The Last Two Days...AWFUL!!!!!

This is going to be short. Yesterday I decided to complain to AT&T about the speed of my Internet.  In less than 30 minutes the Agent I was talking to, set me up for U-Verse Internet and disconnected my home phone which cut my Internet!!!!

I promptly called back desperately trying to get it restored.  I spent 6 hours on the phone talking to agent to agent to departments trying to get it all back and they could not do it even getting management involved.  The best they could do was move my installation date up to Monday afternoon which will cause me to have to cancel my dental appointment.

That isn't it, there's more!

I have to say here, that I did get my computer back from the Geek Squad. I can't tell you the frustration after not having it for nearly a month and not being able to use it. I can't even describe the anger that I had. The good news is I didn't binge and I did not get off my new eating plan.

This morning I woke up and I decided to use my cell phone as a hotspot I got on the web and mess around on Facebook and other sites that I like to visit. Mark had decided to take one of the broken Media chairs to Lazy Boy. Just before he left Mike called and I told him about what happened with AT&T and he brought to my attention that without a phone are home security system was not being monitored. I just flipped out!

I then tried calling AT&T to see if there was anything they could do. OF COURSE NOT!!!!!   I then got so angry that I started calling places like Verizon, Comcast and our security monitoring company.

I also need to insert here that today is our 28th wedding anniversary. 28 years ago our wedding also fell on a Saturday and it was our hope to have a very special day together. Can you see that it wasn't going to happen? I can tell you that we even didn't go out to dinner tonight. No celebration today and I can't tell you how that gripes my butt.

So, when I talked to our security monitoring company, they could offer as Internet along with monitoring of our house without a phone line. They were even able to offer us a bundle package. While I was talking to the agent she was even able to get an installment time for Tuesday. So, about 30 minutes to an hour later she calls back and for some reason the installation department call her back and said they could not squeeze me in on Tuesday. The earliest they could get to me is... July 11!!! I can't tell you how I lost it. The poor girl new it was our anniversary and it really upset her when I started crying and she begged me just stop and to enjoy my day and I just couldn't. So what she promised me is that on Monday morning as soon as she gets in she will talk to her manager and get her manager to speak to the Installation Manager to get my installation escalated under the circumstances I have been a long term security customer and right now I don't have the ability to have the home monitored. That's my only hope at this point.

So Here I am again this time dictating on my samsung galaxy s5 on my data package to my phone which is unlimited. I have very limited data on my hotspot so I need to save it for things I need to do on my computer.

On Friday I did have a great time having lunch and catching up with Doreen. Its always good to see her. I was able to find something on the menu that would work for my new eating plan.

So where does this leave us until I get internet service back? I will try to post on this blog that I can tell you this isn't the easiest thing to do and maybe I'll get used to it. So keep checking back and I will try my best to keep you updated.

We're going to try tomorrow the start fresh and celebrate our 28th wedding anniversary. Our dinner plans and reservations are at a place we have never gone and it will work perfectly for me. The name of the restaurant is Fogo De Chao.

I did cry a lot today because I had been looking forward to this celebration and now my eyes are foggy, dry and they hurt.  It is almost 11:00 here so I'm going to end this and try to calm down some more so I can sleep.

Excuse the typos!  Love ya!

Good News and Today...Busy and Tired!

The Dr.'s scale showed a bigger loss than mine.  Her's said that I've lost 17.5 lbs.  Mine says 13.2.  I think that I will stick to my scale because it is digital and it is the scale that weighed me the same as the expensive ones used at Weight Watchers.  Her's was one of the regular Dr. scales on carpet.  Anyway I have lost a lot in 9 days and the Dr. was so happy!  I did find out that I have been doing exactly what she expected me to do.  No bread, pasta, rice and potatoes, no sugar, no artificial sweeteners except Ste-via and no oil except Olive Oil so that also means no butter.  Trust me it can be done and I've been o.k. other than the withdrawals.  She also has me eating low glycemic and maybe this weekend I will do a post with nothing but the information sheets that she gave me if you think that you would like to follow it.

I showed her the True Lemon drink additive like Crystal Light that I have been using that does have 1 gram of sugar in it. She said that it was fine. I also got approval to use My Fit Foods Protein Supplement Mix which I really do like that is sweetened with Ste-via.  I told her that I had gotten my Diet Coke Zero down to 1 a day at dinner and I was going to try really hard to give it up this weekend.  I told her that I just enjoy it with my dinner.  She asked me when I had it did it make me hungry in the evening and have cravings and I told her "No."  She told me that I could have 1 a day as long as it didn't cause cravings or increase my hunger.

She did look over the 9 days that I tracked on My Fitness Pal and was very impressed with how I was eating.  She told me that I did not have to track any more. She agreed that tracking is not good for people who have Eating Disorders because it makes too much focus on food.  I also told her that I got so focused on calories that I stopped eating mindfully and she did get a little excited about that and told me "No, you must continue eating mindfully!  It is important to just eat enough to satisfy and not be stuffed or full."  I told her that I would start doing that and with no tracking and weighing and measuring some things that I would focus more on that.  She doesn't want me to weigh and measure anything.  She said if you eat like you have been mindfully you will still have good weight loss each time we see each other.  So for the next two weeks I'll eat like I have, forget that my nutrition shows that my fat is 50% of what I'm eating but she said it is perfectly fine because it is healthy fats.  Olive Oil and Avocados plus the trace amounts in the other things.  This is real different from anything I have ever done.

I did talk to her about our anniversary being this weekend and how I have been craving a potato.  I asked her if I could have a few bites of potato this weekend and she said yes.  She said to me "Laura, this is not a diet but a lifestyle.  I didn't take away things to make you miserable but I had to so that you would become sensitive as to how carbs affect you a little at a time."  She went on to tell me that if the potato made me want to have potatoes the next day and/or I felt bad after eating them such as a drop in my blood sugar that we would have to say good-bye to potatoes.  She  said if I eat them without any affect to how my body reacts or how I feel then "on occasion" I could enjoy a few bites of potatoes.  The same with Ezekiel bread.  I can try it doing the same way.  If it works for me then I can't have it every day but every once in a while.  So these are the two foods that we are going to test the next 2 weeks and go from there.  She really knows her stuff.  I really do like her.  So let's see what happens over the next two weeks making these changes.  I'm so pleased with her approach and knowledge I really wish that I could have found her years ago!

Today we took Ernie in to see the Specialist and my baby has a nodule on his liver.  It is only 9 mm and is smooth and not rough edged so that is good news so far.  They are doing some extensive blood work on him including some of it going to Texas A&M to their Veterinary Clinic.  They did start him on an antibiotic to see if it would help the liver counts due to inflammation.  He will have to go back in 2 weeks when he finishes them for a repeat of blood work.  Depending on this first batch of blood work they may want to do an aspiration of his liver in the near future but they didn't feel it is necessary at this point.

They did tell us that our Vet uses a Equestrian blood machine which is used for horses.  They can give you some false readings.  The are retesting him on a small animal machine which will be more accurate.  The Specialist wasn't so concerned that his ACL count was up but at one point his Hemocrit level was high and that says more about the liver than the ACL.  We really did like this Specialist it was more like talking to a Dr. than a Vet!  His pancreas, adrenal glands, gall bladder all look good.  The liver looks good with the exception of this nodule.  His left kidney is showing some age but his right kidney is perfect.  So if we can figure out this liver problem then our Ernie is in pretty good shape for a 10 year old little boy.  Don't faint be we spent nearly $1,100 today!  YIKES!

My ankles and knees hurt from all the walking, riding in the car and all that stuff.  I also saw pictures today on Facebook showing that Downsize construction is progressing and will open next month.  I can't wait to get started there.  I know that is going to help my transformation along with this Eating Specialist and the work that I have done with the Eating Disorder Team.

Tomorrow, I'm going to have lunch with Doreen.  That is if I can walk!

Wish me luck!

Bad Morning/Fantastic Afternoon

Note:  I woke up at 4:00 this morning in A. Fib.  I felt bad for a while this morning.  I met with the Weight Management Dr. this after with all kinds of good news.  When I have A. Fib it just exhausts me.  Forgive me for not writing tonight.  In the morning we have to take my sweet Ernie to see a Board Certified Veterinarian Internist about his elevated liver counts.  I'm so worried about my little boy.  Please send prayers for him and me.  We are so close and I can't stand the thought something be seriously wrong with my baby.  I will write about today when I get him home.  I promise!!!

Thanks for understanding!  Night! Night!

Hard Day!

My day started out great.  I had a good session with Anna and when I got home I defrosted chicken to cook for my salads.  I did talk to Stacey a couple of times this morning and things seem to be moving a long for her which made me happy.

I did find the omelet I made this morning, as delicious as it was with ham and cheese had sugar in it.  I'll be so glad when I can shop again.  Bless Mark's heart, he keeps forgetting to check for sugar in things.  It is in nearly everything!

As I was making lunch Stacey called from T-Mobile and she was having a hard time transferring her phone to our family plan.  I thought I got everything handled the other day but apparently I didn't.  Long story short I spent over 2 hours on the phone being transferred all around.  I think we got everything done!  Fingers crossed!

As I sat waiting for Mark to get home media chair #2 broke from my weight.  I've been crying off and on all night long asking myself how did I get back here, questioning myself if I can do this again or not.  I tried to watch Extreme Make-Over Weight Loss Edition and it just made we cry more.  I feel so hopeless.  This weight robs us so much!  I hate it!  I'm sick of it!

Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day!

Life Happens!

I have had to spend some time helping our daughter.  She is going through so much right now and I feel like I need to be there for her!  If you will keep Stacey and Eyan in your prayers I would appreciate it!

Saturday night Mark had his 2nd sleep study and when I picked him up on Sunday morning we went to breakfast at I-Hop!  Yes I said I-Hop!  You may be asking what am I doing giving into going to such a place!  I took my Truvia for my coffee and I figured I could eat a omelet and things would be o.k.  WRONG!  Did you know that they put their buttermilk pancake batter in their omelets?  I happened to notice this on their menu.  I thought that I was screwed.  I asked the waitress if she could make sure that they did not add that pancake batter to my omelet and she said that she would.  Yea!  Mark ate the pancakes that came with it but I will have to admit that it really bothered me. I wanted them!  I had a ham and cheese omelet with jalapeno jack cheese.  I didn't add any veggies. I just wanted meat and cheese.  It was good and I could tell that they didn't add the batter to it because you could tell that they had a hard time turning it.  I did enjoy eating out but dang I wanted those pancakes!

When we got home Mark ran some errands and I watched some TV and talked briefly to Stacey.  For lunch that afternoon I had the new Strawberry Chicken Salad from Wendy's and I put my own oil and vinegar on it.  It was so good but I will say they way over do it on the lettuce!  The dressing sounded like it was going to be o.k. because it was an apple oil and vinegar.  It had sugar in the ingredients so I pitched it in the trash.

Mark did not sleep very well at all at the sleep center.  He slept most of the afternoon and I fell asleep as well.  We had chef food as well that night and we did watch Rising Star and used my phone to vote for people. That was a lot of fun!  We did call it a early night because we both were tired.

This morning I woke up feeling really good and I was so glad.  I have really had to battle not feeling well, craving sugar and carbs but I have fought and it is all easing up.  It has been worth the flight because I weighed this morning and I was down to 390.2 lbs.  I started at 397.6 lbs.  I was so happy!  I also have not taken any fluid pills this week so I bet I have lost more.  I plan to take a very light fluid pill as my legs are stinging a little.

I really want to get off of the fluid pills and I think that I can.  My sodium level on this way of eating is around 12-1300 and that is great!  We ate Italian food last Sunday so I know that is what I'm feeling in my legs.  Won't that be great to rid myself of 2 meds?  I hope this works out.  At least maybe I will only have to take the lightest one every great once in a while.  Oh God!  I want this so bad!

I was on the phone all day between my 2 best friends and Stacey.  I did have to go out and get some banking done for her so she will be ready to meet with her attorney later this week. Tonight we enjoyed some more Chef food and I watched The Bachelor and we are about ready to go to bed.

I did have a strange eating day.  I did not eat breakfast but I did have two small snacks for cheese with almonds and that seemed to do me well. When I was out doing the banking I ran through Chick-Fil-A and tried their new grilled nuggets.  I got 12 of them since that is all that I was going to eat and let me tell you they were loaded with sodium.  Since watching my sodium I have really become sensitive to the taste of salt!

Tomorrow morning I have Anna and nothing much going on except being here for Stacey.  I do need to grill some chicken to have for my salads and/or cook up some of our frozen veggies. Wednesday I see the Weight Management Dr. again and on Thursday we are taking our little Ernie to see a Board Certified Vet.  His ACL (?) level in his liver is still high.  We have got to see what is going on with our little boy.  Pray for him and me as we are very close and I love him so much!  I'm scared to death for my little fur baby!  Friday I'm meeting Doreen for lunch.  I haven't seen her in a while.  I miss her reading the blog.  I don't know why she stopped.  Probably because I have been so inconsistent.  I appreciate those of you who have hung in there.

I know that I promised a new recipe but I will have to wait till I get the computer back and then I will post it. So hang in there!

If any of you are doing low-carbs I need some food ideas and recipe.  Please share if you can!

Thanks!

Arg!!!

So...yesterday my computer was taken back to the store because they thought they could fix it pretty quickly.  Today they called and told me they were going to overnight it to their service center and it would be 5-7 business days before it comes back.  Did you hear bad ugly words flying around this afternoon?  It was me!

Actually, yesterday was a somewhat better day on this new lifestyle.  I'm getting bored with it and that is scary, so I must spend some time trying to find some low-carb recipes.  I told the chef to bring us the same menu and last night I was wondering if I could do another 8 days.  I have to fight it through.

I haven't weighed yet, however I sure can feel in my body that this weight is flying off.  I'm tracking right now with My Fitness Pal and it is a pretty neat App.  Tons better than WW's E-Tools.  I'm just going to track until I see the Dr. on Wednesday.  I did weigh on Monday at 397.6 lbs.  So we will see.  I've been in the bathroom a lot yesterday as my body is either rebelling or purging!  The good news is that I have not taken a fluid pill all week and I feel like I don't need to...yet!  My Fitness Pal tells me that my sodium intake is under 1200 and that is really good!

The one thing that is really bugging me is it is showing that what I'm eating is over 50% fat!  That is flipping me out just a bit.  I know some is coming from meat and I'm eating 2 ounces of cheese a day, a half of a avocado and 2 teaspoons of olive oil.  I wonder what the Dr. will have to say about that.  I am trying to lower it too!

The maids came today and I love it when they leave!  I love a clean house!  We had a quiet evening and went to bed early.

Today I got up early, I didn't sleep well last night at all!  In fact the last few nights have been rough and I miss my 6-7 hours.  Praying that tonight will be better.  I also woke up with stiffness in my neck, shoulders, arms and back.  I didn't feel like doing anything and I didn't.  I did stay with the eating plan and I didn't have to battle hunger today so that was good.

Mark had to work this morning and he did a Costco run this afternoon.  He had Part II to his sleep study tonight so I took him.  I'll have to get early to go back to pick him up.  Tomorrow I need to do some prepping for breakfast and lunch and Mark said he would help me.  We'll see.  He also bought a new 55" LED Samsung for the media room so he is anxious to put our 50" in the living room cabinet and get this new one set up.  Men and their toys!

I'm not going to post the recipe tonight.  I am typing with two fingers on this stupid little net book.  Maybe tomorrow I can get it done!  I also have some websites to share.  These ladies have really confirmed what I'm doing is the way to go.  Also my niece Ceslyn told me that there is a good story in one of the recent Time Magazine entitled "Butter".  I'm looking for it.  She said it straightened her back up from getting lax on her low-carb lifestyle.

Well, my hands are getting tired and I'm ready for bed...So that's all for now!

Frustrated!!!!

Got my computer back, right?  Well...I have a few choice words about Geek Squad.  They are great for getting viruses off your computer but they suck at repairing them.  I took this thing in because I had some sticking keys, the power cord would fall out of the computer.  While they had it they replaced the keyboard, gave me a new power cord and replaced the mother board.  So they ship it back to the store and Mark goes and picks it up.  I try signing on to the internet and the certificates were invalid, I call the Geeks, come to find out the date set in the computer was in 2012.  Fixed that got on the Internet.  Yesterday morning I get a pop up stating that my Windows is not genuine!  What?  I called the Geeks and the agent asked if I had the product code which I don't because this computer doesn't have a disk drive and I did not get the original disks ASUS used to put the software on.  They told me I would have to take it to the store.  Called the store and I got this very rude woman who told me I would have to leave it and right now their backup is 7 days!  I blew my cork!  I called the Geeks back and got another agent who tried to help me and he said and showed me through my computer that I would have to pay $109 for a new key.  I blew my cork further!  I then got a on-line chat with a agent from ASUS thinking they could give me product code by the serial number.  No.  THE FLIPPING PRODUCT CODE IS ON A STICKER ON THE FREAKING POWER CORD THAT THEY REPLACED AND IS PROBABLY IN THE LOCAL DUMP!!!!! Sorry for yelling!  There was nothing they could do but told me about buying a Windows 7 recovery disk from Microsoft and using a external drive do a recovery to get a legit product key.  I'm surprised I didn't have the big one!  I called the Geeks back and went through a different department and finally got some so-called possible help.  This morning I have to call the store manager at Best Buy and tell him the story and see if they can find my original power cord with my product code or replace my computer with a new one!  I think I deserve a new one!  Rant over!

So if I go missing a few days you will know I'm back to no computer.  We'll see.

So Sunday I spent most of the day getting food in the house to start this new life style.  I about ruined my knees and ankles doing it.  I hate weighing nearly 400 lbs again!

Monday was hell as I had to cook breakfast with sore knees and ankles, prep things for salads for lunch including deboning a chicken.  I didn't eat lunch till nearly 4:00 and nearly in tears from the pain.  Thank God we had dinner prepared in the frig by the Chef!  My back also kills me standing after awhile.  I guess it is my big butt pulling on it!  I promise you I would not wish this weight on my worst enemy!  It is awful but I accept responsibility for it!

Tuesday I was going to go and see Anna, our daughter called early in the morning having problems and ran me late for my appointment.  Luckily Anna had an appointment the next day so I took it.  I spent most of the day in the bathroom!  It was either this body purging itself or it was one of my heart meds that we re-started.  I called the cardiologist only to find out he is out of town but calling in once a day for messages.  Also on Tuesday I was so hungry and had to fight like a crazy person not to eat protein all day.  I made it!

Wednesday I woke up and felt great!  Got to see Anna and we had a good session.  All about Mike...remember him?  He's someone who needs to get out of my life as he is driving me nuts!  I enjoyed my salad at lunch with mixed lettuce, red onion, fresh blueberries, chopped chicken, cheese, avocado and oil & vinegar dressing!  YUM!  I was OK all day till it got close to dinner time and the hunger hit but I made it!

Yesterday was the day from hell with the computer issues, I woke up with a bad headache and I was so hungry I was slightly nauseated!  All day long I felt like crap.  I just did not know what to do!  I posted on Facebook how I was feeling and I was shocked to find out how many friends I have eating low-carb/Paleo!  Apparently there is a 2 week adjustment and you start feeling good.  It must be the sugar withdrawal that is making it so bad as most low-carb people don't totally give up sugar and artificial sweeteners!  I made it yesterday and was so very proud of myself for hanging in there!

For today...I'm not going to say a word.  You'll have to check back tomorrow to see what my day is like in more detail as this new lifestyle unfolds!

See you tomorrow!  I have a recipe to share as well!

Sidenote:  I talk with the Best Buy store manager and he wants it brought in to see if they can fix it and if not he wants to overnight it back to the service center as a rush.  Get this 7-10 days once they receive it.  If the service center can't find it embedded in the computer then we will go from there.  So...As The Computer Turns!!!!!!

Got My Computer Back!!!!

You have to know that I'm yelling and screaming!  Happy Dancin' on the inside because know I can post daily again!

I'm bushed so I'm hitting the hay and I will be out here early in the morning to do a final catch-up and we can rock and roll on this journey!

Good News!

I'm sorry I haven't been out here, but my heart started acting up on Wednesday. I got up and I was in A. Fib.  I spent all morning long trying to figure out if I needed to go the ER. I called my cardiologist early in the morning and they paged him twice and he did not return our phone call. Come to find out he was in surgery. When his office open I called and talk to his nurse and told her what was going on and she told me that it would be up to me whether or not to go to the emergency room. I just can't tell you how much this old bat drives me crazy. She needs to retire! I've been called my Rheumatologist office about my remicade and told them what was going on and they told me that I would not be able to have my treatment without a release from the cardiologist. So I called the cardiologist back talk to the stupid nurse told her what I needed and told her that I could go and get my treatment if I could get there by 2 o'clock in the afternoon. She tells me she doesn't know when she'll be able to talk to the doctor because they have a lot of patients to see once he gets in. She warned me that she may not be able to talk to him till tomorrow. Do I even have to write about how furious I was? You can only imagine the verbage coming out of my mouth. After I calm down I called them back and talk to a girl who is kind of like their office manager and told her all that has happened that morning and she about blew her stack like I was doing. She told me as soon as the Dr got in she would talk to him and call me back. The Dr called me about 45 minutes later and apologized for not returning my call early in the morning and told me why and then told me that I could have my remicade while being in A. Fib. I told him that I needed someone to fax my Rheumatologist the clearance. He repeated to Tracy the girl I talk to instructions to fax office and gave her the number that I gave him. He even told me that he wanted me to see another heart specialist about finding the medication that would work for my A. Fib.  So guess where I'm heading to?

I got dressed like a crazy person and headed to get my remicade about 1 o'clock. I got there about 10 minutes till 2 and there was a long line people checking in with only two out of 5 people working the front desk. How crazy is that? It took them 25 minutes to get me processed. Luckily the infusion nurses were kind enough to let me have my remicade being that late.

When I got through with the infusion I was stuck in rush hour traffic to get back home. It took me almost 2 hours. Sometimes I just hate living here! On the way home Mike called and I'm telling you I'm getting real sick of him and about to tell him where to go fly a kite! I have never seen such a piece of work. I don't know if y'all have ever been around someone who demands to have the last say and to always be right! I swear add being obnoxious and you have Mike. After nearly 10 years I have about had enough. He needs to fly away and bug someone else. He causes me way too much stress! Anyway, while talking to him I went into A. Fib. again! Luckily this time it didn't last but a couple of hours.

So that was Wednesday.

Thursday was my birthday.  It was a quiet day and I heard from a lot of friends and I just didn't make the time to get out here before I went into A.Fib again. Mark was going to take me out for steak dinner but I just didn't feel like going so he went to a restaurant down the street and brought home some fried shrimp for us to split. It was very good. Luckily around bedtime my heart was back to be beating normally.

Friday we were supposed to travel to see my friend Teresa from high school and with all that has been going on and the way I was feeling I cancelled the trip. It was so hard for me to do because I was anxious to be able to see her and she was super excited about us coming. I really hated disappointing her but I know pretty quickly once I start this new eating plan then I'll be in better shape with my heart and for traveling.

I ended up meeting Mark for lunch, and then I came home and I wanted to nap that my niece Meredith called. Everybody in the family with the exception of Mark and I were invited up to my brother's Lake house 4 Father's Day.  Even though we had plans to be out of town I was a bit upset with my brother four not remembering my birthday. But he could call his daughter on my birthday to have dinner and he could called my parents  to ask them up to the lake for the weekend. Unfortunately I called to make sure my parents made it safely and I ended up going off on my dad in regards can my brother and his thoughtlessness. I'm so done with him! I was quite upset realizing how is it was affecting me after going through all the counseling. I just don't know why this hurts so bad!  Needless to say I didn't feel like celebrating my birthday again so Mark and I just stayed home. We've decided that we would go out tomorrow night and celebrate for sure!

The good news is that I got today is that my computer has been fixed by the Geek Squad and they are preparing to ship it back to me. So hopefully by the end of next week I won't be having to dictate these posts and leaving you having to read through the typos and run on sentences and paragraphs!  I have not even gone online to look at the posts, but I'm sure once I do I will be doing some major editing! LOL!

Till tomorrow... Be good!

Let me try this!

Woohoo! This just might work!

I just downloaded the blogger app on my samsung tablet and it will let me dictate my post. So let's see how this goes. Just know that I'm not going can try and make and a typo corrections.

Last Monday I met with a the new internist who is also board certified in weight management. I've learned some very interesting things from her. Now because of all the computer problems let's see if I can remember them all.

She told me that carbs have a lot to do with weight management and our metabolism. She told me that carbs also can cause inflammation in our bodies.  She approached me about giving up carbs and seen what it does to my body and my metabolism. So basically right now she has taken away bread, pasta, any kind of potatoes and any kind of rice. She told me eventually she will add them back but one at a time so that we can see how my body reacts to it. Interesting huh?

She told me that I could have protein any vegetables are fruit that are on the low glycemic list. She told me that I could have dairy on occasion like yogurt of course without sugar. That's the other thing she talked to me about is the effect sugar and all the processed foods and their other names such as high fructose corn syrup and such have on the body. All these names were on the handout that she gave me when I left her office. We had a discussion about artificial sweeteners and she told me to get off of those and only use stevia and agave syrup. She told me that artificial sweeteners have proven can make you crave more sweets. So there went my coke zero's.

We talked about the fact I have a chef and that I have gotten used to eating mindfully and I really like not having to worry weighing and measuring. She understood how I felt as I told her I had been working with an eating disorder team for almost a year and a half. She asked me who I worked with and I told her Woodland's Eating Disorder Clinic.  She told me that they were on her list of people who she wanted to speak with. She went on to tell me that she would like for me to keep my calories around 1200 to 1500 a day. I asked her how was I going to be able to track calories and eating mindfully? She told me that if I could truly practice mindful eating staying in that range should not be a problem. Frankly it kinda scared me! I told her then I would be willing keep track and weigh and measure for a short time but there was no way I wanted to get back into diet mentality as I have work so hard to get rid of it. She understood and told me she agreed and told me not to worry about it. I asked her if she wanted me to at least track what I was eating by using the app My Fitness Pal?  She told me that she would leave that up to me.

I had so many questions and so much more to talk to her about but I could tell my time was up as she told me she would give me some handouts to help me learn the different names of sugar and she told me to be vigilant about reading labels. I told her that my birthday was the 12th and that I wanted to celebrate it and then on the 13th I was going could be out of town visiting a friend I haven't seen since graduating high school. She told me to eat carefully until I got back and she would see me towards the end of the month so that I could have a full week of eating the way she wanted me to.

So I went and checked out and made my next appointment and I got home and started looking over the handout and I got so confused I had to put  them down and walk away and look at them later. I knew that we still had food to eat from the chef and I knew I had to gear up for this and I could tell you as time passed I really had to deal with my head not accepting this as a new diet but a new healthy way of eating. I think I have grasped that now.

So this week I got the chef on track so tomorrow she will be delivering grilled chicken, bake fish and grilled pork along with two veggie recipes that fit the guidelines that the doctor gave me. So here we go, a few sloppy days because of my birthday and then its Katie bar the door!

Well, this was quite an experience dictating this blog post and I can tell you I know I left some things out and I will try to straighten things out as I get going. At least now I can get my blogging done not be trying to figure out how to keep you up-to-date and not getting so far behind.

So check in tomorrow and there will be another post!

Driving Me Crazy!!!!

Not being able to get out here and post is driving me nuts.  This net-book is like typing at 10 wpm because it it so slow!

My network is ok but the old laptop still will not connect here.  Now I'm asking around to borrow someone's spare laptop!  Hang in there with me!  Please!  I'm charging my old iPad because I bought the keyboard for it.  I just don't know if it will be compatible to edit and post on blogger!  Keep your fingers crossed!

I have Remicade tomorrow so I won't be able to try till tomorrow night.

Arg!!!!!

Yikes!

ANOTHER UPDATE!!!!!!

What a day! Geek Squad worked on my computer all night long and most of the morning and it's still not fixed. so after that I setup my wireless network and I can't get anything to connect. I'm so frustrated! So again I'm out here on my galaxy s5 and trying to give you an update. I have so much to say and I wish that I could type on this phone but I'm lousy at two handed texting. So you can imagine the time it would take me to do a whole post.   My router or the little piece that sends out the signal may have gone bad. Mark is at his sleep study and tomorrow at 1:00 we are having company for lunch. Hopefully they will leave early and we can go to Best Buy and see if someone can help us get this fixed. Hang in there and just know I'm working hard to get this resolved.

The Sharing Of My Heart...

I decided that tonight I would not write about all that happened today.  It can wait till tomorrow.  Tonight I felt the need to share my heart after all that I have gone through.

Please, please, please do not ignore your weight problem.  I realize that there are many that don't have the excess weight that I do but no matter what, excess weight is bad!  BAD!

What it does your body as far as joints, the wear and tear on your internal organs.  What the Dr.'s are saying and have been saying is to get rid of it!  Please heed the call!!!

I don't want anyone to have to hear or go through what I have had to experience these last few months.  Do I feel different?  No.  I still in my mind feel like I still have time even though my Pulmonary Dr. and Cardiologist say that I have some but I don't have forever.

I'm not ready to die!  I'm sure you are not either and I fully realize that we are not guaranteed each day.  The good Lord can call us home at anytime in the way He chooses.  But do you want to really go because of the abuse that you have allowed food do to your body?  Food is not worth it!  Food does not fix things.  Food doesn't make things go away or situations get better.  Things will work out however God plans for them to.  Food will not fix it.  The destruction that we do by binge eating/overeating is really crazy.  Why are we doing it?  Why?  We just have to stop.  When those strong emotions come or anxiety set in figure out some questions that you can stop and ask yourself before you just run for the cookies and/or chips.  Some of my questions are simply.  Why am I wanting to do this?  Is this really smart?  Is it going to fix this situation?  How is this going to make me feel?  How am I going to feel an hour after I indulge?  How am I going to feel later in the day or evening and how am I going to feel the next day?  What else can I do to get rid of these feelings that I am dealing with?  Take a walk, write down the strong feelings of anger or anxiety and really look at them.  Clean out a drawer?  I know we all have them!  I'm just telling you doing this is what has stopped my binging!  It does not work and it doesn't change the outcome.  The outcome is going to be what it is going to be.

Processed foods are killing us and killing our kids.  They are evil, yet I do understand they are convenient but they are killing us!  If you are old enough to remember the stores of the 50's, 60's and 70's they were smaller and they were not filled with these types of foods.  We didn't have 50 or more types of canned tomatoes, tomato sauce etc.  We had only 2 or 3 and that was it.  Think about pasta?  Cookies?  I know that I don't need to preach and I don't want to.  I just want you to think about how much you give your life to food and to make you see that it is not worth it!

Am I perfect and have I arrived?  NO!!!! ABSOLUTELY NOT!!!!!  But I am getting better because I choose to stop just a few minutes and think before I react.  It is the best thing that you can ever do!  It is essential to win this battle.  I tell myself ever day, every meal "Food is fuel!"  It is nothing else and should be nothing else.  We need it to fuel our body's and nothing else.  What in the word have we come to and what in the world are we doing allowing the government and food industry do to us for the almighty dollar.  It is sick!

There is a new documentary out that I want to go see.  I want to encourage you to check it out.  The trailer to the movie really stopped me in my tracks and made this picture so much bigger.  The movie is entitled "Fed-Up"  We have over 6,000 items in our stores that have sugar in them.  We are killing ourselves.  Isn't it time to change gears?

I just don't want any one of my friends and I consider all who reads this a friend to have a Dr. come into a hospital room and tell them "You are going to die" and "I'm not sure that I can help you."  It was mean of that Dr. but deep down I know there was truth in it.  Our bodies are no designed to be big and overweight.  I'm sick of my feet, knees and back hurting.  I'm sick of not being able to get around.  I just hope and pray with every ounce of my being that I will have time to win this time.  I want it.  Only God knows if I will or not.  I hope He allows it as I will give him all the glory if He will spare my life once again.

I love each of you and I just beg and plead with you to think over these things.  Do some soul searching.  Look at the excuses you make.  How much do you love yourself and your families.  Don't they deserve the best of you that you can give?  Don't your kids deserve to be taught how to eat so that they will not have to share our battle.

Enough said.  Back to business!

Good post coming tomorrow!  I loved this new weight management Dr.  She is a Internist that is Board Certified in Weight Management  Boy she knows her stuff.

I have another sad announcement.  I'm crushed.

Let's Wrap This Up and Move on!

Obviously there has been a lot of time that has lapsed since all of this has happened.  My emotions have been all over the place and most days I am scared to death and worry if I can do it and if I have time to get this weight off once and for all.

After Stacey went home I struggled with A. Fib. every 3-4 days.  It was awful.  I hated the way it made me feel.  This went on for about a month when one day I was taking to a old high school friend who suffers with A. Fib. and we were talking about the flavored waters that she drinks.  I told her that all I drink is Coke Zero.  She flipped.  She told me that they were high in caffeine and sure enough I went and checked on the can and they had 35 grams of caffeine in each can!  I drink as many as 4-5 a day!  I thought Coke Zero meant sugar-free and caffeine free!  DUMB!  I got on-line and found that Coke made a Caffeine free version so I had Mark pick some up and you know what?  The A. Fib stopped!  I have not had any more A. Fib since I stopped drinking regular Coke Zero!

I had some problems with the Cardiologist and I thought that I was going to have to find a new one!  His office cancelled an appointment which left me without meds.  Come to find out they don't get the Dr.'s notes from the hospital stays until all the physicians attending the patient have dictated have done theirs.  Because of this the drugs that he prescribed in the hospital the office knew nothing about except we talked about them on several occasions.  Go figure!  They even had me come and pick up samples to blood thinners and never documented my chart!  On my last visit to see the cardiologist I tried to tell him all that I had been through I felt like he blew me off.  I was so upset that I called his office to see if he had a office manager to voice my concerns.  They didn't have one but the girl I talked to listened to me and I told her that I was thinking of finding someone else but that the hospital was close to my home and I didn't want to get one across town.  Not for my heart.  She was appauled that I had gone through so much and apparently she could see that my chart was not properly documented and she told me that she would personally talk to the Dr. and that I could expect better from the office.  Boy the next time I had to call the Dr., which happened to be last week, the nurse told me that she would talk to the Dr. and call me back.  I felt like I was having some bad side affects to the meds.  I couldn't tell if it was Crohn's or the meds  The Dr. called me back in less that 15 minutes to talk to me about it.  I feel a lot better about things now.

However, right now I'm not on any A. Fib. meds except for the blood thinners.  I'm having strange heart beats at time but hopefully we will be able to try some new meds in the next couple of days.  I've been off the meds since last Thursday and so far no A. Fib just a jumpy heart at times and my heart rate is in the 80's instead of the 70's which I don't like.

My last visit with the Pulmonary Dr. he took me off the oxygen during the day and stopped the breathing treatments but I now have an inhaler to use 4 times a day.  I still need oxygen at night and they have switched me from a C-Pap to a Bi-Pap and I hate it.  I'm not sleeping as well as I was and I called yesterday to tell them.  Hopefully today they will let me go back to the C-Pap machine.  I sure hope so!

While I was having the A. Fib issues I lost a total of 35 lbs.  Mindful eating does work.  The issue?  You have to do it!  I'm struggling and that is very scary to me.  I'm up about 8 lbs and I've got to get this going the other way.  I will.  I have to.

I have a post that I want to write to you but I will have to save it for another day.  Right now I need to go and get ready to go see my new Weight Management Internist that my Rheumatologist wants me to see.  We'll see how that goes.  I will write about that tonight and let you all know what this is going to be like.  I sincerely hope that she can help me.

I'm ready to get back to sharing my days and this recover/saving my life journey.  Never ever did I think that I would push this weight to this point.  Do or die!  Scary!

Wednesday!

I feel like I'm never going to get this done!

The Wednesday morning after getting out of the hospital, I woke up not feeling the greatest.  Stacey finally got up and she fixed us some breakfast and then it happened.  My heart started beating really funny so I checked the famous phone app and sure enough it was bouncing all over the place but was staying above 120.  I thought to myself, Oh no, here we go again!!!!!  

I called my cardiologist and told them what was going on and they calmly made me an appointment for 2:30 that afternoon.  Stacey and I knew that we were going to be home again and luckily she was o.k. with that.  I did get her to run to Walgreens and buy me one of those oxygen level/heart rate monitors that you can put on the end of your index finger like they use at the Dr.'s office.  It was good to see that the phone app was giving us numbers very close to the one she bought.  We just hung out and watched things and I felt tired and had no energy.  We just watched TV until it was time to go to the Dr.  Mark was meeting us there to find out what was going on.

Of course once I got there I had all the paperwork to fill out and finally the nurse called us to go back to a room to wait on the Dr.  They weighed me and I was down 17 lbs since I got out of the hospital.  I was barely eating  I was scared to!  I couldn't get the semi and Volkswagen out of my mind and the words "You are going to die"!

Once in the room the nurse went over my meds and then she did a EKG and laid it on the table for the Dr.  He came in the room and he started going over my hospital stay and the results of my Nuclear Stress test.  He wrote out a prescription and and handed it to me and at the same time started listening to my heart.  That didn't last long.  He took the prescription out of my hand and wadded it up and threw it away saying that he needed to get a EKG on me.  We all told me that the nurse had done it and laid it on the table in the room.  His laptop was sitting on top of it.  He then started taking a mile a minute telling me that I was in Atrial Fibrillation and how we could go about treating it.  He told me he could prescribe some meds and I could go home and I might be o.k.  He started explaining to me what A. Fib. was and that when the heart decided to return to a normal rhythm that I run the risk of throwing a clot in the heart, to the brain or to the lung.  He said the alternative was for me to go back to the hospital and be closely monitored and treated there.  I asked him what did he want for me to do and he told me that I won't want to hear it but he felt like I should go straight to Emergency, so I said that I would and while we checked out they gave me orders for the ER.  His office is attached to the hospital so this all happened really quick and there I was again being hooked up to a heart monitor, IV and chest x-rays.  While I was in the ER waiting for a room my heart went back to beating normally.  I guess I was very lucky because I had been taking Lovonox injections for years for blood clots in y legs and was on a maintenance dosage.

Mark went back to the office for about an hour and then went home to feed the cats.  Stacey stayed with me.  I was down in the ER till about 8:00 before they got a room ready for me.  I had no dinner and luckily Mark was going to Chick-Fil-A to get him and Stacey something for dinner so Stacey was able to catch him to bring me something as well.  It was kinda funny because Mark got to my room before we did but we all hit it within minutes of each other.  Mark had also brought me my C-Pap machine.  They stayed a while and helped me get setup for the night and there I was all over again.  I didn't know what to expect next!

Thursday morning my cardiologist came by and wanted me to get a hold of my Gastroenterologist to see if he would release me to take the new blood thinner Xarelto.  Well, I already had set up an appointment to see him the first of May to talk to him about gastric surgery and my Crohn's disease.  I thought it would be easy to get this taken care of.  My Cardiologist told me once I got his permission to take it to call his office and they would get me released to go home.  

Well, getting this done was not easy.  I found out that my Gastroenterologist had classified me as a new patient because he hadn't seen me in a while.  I had seen another Dr. in the practice back when I was in and out of the hospital with cellulitis and subsequent Crohn's flare-ups.  He had left the practice over a year ago so I had to start all over.  I was pissed.  I called the Cardiologist office and told them what was going on and Stacey and I just waited and waited and waited.  Dr. Mazur finally came by around 6:00 to give me two new prescriptions and told me to stop the Lovonox and take a 350 mg aspirin once a day.  He left and Mark arrived and we got everything packed up and I got my release from the hospital the second time.  Mark went ahead to feed the cats and Stacey and I went to get my new drugs and meet hims at home.  It took a couple of trip to different Walgreen's to find someone who had the drugs in stock.  We finally got home around 8:30 that night.  We managed some dinner and we all were tired.  

Stacey's grandfather on her mother's side of the family hadn't been doing well so her plans were to go and see him close to Austin for the day.  She didn't really want to go and leave me but I told her I would be fine and we could talk my phone on the way.  She went and she was glad that she did.  We made plans to have a good time just the 3 of us on Saturday before she had to drive back to Topeka.  I can't even put into words how much it meant to have her with me that week.  We really got close!  After years of being so torn apart it was just incredible to have all the time we had.  Healing in all kinds of ways.

Saturday, we had breakfast and then we did a little shopping to get me out moving and trust me as weak as I am not moving much over the last couple of years it was hard!!!!  I walked from the front of a Stein-mart store to the back looking at sunglasses for Stacey and shoes for me.  I did not think I was going to make it out of the store back to the car  They went and got me something cold to drink and then we hit Marshall's.  We looked for shoes and sunglasses again and we almost found me some shoes and we did score Stacey's new white sunglasses!  She had been looking forever for them!

We went home to freshen up and then we headed across town because we had made reservations at The Melting Pot for dinner.  We had so much fun cooking all the different fondues and just experiencing such a place together.  My heart started skipping around again but it calmed down.  We got home and sat up and talked for a while and then we hit the hay because Stacey had to get up and leave early the next morning.  I nearly cried myself to sleep because I didn't want her to go back home.

There's more...