a good report from the Cardiologist!  They did a ultra sound and a echo-cardiogram and the heart is smaller than it was in April.  It was beating strong, not skipping a beat and the vessels looked to be open!  He explained to me the type of congestive heart failure I do have and he assured me that it is fully reversible!  He said the heart muscle was thick.  He told me if I keep doing everything he says to that all the damage done to my heart and no one would be ever to tell that I was ever obese!  I gave him a high 5 and told him I was ready to get it done!  I'm so pumped about this!!!  He was also shocked that my weight was down.  Funny thing he asked me how I was doing it because he wanted to lose a few lbs and was having a hard time with it.

It was great getting to see Karen even though it was lunch with the family.  So, we didn't get to do any girl talking but at least we saw each other!  She will be coming back in September because he son is getting married so hopefully we will get a few days in.  I sure hope so anyway.

It was a tough decision getting rid of the chef and last week was so crazy I ate out more than I should have and the fluid has been horrible!  Today I'm making chicken salad and tuna salad for lunch, egg muffins for breakfasts.  I bought a low carb cookbook and I'm making a Mozzerella Meatloaf and some BBQ Country Style ribs.  I'll just grill some chicken and bake some fish for fill in's.  I see the Weight Dr. this Tuesday and I hope we can figure out how to get me back on track.  I really just want to do low-carb or Chris Powell's carb cycling as I believe it will achieve the same results.  I have lots of questions for her.  Since the candy bar I have struggled!!!!

How are all of you doing?  Leave me a comment.  It encourages me!

I have a dental appointment on Monday and I see the other cardiologist on Wednesday.  The A-Fib medicine is working!!!!  Yea!  Oh!!!! Another thing the main cardiologist said to me was I can get off this A-Fib medicine because it can go away with healing and strengthening my heart!  How cool is that?

The gym should open next Monday and I'm excited about getting that going once again!  I really hope and pray that they can help me get my strength and body back!  I know all of this is 80% nutrition so...speaking of which I need to get my salads put together!

I'll be back tomorrow!

Time Has Gotten Away!

Quick update so you all don't worry about me!

Got a long term house guest last Monday.  Been cleaning out to give Tabitha some room.  She works with Mark part-time and is a student.  Family she was staying with all of a sudden asked her to leave, she was going to sleep in her car.  When I heard about it, I asked her to come and stay here.  More to this but will tell more later.

Good report from Cardiologist!  Can't wait to tell about it!

Have still be having stomach issues and of all things pro-biotics have helped.  Colonoscopy is scheduled on Thursday.

In the last 2 days I have shopped Costco and a new Market store that opened in our area.  Knees hurt but I did it!

Let the Chef go so now I'm the cook!

I may not get back here till after the colonoscopy.  Maybe I can write Wednesday morning before the prep starts.  If not after the colonoscopy.

My eating has been horrible! Have gained weight but at least I know what I need to do.  I hate the way I feel!  Sugar and refined carbs are YUCK!!!!

My best friend Karen is here from Norway and I'll get to see her after Anna in the morning!

Sorry for a short glimpse but I will tell more as soon as I can!  PROMISE!

Finally Feeling Better!

I'm sorry I haven't been around for the last few days but I've had many doctors appointments, hair appointment and trying to get things done.

The steroids did the trick and I am feeling so much better! In fact my crohns is so much better I can see I have been suffering for a long time. There must be something to do with not getting enough Remicade.  I can't wait to see my Rheumatologist next Tuesday so that we can get a new plan on my treatment.

I'm still struggling with my eating and I've been all over the spectrum! I've been dating a lot of unhealthy foods! In fact I can really see how sugar and carbs make me feel. I'm not sure I'm ready to say that I'm ok with giving them up that I am sure that I want to be very careful in my food selections.  I saw Dr. Aygarko on Tuesday and I am down 50 pounds since April. It feels so good to be back at 377. I know I have a long way to go but I'm proud of what I have done since my scare in April.

Another thing I'd like to report is my lung function is getting better all the time. For a long time when I checked it with my little finger meter my oxygen level was at 88 or at 89. Now, consistently its at 93 and 94! So that is a very exciting thing for me and I can't wait to see my lung doctor next month. In fact I see my cardiologist next week and I hope he is happy with my weight loss so far and will give me a good report of not having to have gastric surgery.

I did have an interesting conversation with my neighbor Rae  the other night. She stopped over after work to go over what I'm doing to leave my weight as she was discouraged that her weight loss wasn't as good as mine. She had lost 6 pounds in three weeks which is nothing to be sad about but she felt like something was wrong. So we sat and talk for a while and I explained to her all that I ate and explain to her that reading the nutrition box found on foods was not enough. I showed her where the nutritional label could show no sugar but the ingredients listed showed sugar. She about flipped out. I explained to her that company had to reach a certain amount of sugar to show the product had sugar in the nutritional box.  She called me about an hour after she left to tell me that everything she had been eating had sugar in it. She was mad but she was determined. It is amazing that nearly everything has sugar and I believe all the sugar is causing obesity and diabetes.

There is an interesting video on Time.com entitled Ending the war on fat.  I encourage you to go out and watch it. Also in the June 23rd issue of Time there is an article entitled Eat Butter. It will blow you away. You may can find it at the library.

I'm really excited about tomorrow because I get to finally see the inside Downsize Fitness!  They are having open house so that we can see how the construction of the gym is coming along. I'm hoping to find out the actual opening day!  So stay tuned. I will take pictures if they will allow it.

Well, I'm going to close this off here and go start the laundry so I will catch you all tomorrow to tell you all about the gym. I am determined to get back on track today as my next goal is to see 360?

Slowly Getting Better...

I'm sorry I haven'y posted in the last few days.  Still not feeling the greatest but I was able to get my Dr. to call something in for me.  It is slowly giving me some relief.  I have never had such a crohn's attack so quickly after having my Remicade!  It is almost as if they forgot to mix the drug in!  I sure hope that didn't happen!  I'm sure all of this is because I'm not getting enough of the medicine because of insurance limitations and my weight!  Thank goodness I will see my Rheumatologist next week to find out what else can be done!

The maids came on Friday and it is so nice to have a clean house to enjoy for the weekend.  We did not cook and we both are sick of what the Chef has made so we just ate out!  Not good for the diet!

Pretty much all weekend long I had to stay close to the bathroom and I did get to stitch on my angel I'm making in honor of Jennifer who tragically died 20 years ago in a car accident.  It was one week after her high school graduation and the day before Father's Day.  She was the only child to Les and Penny.  Penny is like a sister to me.  Here is  picture of it so far:

 She is going to be beautiful!  I will post my work from time to time.  This pattern has a young girl ascending to this angel.  It's called "The Angel of Mercy" by  Marilyn Leavitt-Imblum. She is one of my favorite cross-stitch designers.  This one has a lot of beads and lots of metallic thread.  I can't wait to see her finished.  This is also a very good way to keep you from eating!  Do any of you have a hobby?  Please share with me!

I have a dentist appointment and I'm not sure that I can make it yet!  I hate to cancel again.  They are going to fill a small cavity and take off and replace a crown so there is no way of knowing how long I will need to be there and it makes me very nervous!

I see the Weight Management Dr. tomorrow.  She is not going to be happy with me but we are going to have to work something out.  I have no problem giving up sugar and artificial sweeteners, I would like to have maybe a Dove's Dark once a week.  I can give up pasta, potatoes, bread and rice for the most part but why can't I have a treat once a week.  I hope to get some answers tomorrow.

We are having the Chef at least one more time, Especially since I'm having this flare-up!  So we'll see how the next 2 weeks go.

Well that is all for today!  Still laying low in the weeds.  Surely I will get to feeling better soon!

It Must Be Crohn's!

I'm getting sick of this!

I did get some laundry done and I did wash some pots and pans and folded some clothes.  I even picked up.  I also called and emailed my Rheumatologist for some help.  Of course she left town at noon and won't be back for a week!!!  Her assistant is going to talk to another Rheumatologist about prescribing me a steroid pack to take.  Pray that don't make me come in!  I'm not sure I can make it!

Frankly this is confusing me.  This new diet is suppose to help inflammation but apparently it's not!  Maybe it is the lack of grains?  I don't know.  I just know I can't live this way!  I guess Stacey's divorce, worrying about her and my grandson and worrying about myself is taking it's toll.  I don't know!  I know I'm just miserable!  I also have a colonoscopy coming up on August 7 and I'm way past due and I'm worried about it and this doesn't help!  I just had my Remicade!

I have to tell you all that I am contemplating letting the Chef go!  Not sure I'm ready to cook but as of this morning my scale is saying I'm 382 lbs.  I'm down 45 lbs from my 427 in April.  I must be doing something right!  My intentions was to let her go when I got back into the 370's.  Remembering I could cook dinner at that weight.  My body is weak because of the time I spend off my feet and not exercising.  Downsize Fitness is having their Open House on July 26 so I presume they will officially open shortly after that!  Another reason why I have to get this issue I'm having to stop!  I'm ready to get stronger.  I'm ready to live again.

So...what to do?  Mark's commission sucks right now so we are paying for the chef out of our savings.  We've hit our savings $7,000 helping our daughter and not sure how much more help she might need till she gets a job and her own money flow going.  Surely I can do this again!  Prayers for direction please!

Well I must hit the hay.  I have a few things to do in the morning and I hope they don't call me into the Dr. office for some help!  It just seems when it rains it pours!

Sick!

Well I had a good day Sunday. I almost got all the lunch is cooked up but I was missing a couple of veggies. I know that I can get them done before we actually need them. I did however, ruin my knees and ankles, but they have recovered.  I was also able to get some stitching done on my angel which made me very happy. The biggest thing that happened on Sunday I was I was able to get back on track. That felt good and showed me that I can't turn it around and it doesn't feel bad.

On Monday, that was a different story. I woke up feeling okay a little gas in the tummy but figured that would pass after a while.  Boy was I ever wrong! I spent nearly all day long running to the bathroom. I had to cancel my dental appointment, my appointment on Tuesday went Mark L. and I talked to Anna about what was going on just in case I had to cancel her on Wednesday. I'm not sure if the new heart medicine is causing this or I have picked up a virus. Saturday night I was cold which was out of the normal for me and again today I had chills around noon time.  I have managed to stitch this evening , so that's a good thing.

I wish I had more to report or talk about but nothing's really going on. I just don't feel the greatest and I'm about ready to hit the hay. I have found a very interesting advertisement/article  in the Reader's Digest. I'm planning to share that with you all in the next few days.

Please pray that whatever is going on will stop and I can get back to life. I did have another good day even though I did not eat very much at all.

Thanks for your prayers!

Still Struggling To Get Back...I Won't Give Up!

Mark had to work this morning and my niece Meredith and her partner Shannon came over.  It was a stressful visit since it's been a year in a half since I've seen Shannon.  I just can't stand her after what she has put Meredith through.  But you know sometimes you have to do what you have to do!  I guess the thing that really irked me was Meredith has gone on and on as to how much she has changed.  Bull!  When Patrick went down for his nap, she wanted us to be very quiet.  Bull crap!  She even asked Meredith if she could run our bathroom exhaust fan.  That is something she did once that burned Mark up because it just sucks the a/c out.  The list could go on and on but I won't bore you to tears!

After they left Mark and I had a BBQ sandwich and a little potato salad.  Then we both took a nap.  While Shannon and Meredith were here my best friend sent me a picture of us with some other friends celebrating her birthday.  The picture shocked me and it made me cry.  I've been so sad ever since!

It's a old picture, out of focus but that's me in the purple shirt.  What happened?  I'm telling you it shocked me!  I was so small!  I don't have very many pictures from this time period.  In fact I think the only ones I have is when I was a child.

It hasn't helped that I have gotten off track and I'm beating myself up!  Last night for dinner we had a rib-eye, baked potato and salad.  I feel like crap this morning!  I hope that today will be the day I don't crater and I can get going.  One thing is for sure.  I sure feel the carbs and sugar!!!!  I know some of the intense cravings I have been having helped me get off track.  I can't wait to see Dr. Agyarko again!

I wanted to stitch like crazy after dinner but for some odd reason I had some chills and I'm tired.  I need to get a lot done tomorrow.  I need to get lunches made for Mark and I and possibly some breakfast muffins.

Here is a recipe that I have been promising to share:

Ingredients:

1 large head of Cauliflower cut into bite size pieces (approx 6 cups)
6-8 strips of bacon cooked and crumbled (Cooked in oven at 400° for 20 mins)
6 Tbs chopped Chives
1/2 cup Mayonnaise
1/2 cup Sour Cream
2 cups Colby Jack Cheese ( may use cheddar)
8 oz container sliced mushrooms

Directions:
Preheat oven to 425°
In a large pot boil water and cook Cauliflower for 8 - 10 minutes, drain and let cool.
In a large bowl combine sour cream, mayo, 1/2 of crumbled bacon, 3tbs chives, 1 cups of cheese,mushrooms and cauliflower and mix well... place in baking dish and cover with remaining 1 cup of cheese and rest of bacon crumbles. Bake for 15-20 minutes until cheese is melted. top with remaining 3Tbs chives and serve.
ENJOY!!!!


We love this recipe!  It is how we survive not having potatoes.  I would not bat a eye in serving this to company!  I hope you will try it!!!

I did label this post so that you can find the recipe again!

Praying that tomorrow will be a better day and I get back on track!

I'm beat! Physically and Mentally! !!

This has been a whirlwind kind of a week. on Tuesday I met with Anna and we had a great session and then it was off to meet some old family friends for lunch. We had a great time visiting and just talking each other to death.  I did have a great time but came home tired.

On Wednesday I met with the new heart specialist in regards to my atrial fibrillation and he was able to prescribe a new medication. Let's hope it works! Wow I was in the office they brought to my attention that my records stated that I had congestive heart failure. I can't tell you how much I flipped my wig over this one! Once I left there and had a good cry I started calling doctors to find out who put that in my charts because I was confident my heart specialist did not. Upon further investigation it is looking like the original cardiologist that I had to fire when I was in the hospital the first time is the culprit.  How I found this out was after to call to my attending physicians, I called the hospital and spoke with a young lady in regards to my records.  In telling her my story she interrupts me to tell me she knew who I was because she took care of me during my stay. What a small world. We talked about all that happened and she gave me instructions on how to get my records and encourage me to do so. She also agrees with me that most likely the evil doctor is the one he put that in my records which really pisses me off because all he did was an echocardiogram and tell me I was gonna die everyday. It didn't help that on Monday I paid that dumb ass Dr.'s Bill and cried all day. So it's off to another battle.

On Thursday I had my remicade and last night we had to go out and buy a car for our daughter he was going through a divorce. Can I say she really was married to an ass! Y'all know me well enough to know that I usually don't think this way or act this way but I'm just tired of problems over the last week or so. The computer problems, the home security, helping our daughter with attorneys fees, now a car, my own health issues and this weight, I'm about at my wits end!

My eating has gotten way off track since Wednesday and I am having a hell of a time getting back. So far today I'm doing well I'm just really tired. I apologize for not getting out here everyday but I could not get my writing juices going. They're not going that well right now...LOL!  Right now I'm so tired I'm trying to dictate this on my phone and having a hard time keeping my eyes open. It really must be the carbs that I've had and the last couple of days because I just don't feel well. A good test about what the doctor is doing and I have been to believe she's on to something that is big. I feel a little drugged but I'm sure it's the hidden sugar that I have had over the last few days.

We should pick up Stacy's car this evening I'll be back out Saturday evening with a clear head and more things to say. I know these things will pass but I really could use a break from it all right now. Helping my daughter it's worth it because she's such a beautiful person inside and out and I want the best for her and our grandson.

See y'all Saturday evening or first thing Sunday morning!

Struggling And Fighting!

We had a busy 4th!  Meredith did get here till about 12:30 and we visited a little and then we grilled some hamburger patties on the grill.  Mark and Meredith ate theirs on buns with chips but I just ate the patty wrapped in lettuce with all the trimmings and No Chips!

Mark and Meredith moved our 50" flat screen from the media room to the living room and then she helped Mark hook up our new 55" for the media room.  It is a LED and the old one was a LCD and boy did it heat the room up.  Hopefully we avoid having to have to put a new big a/c in the house to accommodate all this equipment!

I made them some baked beans to go with some potato salad and brisket that we picked up last night for today.  I made me a salad with lettuce, tomatoes, cheese, red onion, avocado and some chopped up brisket with olive oil and red wine vinegar!  YUM!  For dessert Meredith and Mark had watermelon and I had strawberries!  I hate watermelon.  I know I'm weird.

We did watch a movie or better said, they watched the movie and I played on my phone.  I would have stitched but my lamp was bothering Meredith.  It is bright.  It was one of the new Star Trek movies.  I hate Sci-fi!  After Meredith left Mark watched a newer James Bond movie and I got interested in the last part of it.  After it was over we went and fell into the bed.

This morning I got up and it was my hope to get the blog written and get to my stitching but it didn't happen.  I got caught up looking for some gifts on the Vera Bradley website.  Marked fixed us some eggs, ham and cheese for breakfast and  then he took another one of the media chairs that my weight broke.  Hopefully I won't break another one.  Both of the chairs that broke had been heavily used for the last 4 years and the ones we are sitting in now have hardly been used.  I'm hoping and praying that the other two will make it back soon!

We did get some thunder and strong rain showers this afternoon and I did fall asleep for about a hour.  For lunch I had left over ribs and some pinto beans and tonight for dinner I had chicken, green beans and some pinto beans.  Mark watched a couple of movies while I worked on a menu for our chef.  Not sure that I'm liking this a whole lot now.  She use to send us some choices and all we had to do but pick.  She knows that I am doing low-carb and look what she sent:

Hi Laura,
 
Not sure if you can have some of these sides...just change if you can't have carbs.  
 
1.  Chicken Tikka Masala with Brown Basmati Rice, Roasted Curried Cauliflower.
2.  Shrimp Etouffee, Brown Rice, Spinach  or Romaine Salad w/Berries, Feta, Almonds and Raspberry Vinaigrette 
3.  Stuffed Peppers w/lean beef or turkey topped w/Tangy Tomato Sauce or Brown Gravy or Fire Roasted Salsa? Pepper Jack Cheese Mashed Potatoes
4.  Shrimp and/or Scallops w/Angel Hair Pasta, Diced Tomatoes, Garlic, Basil, EV Olive Oil; Caesar Salad
5.  Beef Stroganoff w/Whole Wheat Spiral Noodles, Steamed Broccoli w/Lemon Zest
6.  Chicken Enchiladas w/Green (salsa verde) sauce?  Rice and Beans? 
7.  Seafood Gumbo (crab, fish, shrimp, want okra?); Brown Rice, Want a salad or other Veggie?
8.  Chicken Teriyaki, Veggie Fried Rice, Mini Veggie Eggrolls 

Amazing!  What did she miss?  No rice, no pasta, no potatoes, no bread, no suguar!  Brown rice? No. Brown Gravy? No.  Mashed potatoes? Hell No!  Angel Hair Pasta? Oh NO!  Spiral Noodles? NO!  Chicken Enchiladas?  Made with what? NO!  Veggie fried rice? Come on Antonette!  Where is your head?  Mini Eggrolls? NO!

Can you tell I just lost it.  Lately she has only been preparing grilled or baked meats and veggies!  Good ones!  So I had to go looking on low-carb websites and blogs and Pinterest to find some recipes to send to her.  I pay her $350 every two weeks cheffing fee!  She needs to be figuring this out!  The last time she delivered food she suggested tacos and use lettuce cups as tortillas, Stir-fries without any rice!  So WTH?!!!!

Sorry, but this really did make me mad.  I'm really having a tough time with all of this.  You don't eat certain things for 57 years and then go through a major change easily!  Now you know my age!  Dang!  So set the record straight...I just turned 58!  LOL!  My mind says I'm 20!  So...

Tomorrow I want to stitch!  I want to relax.  However the maids are coming on Monday at noon and Mark has to put the other TV into the cabinet in the living room and I really need to cook some food for our lunches this week.  Hopefully I will get enough stitching done that I will be satisfied.

This journey continues....

Happy 4th of July!!!!

I'm sorry I didn't get out here like I promised.  I had my security people in my house all day and my internet was up and down all day long.  Last night I just got too interested in starting a new cross-stitch project and when it start looking like something I will post pictures.

Our anniversary was not what I had dreamed it to be.  It was special to me because it fell on the same day of wedding 28 years later.  I wanted it to be special.  We did nothing.  On Sunday we went out and Mark bought me 2 new pairs of shoes that I desperately needed.  We also had dinner at a fabulous restaurant Fogo De Chao.  It was perfect.  We ate too much!  It put me on a guilt trip!

On Monday I decided to not eat till I got hungry.  Of course this came in the Dentist's chair getting my teeth cleaned but when that was over I had to go get money our of our bank and deposit it into Stacey's account.  I was so hungry that I went through Whataburger and got a specialty burger.  After that guilt of having bread, I called Mark and told him that I had blown it and we were going out for enchiladas for dinner.  Well...luckily we didn't.  I was able to get my wits about me and I could see that bread was the worst thing that I ate and adding mexican food would make it worse and make me feel more guilty.  We stayed at home and ate a delicious meal that the chef made.

Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday my breakfast was hit and miss and so was lunch.  It was hard to deal with the hunger when it came but I stayed true to the guidelines that the Dr. gave me.  I guess the guilt that I feel is not eating at proper meal times.  I've got to get it on track so that I don deal with this intense hunger and the guilt which makes me want to give up.  Food is a battle isn't it?

I'll write about my day later on.  My company has arrived so I will have to cut it short.  I hope all of you have a blessed day celebrating our country's birthday, our freedom and remembering all the men and women who have fought and are fighting for us!!!

Got Internet!

This has been a horrible time fighting with AT&T and my Home Security Co.  But this afternoon I got my Internet back and hopefully will have our Home Security hooked back up!  I'm going to spare you any more gory details but getting mine back caused my neighbor to lose his!  I also had to cancel a major Dr.'s appointment only to find out my Security Co. did not have Internet in my area.  I will not ever know why or how today a call to AT&T to get on the schedule for a install that today within a hour and a half a technician would be at my door!  But last Friday?....don't need to remind you!

I had AFIB today among all of this.  I was on the phone most of the day and tonight I'm just tired!

Tomorrow is just waiting for the alarm people so...I will get out here and tell you the other stuff as this topic bores me and I'm sure it bores you!  I do have some to share about the journey so that is where I will spend my energy to catch you up and then we can get going on a daily basis once again!

Sound good?

Sleep Well!

The Last Two Days...AWFUL!!!!!

This is going to be short. Yesterday I decided to complain to AT&T about the speed of my Internet.  In less than 30 minutes the Agent I was talking to, set me up for U-Verse Internet and disconnected my home phone which cut my Internet!!!!

I promptly called back desperately trying to get it restored.  I spent 6 hours on the phone talking to agent to agent to departments trying to get it all back and they could not do it even getting management involved.  The best they could do was move my installation date up to Monday afternoon which will cause me to have to cancel my dental appointment.

That isn't it, there's more!

I have to say here, that I did get my computer back from the Geek Squad. I can't tell you the frustration after not having it for nearly a month and not being able to use it. I can't even describe the anger that I had. The good news is I didn't binge and I did not get off my new eating plan.

This morning I woke up and I decided to use my cell phone as a hotspot I got on the web and mess around on Facebook and other sites that I like to visit. Mark had decided to take one of the broken Media chairs to Lazy Boy. Just before he left Mike called and I told him about what happened with AT&T and he brought to my attention that without a phone are home security system was not being monitored. I just flipped out!

I then tried calling AT&T to see if there was anything they could do. OF COURSE NOT!!!!!   I then got so angry that I started calling places like Verizon, Comcast and our security monitoring company.

I also need to insert here that today is our 28th wedding anniversary. 28 years ago our wedding also fell on a Saturday and it was our hope to have a very special day together. Can you see that it wasn't going to happen? I can tell you that we even didn't go out to dinner tonight. No celebration today and I can't tell you how that gripes my butt.

So, when I talked to our security monitoring company, they could offer as Internet along with monitoring of our house without a phone line. They were even able to offer us a bundle package. While I was talking to the agent she was even able to get an installment time for Tuesday. So, about 30 minutes to an hour later she calls back and for some reason the installation department call her back and said they could not squeeze me in on Tuesday. The earliest they could get to me is... July 11!!! I can't tell you how I lost it. The poor girl new it was our anniversary and it really upset her when I started crying and she begged me just stop and to enjoy my day and I just couldn't. So what she promised me is that on Monday morning as soon as she gets in she will talk to her manager and get her manager to speak to the Installation Manager to get my installation escalated under the circumstances I have been a long term security customer and right now I don't have the ability to have the home monitored. That's my only hope at this point.

So Here I am again this time dictating on my samsung galaxy s5 on my data package to my phone which is unlimited. I have very limited data on my hotspot so I need to save it for things I need to do on my computer.

On Friday I did have a great time having lunch and catching up with Doreen. Its always good to see her. I was able to find something on the menu that would work for my new eating plan.

So where does this leave us until I get internet service back? I will try to post on this blog that I can tell you this isn't the easiest thing to do and maybe I'll get used to it. So keep checking back and I will try my best to keep you updated.

We're going to try tomorrow the start fresh and celebrate our 28th wedding anniversary. Our dinner plans and reservations are at a place we have never gone and it will work perfectly for me. The name of the restaurant is Fogo De Chao.

I did cry a lot today because I had been looking forward to this celebration and now my eyes are foggy, dry and they hurt.  It is almost 11:00 here so I'm going to end this and try to calm down some more so I can sleep.

Excuse the typos!  Love ya!

Good News and Today...Busy and Tired!

The Dr.'s scale showed a bigger loss than mine.  Her's said that I've lost 17.5 lbs.  Mine says 13.2.  I think that I will stick to my scale because it is digital and it is the scale that weighed me the same as the expensive ones used at Weight Watchers.  Her's was one of the regular Dr. scales on carpet.  Anyway I have lost a lot in 9 days and the Dr. was so happy!  I did find out that I have been doing exactly what she expected me to do.  No bread, pasta, rice and potatoes, no sugar, no artificial sweeteners except Ste-via and no oil except Olive Oil so that also means no butter.  Trust me it can be done and I've been o.k. other than the withdrawals.  She also has me eating low glycemic and maybe this weekend I will do a post with nothing but the information sheets that she gave me if you think that you would like to follow it.

I showed her the True Lemon drink additive like Crystal Light that I have been using that does have 1 gram of sugar in it. She said that it was fine. I also got approval to use My Fit Foods Protein Supplement Mix which I really do like that is sweetened with Ste-via.  I told her that I had gotten my Diet Coke Zero down to 1 a day at dinner and I was going to try really hard to give it up this weekend.  I told her that I just enjoy it with my dinner.  She asked me when I had it did it make me hungry in the evening and have cravings and I told her "No."  She told me that I could have 1 a day as long as it didn't cause cravings or increase my hunger.

She did look over the 9 days that I tracked on My Fitness Pal and was very impressed with how I was eating.  She told me that I did not have to track any more. She agreed that tracking is not good for people who have Eating Disorders because it makes too much focus on food.  I also told her that I got so focused on calories that I stopped eating mindfully and she did get a little excited about that and told me "No, you must continue eating mindfully!  It is important to just eat enough to satisfy and not be stuffed or full."  I told her that I would start doing that and with no tracking and weighing and measuring some things that I would focus more on that.  She doesn't want me to weigh and measure anything.  She said if you eat like you have been mindfully you will still have good weight loss each time we see each other.  So for the next two weeks I'll eat like I have, forget that my nutrition shows that my fat is 50% of what I'm eating but she said it is perfectly fine because it is healthy fats.  Olive Oil and Avocados plus the trace amounts in the other things.  This is real different from anything I have ever done.

I did talk to her about our anniversary being this weekend and how I have been craving a potato.  I asked her if I could have a few bites of potato this weekend and she said yes.  She said to me "Laura, this is not a diet but a lifestyle.  I didn't take away things to make you miserable but I had to so that you would become sensitive as to how carbs affect you a little at a time."  She went on to tell me that if the potato made me want to have potatoes the next day and/or I felt bad after eating them such as a drop in my blood sugar that we would have to say good-bye to potatoes.  She  said if I eat them without any affect to how my body reacts or how I feel then "on occasion" I could enjoy a few bites of potatoes.  The same with Ezekiel bread.  I can try it doing the same way.  If it works for me then I can't have it every day but every once in a while.  So these are the two foods that we are going to test the next 2 weeks and go from there.  She really knows her stuff.  I really do like her.  So let's see what happens over the next two weeks making these changes.  I'm so pleased with her approach and knowledge I really wish that I could have found her years ago!

Today we took Ernie in to see the Specialist and my baby has a nodule on his liver.  It is only 9 mm and is smooth and not rough edged so that is good news so far.  They are doing some extensive blood work on him including some of it going to Texas A&M to their Veterinary Clinic.  They did start him on an antibiotic to see if it would help the liver counts due to inflammation.  He will have to go back in 2 weeks when he finishes them for a repeat of blood work.  Depending on this first batch of blood work they may want to do an aspiration of his liver in the near future but they didn't feel it is necessary at this point.

They did tell us that our Vet uses a Equestrian blood machine which is used for horses.  They can give you some false readings.  The are retesting him on a small animal machine which will be more accurate.  The Specialist wasn't so concerned that his ACL count was up but at one point his Hemocrit level was high and that says more about the liver than the ACL.  We really did like this Specialist it was more like talking to a Dr. than a Vet!  His pancreas, adrenal glands, gall bladder all look good.  The liver looks good with the exception of this nodule.  His left kidney is showing some age but his right kidney is perfect.  So if we can figure out this liver problem then our Ernie is in pretty good shape for a 10 year old little boy.  Don't faint be we spent nearly $1,100 today!  YIKES!

My ankles and knees hurt from all the walking, riding in the car and all that stuff.  I also saw pictures today on Facebook showing that Downsize construction is progressing and will open next month.  I can't wait to get started there.  I know that is going to help my transformation along with this Eating Specialist and the work that I have done with the Eating Disorder Team.

Tomorrow, I'm going to have lunch with Doreen.  That is if I can walk!

Wish me luck!

Bad Morning/Fantastic Afternoon

Note:  I woke up at 4:00 this morning in A. Fib.  I felt bad for a while this morning.  I met with the Weight Management Dr. this after with all kinds of good news.  When I have A. Fib it just exhausts me.  Forgive me for not writing tonight.  In the morning we have to take my sweet Ernie to see a Board Certified Veterinarian Internist about his elevated liver counts.  I'm so worried about my little boy.  Please send prayers for him and me.  We are so close and I can't stand the thought something be seriously wrong with my baby.  I will write about today when I get him home.  I promise!!!

Thanks for understanding!  Night! Night!

Hard Day!

My day started out great.  I had a good session with Anna and when I got home I defrosted chicken to cook for my salads.  I did talk to Stacey a couple of times this morning and things seem to be moving a long for her which made me happy.

I did find the omelet I made this morning, as delicious as it was with ham and cheese had sugar in it.  I'll be so glad when I can shop again.  Bless Mark's heart, he keeps forgetting to check for sugar in things.  It is in nearly everything!

As I was making lunch Stacey called from T-Mobile and she was having a hard time transferring her phone to our family plan.  I thought I got everything handled the other day but apparently I didn't.  Long story short I spent over 2 hours on the phone being transferred all around.  I think we got everything done!  Fingers crossed!

As I sat waiting for Mark to get home media chair #2 broke from my weight.  I've been crying off and on all night long asking myself how did I get back here, questioning myself if I can do this again or not.  I tried to watch Extreme Make-Over Weight Loss Edition and it just made we cry more.  I feel so hopeless.  This weight robs us so much!  I hate it!  I'm sick of it!

Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day!

Life Happens!

I have had to spend some time helping our daughter.  She is going through so much right now and I feel like I need to be there for her!  If you will keep Stacey and Eyan in your prayers I would appreciate it!

Saturday night Mark had his 2nd sleep study and when I picked him up on Sunday morning we went to breakfast at I-Hop!  Yes I said I-Hop!  You may be asking what am I doing giving into going to such a place!  I took my Truvia for my coffee and I figured I could eat a omelet and things would be o.k.  WRONG!  Did you know that they put their buttermilk pancake batter in their omelets?  I happened to notice this on their menu.  I thought that I was screwed.  I asked the waitress if she could make sure that they did not add that pancake batter to my omelet and she said that she would.  Yea!  Mark ate the pancakes that came with it but I will have to admit that it really bothered me. I wanted them!  I had a ham and cheese omelet with jalapeno jack cheese.  I didn't add any veggies. I just wanted meat and cheese.  It was good and I could tell that they didn't add the batter to it because you could tell that they had a hard time turning it.  I did enjoy eating out but dang I wanted those pancakes!

When we got home Mark ran some errands and I watched some TV and talked briefly to Stacey.  For lunch that afternoon I had the new Strawberry Chicken Salad from Wendy's and I put my own oil and vinegar on it.  It was so good but I will say they way over do it on the lettuce!  The dressing sounded like it was going to be o.k. because it was an apple oil and vinegar.  It had sugar in the ingredients so I pitched it in the trash.

Mark did not sleep very well at all at the sleep center.  He slept most of the afternoon and I fell asleep as well.  We had chef food as well that night and we did watch Rising Star and used my phone to vote for people. That was a lot of fun!  We did call it a early night because we both were tired.

This morning I woke up feeling really good and I was so glad.  I have really had to battle not feeling well, craving sugar and carbs but I have fought and it is all easing up.  It has been worth the flight because I weighed this morning and I was down to 390.2 lbs.  I started at 397.6 lbs.  I was so happy!  I also have not taken any fluid pills this week so I bet I have lost more.  I plan to take a very light fluid pill as my legs are stinging a little.

I really want to get off of the fluid pills and I think that I can.  My sodium level on this way of eating is around 12-1300 and that is great!  We ate Italian food last Sunday so I know that is what I'm feeling in my legs.  Won't that be great to rid myself of 2 meds?  I hope this works out.  At least maybe I will only have to take the lightest one every great once in a while.  Oh God!  I want this so bad!

I was on the phone all day between my 2 best friends and Stacey.  I did have to go out and get some banking done for her so she will be ready to meet with her attorney later this week. Tonight we enjoyed some more Chef food and I watched The Bachelor and we are about ready to go to bed.

I did have a strange eating day.  I did not eat breakfast but I did have two small snacks for cheese with almonds and that seemed to do me well. When I was out doing the banking I ran through Chick-Fil-A and tried their new grilled nuggets.  I got 12 of them since that is all that I was going to eat and let me tell you they were loaded with sodium.  Since watching my sodium I have really become sensitive to the taste of salt!

Tomorrow morning I have Anna and nothing much going on except being here for Stacey.  I do need to grill some chicken to have for my salads and/or cook up some of our frozen veggies. Wednesday I see the Weight Management Dr. again and on Thursday we are taking our little Ernie to see a Board Certified Vet.  His ACL (?) level in his liver is still high.  We have got to see what is going on with our little boy.  Pray for him and me as we are very close and I love him so much!  I'm scared to death for my little fur baby!  Friday I'm meeting Doreen for lunch.  I haven't seen her in a while.  I miss her reading the blog.  I don't know why she stopped.  Probably because I have been so inconsistent.  I appreciate those of you who have hung in there.

I know that I promised a new recipe but I will have to wait till I get the computer back and then I will post it. So hang in there!

If any of you are doing low-carbs I need some food ideas and recipe.  Please share if you can!

Thanks!

Arg!!!

So...yesterday my computer was taken back to the store because they thought they could fix it pretty quickly.  Today they called and told me they were going to overnight it to their service center and it would be 5-7 business days before it comes back.  Did you hear bad ugly words flying around this afternoon?  It was me!

Actually, yesterday was a somewhat better day on this new lifestyle.  I'm getting bored with it and that is scary, so I must spend some time trying to find some low-carb recipes.  I told the chef to bring us the same menu and last night I was wondering if I could do another 8 days.  I have to fight it through.

I haven't weighed yet, however I sure can feel in my body that this weight is flying off.  I'm tracking right now with My Fitness Pal and it is a pretty neat App.  Tons better than WW's E-Tools.  I'm just going to track until I see the Dr. on Wednesday.  I did weigh on Monday at 397.6 lbs.  So we will see.  I've been in the bathroom a lot yesterday as my body is either rebelling or purging!  The good news is that I have not taken a fluid pill all week and I feel like I don't need to...yet!  My Fitness Pal tells me that my sodium intake is under 1200 and that is really good!

The one thing that is really bugging me is it is showing that what I'm eating is over 50% fat!  That is flipping me out just a bit.  I know some is coming from meat and I'm eating 2 ounces of cheese a day, a half of a avocado and 2 teaspoons of olive oil.  I wonder what the Dr. will have to say about that.  I am trying to lower it too!

The maids came today and I love it when they leave!  I love a clean house!  We had a quiet evening and went to bed early.

Today I got up early, I didn't sleep well last night at all!  In fact the last few nights have been rough and I miss my 6-7 hours.  Praying that tonight will be better.  I also woke up with stiffness in my neck, shoulders, arms and back.  I didn't feel like doing anything and I didn't.  I did stay with the eating plan and I didn't have to battle hunger today so that was good.

Mark had to work this morning and he did a Costco run this afternoon.  He had Part II to his sleep study tonight so I took him.  I'll have to get early to go back to pick him up.  Tomorrow I need to do some prepping for breakfast and lunch and Mark said he would help me.  We'll see.  He also bought a new 55" LED Samsung for the media room so he is anxious to put our 50" in the living room cabinet and get this new one set up.  Men and their toys!

I'm not going to post the recipe tonight.  I am typing with two fingers on this stupid little net book.  Maybe tomorrow I can get it done!  I also have some websites to share.  These ladies have really confirmed what I'm doing is the way to go.  Also my niece Ceslyn told me that there is a good story in one of the recent Time Magazine entitled "Butter".  I'm looking for it.  She said it straightened her back up from getting lax on her low-carb lifestyle.

Well, my hands are getting tired and I'm ready for bed...So that's all for now!

Frustrated!!!!

Got my computer back, right?  Well...I have a few choice words about Geek Squad.  They are great for getting viruses off your computer but they suck at repairing them.  I took this thing in because I had some sticking keys, the power cord would fall out of the computer.  While they had it they replaced the keyboard, gave me a new power cord and replaced the mother board.  So they ship it back to the store and Mark goes and picks it up.  I try signing on to the internet and the certificates were invalid, I call the Geeks, come to find out the date set in the computer was in 2012.  Fixed that got on the Internet.  Yesterday morning I get a pop up stating that my Windows is not genuine!  What?  I called the Geeks and the agent asked if I had the product code which I don't because this computer doesn't have a disk drive and I did not get the original disks ASUS used to put the software on.  They told me I would have to take it to the store.  Called the store and I got this very rude woman who told me I would have to leave it and right now their backup is 7 days!  I blew my cork!  I called the Geeks back and got another agent who tried to help me and he said and showed me through my computer that I would have to pay $109 for a new key.  I blew my cork further!  I then got a on-line chat with a agent from ASUS thinking they could give me product code by the serial number.  No.  THE FLIPPING PRODUCT CODE IS ON A STICKER ON THE FREAKING POWER CORD THAT THEY REPLACED AND IS PROBABLY IN THE LOCAL DUMP!!!!! Sorry for yelling!  There was nothing they could do but told me about buying a Windows 7 recovery disk from Microsoft and using a external drive do a recovery to get a legit product key.  I'm surprised I didn't have the big one!  I called the Geeks back and went through a different department and finally got some so-called possible help.  This morning I have to call the store manager at Best Buy and tell him the story and see if they can find my original power cord with my product code or replace my computer with a new one!  I think I deserve a new one!  Rant over!

So if I go missing a few days you will know I'm back to no computer.  We'll see.

So Sunday I spent most of the day getting food in the house to start this new life style.  I about ruined my knees and ankles doing it.  I hate weighing nearly 400 lbs again!

Monday was hell as I had to cook breakfast with sore knees and ankles, prep things for salads for lunch including deboning a chicken.  I didn't eat lunch till nearly 4:00 and nearly in tears from the pain.  Thank God we had dinner prepared in the frig by the Chef!  My back also kills me standing after awhile.  I guess it is my big butt pulling on it!  I promise you I would not wish this weight on my worst enemy!  It is awful but I accept responsibility for it!

Tuesday I was going to go and see Anna, our daughter called early in the morning having problems and ran me late for my appointment.  Luckily Anna had an appointment the next day so I took it.  I spent most of the day in the bathroom!  It was either this body purging itself or it was one of my heart meds that we re-started.  I called the cardiologist only to find out he is out of town but calling in once a day for messages.  Also on Tuesday I was so hungry and had to fight like a crazy person not to eat protein all day.  I made it!

Wednesday I woke up and felt great!  Got to see Anna and we had a good session.  All about Mike...remember him?  He's someone who needs to get out of my life as he is driving me nuts!  I enjoyed my salad at lunch with mixed lettuce, red onion, fresh blueberries, chopped chicken, cheese, avocado and oil & vinegar dressing!  YUM!  I was OK all day till it got close to dinner time and the hunger hit but I made it!

Yesterday was the day from hell with the computer issues, I woke up with a bad headache and I was so hungry I was slightly nauseated!  All day long I felt like crap.  I just did not know what to do!  I posted on Facebook how I was feeling and I was shocked to find out how many friends I have eating low-carb/Paleo!  Apparently there is a 2 week adjustment and you start feeling good.  It must be the sugar withdrawal that is making it so bad as most low-carb people don't totally give up sugar and artificial sweeteners!  I made it yesterday and was so very proud of myself for hanging in there!

For today...I'm not going to say a word.  You'll have to check back tomorrow to see what my day is like in more detail as this new lifestyle unfolds!

See you tomorrow!  I have a recipe to share as well!

Sidenote:  I talk with the Best Buy store manager and he wants it brought in to see if they can fix it and if not he wants to overnight it back to the service center as a rush.  Get this 7-10 days once they receive it.  If the service center can't find it embedded in the computer then we will go from there.  So...As The Computer Turns!!!!!!