Today I got up and knew that I had my appointment to see my oncologist that is long overdue from either her having to cancel or move my appointment or me having to cancel or move my appointment. Today I just could face having to stand in the shower to do my hair and drive and walk and sit and drive back home. I just couldn't bring myself to do it so I rescheduled the appointment for a couple of weeks.
I was pretty lazy today and spent most of the day on the computer. I did get Mark in to see the Dr. and I called our favorite salesman at Mitsubishi to apologize for forgetting our appointment last night. I may be getting a new car. I know, I have gotten a new car about every 14 months but this one we have been waiting for and it is due to hit in late May or early June. It is the new 2014 Mitsubishi Outlander and it is a new body style. Not sure if we will do it because we have to get enough money out of my lease in order to do so. This time we are going to buy the car outright. I'm torn as to what to do. I love the new one and Mark has promised me one with leather and all the bells and whistles but and this is a big BUT....I only drive to the Dr. and to the store or meet a friend for lunch so do I really need such a loaded up car? At the end of my lease in 3 years we will owe less than $10,000 for the car however if we buy the new loaded one it will probably cost us $20,000.00 +. I go back and forth with it. I think that I made too big of stink of Mark trading my Endeavor in on his fully loaded Galant. Is a car that important? A part of me thinks that the money needs to go into an investment. I know that I have more sense about cars than Mark does. There was nothing wrong with our 2005 Endeavor. It only had 63,000 miles on it and it was paid for. It took that trade plus $15,000 to get him in that Galant. When I get to really thinking about it like writing all of this I think that we just need to let it all go and keep my truck and move on. Don't you?
Tonight when it got time to cook dinner, I really did not want to do it because of the pain that I'm in. When I finally talked myself into getting up and dealing with it all my phone started ringing with one call after another after another. It was then 6:30 and I really didn't want to do it and I was so tempted to call Mark and have him bring home dinner and not tell Kathy. I had to tell "Ed" "Wait a minute buster, I am not about to start lying to Kathy! No way, No how!" I told myself "You may be hurting but you are more about the norm of eating out than working on this bad habit that you have formed. Get off you lazy butt and get in there and do this one step at a time." So that is what I did. I got the potatoes ready and I was about to cry but I got them n the oven and made it back to my chair and put my feet up for 10 minutes and then I went in there and got the fish in their packets and in the oven and made it back to sit down and put my feet up. Mark got home and he helped me get the green beans in the oven to roast and he served it up and he unloaded and reloaded the dishwasher for me. I shutter to think what pain I'm going to feel when I finish this and try and get up to stand and make it to the back of the house to go to bed. OMG!
One thing really cool today that I did was look at the workbook that Kathy and I will be starting on Thursday about eating mindfully. I'm excited about getting to work on that and learn more to help my recovery. I read the Introduction and it was really neat. She wrote this workbook for people who wanted to learn more about mindful eating than just from her book. It has exercises and such to do before and after meals and it is going to teach me how to be mindful in many different circumstances which is where I feel like I flounder a lot right now. The book is also used in group therapy and I can see where maybe Anna can be a part of the feelings and emotions tied to this. The cool thing is that the author said that this is for anyone who wants to break the diet/gain cycle. Can't wait to start sharing what I learn during this phase of recovery.
Well, I am tired and I do need to get some sleep. When you read this tomorrow, please pray for my knees and ankles and this unrelenting pain that I'm in. My prayer as I close tonight is that I will wake up pain free or at least with only the amount that I usually have to deal with. I can't wait to have lunch with my friend and to go and shop at Sprouts! A new store that just opened! More about it tomorrow!
Tuesday, April 23, 2013
Monday, April 22, 2013
Wild Weekend!
I'm so sorry I didn't get to post this weekend. We got a late start going up to Dallas and ran into traffic before we got to the hotel. We only had about an hour to get ready and to get to the party so it was helter skelter. The 50th wedding anniversary party for Mark's sister and brother-in-law was beautiful. Her kids did amazing job on the party. They cleared out furniture, had round tables all decorated, amazing food, open bar basically the works! we had such a good time! His sister had her going away outfit display with her original wedding book, invitation, her diary with the recorded page of when she met Cecil and of all things the first Christmas ornament. The house was full other wedding pictures and the kids did a video from the time they were dating through their childhood off to the grandchildren.
On Saturday mark worked for a while at his mothers putting up I need fixture and her dining room and installing a new ceiling fan in her bedroom. We almost have the house ready to be put on the market and this week what mark 8 year from when she passed away. Nancy, mark, and I shed quite a few tears talking about this last year and wanting all of this to be over with.
I did forget to tell you that his middle sister was there (the one that has caused so much trouble) and Mark overheard her say to Nancy "Did you know that "they" were going to be here?" Stupid! What in the hell does she think that her only brother would stay away on such a big celebration? Duh? She didn't speak to us and avoided us like a plague.
Saturday night we met up with his best friend Tim and his wife Pam. When they were all younger they all use to hang out with Pam's sisters and Becky (one of them) met us also. Mark and her had not seen each other for at least 30 years. It was a lot a fun and we didn't get back to the hotel till 1:30!
Sunday we visited Nancy and Cecil for a couple of hours and then hit our favorite Mexican food place and I did not control my eating and will face Kathy about it on Thursday. We went hope a different way because of the traffic going up. I thought I was going to die from pain in my ankles and knees before we got home. I had never hurt so bad!
To fill you in with my phone visit with Kathy last Thursday. She used some pretty tough love on me (her words). She asked me how many times did we eat out the last week and I really didn't know. When she told me that we ate out 11 of the 21 times I was really shocked. She told me that it was going to stop. I told her about my trip and she understood that controlling the eat outs would be hard during the weekend. I told her what I could eat at the hotel for breakfast and that we could do Subway for lunch and about the night out Saturday and eating our Mexican food so she was o.k. with it. She then told me that she wanted a menu from me by today of what I was going to eat Monday through Thursday when I would see her again. This is what I just sent to her:
She did give me a lot of praise in regards to my list of foods that I put together with some of your help and again I appreciate it so much. She also told me that she loved that I shared the Chicken Spaghetti and she was going to try it! She said that I had a lot of good ideas to get me going. I'm sure that when I work on next weeks menu I will work with that list. We are also going to start working on the workbook that she had me get so she told me to bring it with me on Thursday. I will be happy to get started on something because I still feel like I really don't know what I'm doing or if I'm doing this right. I'm ready to learn!
Tomorrow I see my oncologist and I'm hoping that she will help figure out something that I can take for pain with the blood thinners that she has me on. Also tomorrow I am going to go grocery shopping but I'm only going to do half of the store. I think that I can make it that far! Pray for me!
On Saturday mark worked for a while at his mothers putting up I need fixture and her dining room and installing a new ceiling fan in her bedroom. We almost have the house ready to be put on the market and this week what mark 8 year from when she passed away. Nancy, mark, and I shed quite a few tears talking about this last year and wanting all of this to be over with.
I did forget to tell you that his middle sister was there (the one that has caused so much trouble) and Mark overheard her say to Nancy "Did you know that "they" were going to be here?" Stupid! What in the hell does she think that her only brother would stay away on such a big celebration? Duh? She didn't speak to us and avoided us like a plague.
Saturday night we met up with his best friend Tim and his wife Pam. When they were all younger they all use to hang out with Pam's sisters and Becky (one of them) met us also. Mark and her had not seen each other for at least 30 years. It was a lot a fun and we didn't get back to the hotel till 1:30!
Sunday we visited Nancy and Cecil for a couple of hours and then hit our favorite Mexican food place and I did not control my eating and will face Kathy about it on Thursday. We went hope a different way because of the traffic going up. I thought I was going to die from pain in my ankles and knees before we got home. I had never hurt so bad!
To fill you in with my phone visit with Kathy last Thursday. She used some pretty tough love on me (her words). She asked me how many times did we eat out the last week and I really didn't know. When she told me that we ate out 11 of the 21 times I was really shocked. She told me that it was going to stop. I told her about my trip and she understood that controlling the eat outs would be hard during the weekend. I told her what I could eat at the hotel for breakfast and that we could do Subway for lunch and about the night out Saturday and eating our Mexican food so she was o.k. with it. She then told me that she wanted a menu from me by today of what I was going to eat Monday through Thursday when I would see her again. This is what I just sent to her:
Kathy,
I'm sorry that I did not get this to you sooner but I slept nearly all day!
This is what I fixed tonight:
grilled chicken breast
broccoli
new potatoes
Tuesday:
Baked Ono Fish
potato packets with bacon and a little cheese
brown butter balsamic green beans
Wednesday
Pork Chops on the grill
mashed potatoes
mixed steamed vegetables
Thursday
HEB Roast Beef packets low sodium
boiled potatoes
carrots (wish I knew how to fix them other than boiled)
Let me know if you see something that I need to change or you don't like.
See you Thursday,
Laura
She did give me a lot of praise in regards to my list of foods that I put together with some of your help and again I appreciate it so much. She also told me that she loved that I shared the Chicken Spaghetti and she was going to try it! She said that I had a lot of good ideas to get me going. I'm sure that when I work on next weeks menu I will work with that list. We are also going to start working on the workbook that she had me get so she told me to bring it with me on Thursday. I will be happy to get started on something because I still feel like I really don't know what I'm doing or if I'm doing this right. I'm ready to learn!
Tomorrow I see my oncologist and I'm hoping that she will help figure out something that I can take for pain with the blood thinners that she has me on. Also tomorrow I am going to go grocery shopping but I'm only going to do half of the store. I think that I can make it that far! Pray for me!
Friday, April 19, 2013
Just Checking!
We are fixing to go out of town. I'm thinking about not taking my computer and wanted to see if I could post from my Samsung tablet. I know I'm overdue for a post and I'll get caught up as soon as I can later today. So check back. Thanks! I've got a good update!
Monday, April 15, 2013
Thank You So Much!!!!!!!
I am so touched by each of you who responded to my request for help. I am so amazed by all of your ideas and cannot thank you enough! The email to Kathy was long and everything that you all shared with me was sent with my own thoughts and ideas. I am anxious to see what she will say. I hope and pray that she will be blown away with what I sent as I was in receiving it.
I do finally feel like I am capable of being able to start doing this. It isn't that hard and I can realize that but I also realize it was the thoughts of "being bad" and "all the dieting mentality" that I had crammed in my head. If it wasn't gourmet it wasn't worth anything. Thinking back to my childhood and pondering deep through my mind as the meals we shared as a family brought back such awesome memories of the meals my mother prepared. She is very talented to taking just meat and vegetables and turning it to a great meal and really we didn't eat the same things week after week like my husband Mark's family did.
I wanted to permanently place all this information on this blog but I can't quite figure it out so I am going to give this post a different label that maybe we all can come back to and get some ideas that may help all of us.
My sweet friend Doreen sent me her meal planning sheet and her grocery list and I can't tell you how the tears flowed when I opened up her email attachments and looked the two documents over. I plan on asking her if I can share them with you and then I am planning my blog designers to incorporate them into my pages as I just don't know how to do it. So if she gives me her go ahead they will be coming soon. But until then, here is what the email contained to Kathy.
Hi Kathy,
I know that this is really pushing to the last minute deadline but I have been thinking and working on this since I left your office last Thursday. The first was a call to my Mom and I asked her how did she throw our meals together when I was growing up. I don't remember my mother cooking from recipes but the food she prepared was always good. Her response to me was that she always had can vegetables on hand and salad stuff on hand. She bought hamburger, chicken, pork chops, steaks and really anything on sale at a good price. She told me that she only shopped once a week. She reminded me that back then a lb. of hamburger fed us and usually we had some left overs for Dad's lunch. So we talked about some of the things that I remember that she made and when she went to work taught me how to make. Here is my beginning list:
Chalupas
Texas Hash with a vegetable and a salad
Smothered Steak with mashed potatoes and a veggie
Roast, potatoes and carrots
Fried chicken potatoes of some kind and veggies
baked chicken and rice with a veggie
fried fish french fries, veggies
fried shrimp french fries and a veggie
Spaghetti with garlic bread and a salad
Chicken Spaghetti with garlic bread and a salad
Chili dogs with fries
Wienies and sauerkraut
Steak on the grill with potatoes and veggies
BBQ chicken with potato salad and baked beans
Beans and Cornbread
Chili
Ham, baked sweet potato and veggie
Hash made with left over roast potatoes and carrots served over rice, potatoes or toast
SOS (ground beef with onions and garlic, lots of salt and pepper and a thin cream gravy) served over rice or toast with veggies and a salad
meatloaf, mashed potatoes, veggie
salmon patties, potato, veggie
I remember almost always having a lettuce and tomato salad with green godess dressing LOL! Sitting and thinking about all of this brought back some warm memories of growing up. I can remember usually Friday nights was either a Whataburger night or pizza night.
Then, I went out to my blog and talked about our meeting and my assignment. I made a plea to my readers to help me out. I can' believe the suggestions that I got. Some were very good ideas. Doreen who has been following me for years back when I had my website and since we have met and become friends really came to my rescue and she sent me the 2 attachments that I have added to this email. She also suggest this:
Favorite dinners that I don't use a recipe for:
Salmon (marinate with John Henry Orange Dill or sprinkle with Penzey's lemon pepper)
Asparagus roasted with Kosher salt and olive oil
Rice or a potato
Baked chicken
Cranberry sauce
Mashed or baked potato
Vegetable
Salad or celery/carrot sticks
Meatloaf
Mashed potatoes
Green beans
Meatloaf
Steamed potatoes and fresh carrots
Salad
Spaghetti or lasagna
Garlic bread
A rice cooker, toaster oven, regular steamer, microwave steamer and a contact grill make cooking easy.
So Doreen helped me so much, especially with her shopping list and her meal plan!!!! I plan on using them both. Here is a easy recipe that she shared with me and I’d like to share with you because it sounds so easy.
Chicken Spaghetti
2 cups chopped cooked chicken breast
2 cups uncooked spaghetti noodles, broken into 2-inch pieces (about 7 ounces)
1 cup (1/4-inch-thick) slices celery
1 cup chopped red bell pepper
1 cup chopped onion
1 cup fat-free, less-sodium chicken broth
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
2 (10.75-ounce) cans condensed 30% reduced-sodium 98% fat-free cream of mushroom soup, undiluted
Cooking spray
1 cup (4 ounces) shredded cheddar cheese
1. Preheat oven to 350°.
2. Combine first 5 ingredients in a large bowl. Combine broth, salt, pepper, and soup in a medium bowl, stirring with a whisk. Add soup mixture to chicken mixture; toss.
Sprinkle cheese over casserole. Cover with foil coated with cooking spray.
Bake at 350° for 35 minutes. Uncover and bake an additional 10 minutes.
So next I heard from another friend that I met 8 years ago through a WW support group, her name is Susan and this is what she sent me: (Some ideas that I might try)
Hi Laura, it's Susan...
Quick meals:
breakfast for dinner: omelette with veggies... Make it colorful with different colors of peppers, wilted greens, mushrooms, onions, canadian bacon, and a controlled amount of cheese to bind it. (I've personally gone back to whole eggs, the substitutes or whites only just don't do it for me)
Pancakes... I use Bob's Red Mill (?) multi grain or buckwheat pancake mix -- yes, still a recipe, but might be limited enough to work?. Careful, though, two 4" pancakes are plenty for me when combined with a protein (favorites being turkey bacon or Canadian bacon), a fruit and a beverage (usually milk along with my coffee). The pancakes also absorb syrup readily, so I've taken to using unsweetened applesauce and cinnamon for a topping to manage portion control. One batch is usually enough for 4-5 servings based on the size of the pancakes created.
Cobb salad: one egg boiled and sliced, sensible portion of lean meat (cubed), greens, and colorful veggies to add interest both visually and texture-wise. Novel thought: salsa as dressing?
Chicken (or name-your-protein-of-choice), boiled and mashed (or baked) sweet potato w/ a teaspoon of butter (if desired) and cinnamon (sugar not necessary, combine cinnamon with just a hint of black pepper for an interesting taste that I've grown to like) and another appropriate side like perhaps lightly steamed asparagus? (Very few things I dislike more than mushy veggies)
My "home" Mexican-ish dinner -- might not be to your liking since you're used to "the real thing" ... In a large pan brown some lean ground turkey (seasoned liberally with pepper, garlic (I cheat: minced from a jar), and others to taste --cilantro, oregano, onions and green chilis all have been known to appear based on my whim), add some frozen corn kernels, rinse a can of black beans and add to the mix, continue stirring until warmed. I put this mixture into a low carb La Bandarita brand tortilla, and add LF cheese, LF sour cream, tomatillo salsa, and shredded lettuce. (One batch of the mixture will last several days, interspersed with other meals).
Basically, I've found that a meal has to appeal to me on multiple levels... Mixes of color, texture, taste to keep my interest... However it has to also be easy or I'll default to peanut butter/honey (or Nutella) and banana wraps... my self-discovered comfort food... and the simplicity of cereal or grabbing a single-serve yogurt from the fridge... All of which are still valid options, just so long as that's not the only thing I eat :P
Hope it helps :) ... And gee, maybe I should get help for my parenthetical statement problem!
--Susan
Now for the last suggestions that I got directly from my blog from a girl who has read for many years, I have never met her but she has always encouraged me and supported me. There are not many people who have found it and read it but those that have have been wonderful to me. My blog is really just for me to put down my thoughts and feelings and record my journey to getting to freedom and health. Here is what she posted to me:
Meatloaf, baked potato and veggies.
Omelets, bacon, toast. (I love breakfast for dinner)
Taco Salad
Roast, potatoes, carrots, parsnips, turnips in a crock pot. (you can add and veggie you like)
Pork Chops, sautéed apples and some type of veggie
I also cook about 100 meatballs at a time with some Italian sausage. I put them in containers for 2 people. I then either make sandwiches or cook some pasta. (Freeze any extra pasta in some sauce). Easy peasy and no leftovers to tempt you.
So, I feel better and less lost. I feel like I can start putting together things to cook at home and my next step is to make a meal plan which I will bring with me on Thursday.
Thank you so much for your love and patience. I'm so glad that I found you. My hope and prayer is that more people find you, realize that they have a eating disorder and diets are never going to save them. You are such a blessing!
See you Thursday,
Laura
So I had a good weekend. Some fun with some old friends. I ate well during the weekend and was proud of what I did. I have also tracked my meals like Kathy wants me to do. Today was a weird day for me as I had a hard time waking up and I ate left overs for breakfast but that is what I wanted and then around 11:30 I fell asleep and I didn't wake up till 4:00. I must have been tired. I didn't eat my afternoon snack and obviously I missed lunch. I had a good dinner and I've had my night time snack and I'm headed to bed to start all over again tomorrow!
Again thank you so much for your help! You all are a blessing to me! Much love...Always...
I do finally feel like I am capable of being able to start doing this. It isn't that hard and I can realize that but I also realize it was the thoughts of "being bad" and "all the dieting mentality" that I had crammed in my head. If it wasn't gourmet it wasn't worth anything. Thinking back to my childhood and pondering deep through my mind as the meals we shared as a family brought back such awesome memories of the meals my mother prepared. She is very talented to taking just meat and vegetables and turning it to a great meal and really we didn't eat the same things week after week like my husband Mark's family did.
I wanted to permanently place all this information on this blog but I can't quite figure it out so I am going to give this post a different label that maybe we all can come back to and get some ideas that may help all of us.
My sweet friend Doreen sent me her meal planning sheet and her grocery list and I can't tell you how the tears flowed when I opened up her email attachments and looked the two documents over. I plan on asking her if I can share them with you and then I am planning my blog designers to incorporate them into my pages as I just don't know how to do it. So if she gives me her go ahead they will be coming soon. But until then, here is what the email contained to Kathy.
Hi Kathy,
I know that this is really pushing to the last minute deadline but I have been thinking and working on this since I left your office last Thursday. The first was a call to my Mom and I asked her how did she throw our meals together when I was growing up. I don't remember my mother cooking from recipes but the food she prepared was always good. Her response to me was that she always had can vegetables on hand and salad stuff on hand. She bought hamburger, chicken, pork chops, steaks and really anything on sale at a good price. She told me that she only shopped once a week. She reminded me that back then a lb. of hamburger fed us and usually we had some left overs for Dad's lunch. So we talked about some of the things that I remember that she made and when she went to work taught me how to make. Here is my beginning list:
Chalupas
Texas Hash with a vegetable and a salad
Smothered Steak with mashed potatoes and a veggie
Roast, potatoes and carrots
Fried chicken potatoes of some kind and veggies
baked chicken and rice with a veggie
fried fish french fries, veggies
fried shrimp french fries and a veggie
Spaghetti with garlic bread and a salad
Chicken Spaghetti with garlic bread and a salad
Chili dogs with fries
Wienies and sauerkraut
Steak on the grill with potatoes and veggies
BBQ chicken with potato salad and baked beans
Beans and Cornbread
Chili
Ham, baked sweet potato and veggie
Hash made with left over roast potatoes and carrots served over rice, potatoes or toast
SOS (ground beef with onions and garlic, lots of salt and pepper and a thin cream gravy) served over rice or toast with veggies and a salad
meatloaf, mashed potatoes, veggie
salmon patties, potato, veggie
I remember almost always having a lettuce and tomato salad with green godess dressing LOL! Sitting and thinking about all of this brought back some warm memories of growing up. I can remember usually Friday nights was either a Whataburger night or pizza night.
Then, I went out to my blog and talked about our meeting and my assignment. I made a plea to my readers to help me out. I can' believe the suggestions that I got. Some were very good ideas. Doreen who has been following me for years back when I had my website and since we have met and become friends really came to my rescue and she sent me the 2 attachments that I have added to this email. She also suggest this:
Favorite dinners that I don't use a recipe for:
Salmon (marinate with John Henry Orange Dill or sprinkle with Penzey's lemon pepper)
Asparagus roasted with Kosher salt and olive oil
Rice or a potato
Baked chicken
Cranberry sauce
Mashed or baked potato
Vegetable
Salad or celery/carrot sticks
Meatloaf
Mashed potatoes
Green beans
Meatloaf
Steamed potatoes and fresh carrots
Salad
Spaghetti or lasagna
Garlic bread
A rice cooker, toaster oven, regular steamer, microwave steamer and a contact grill make cooking easy.
So Doreen helped me so much, especially with her shopping list and her meal plan!!!! I plan on using them both. Here is a easy recipe that she shared with me and I’d like to share with you because it sounds so easy.
Chicken Spaghetti
2 cups chopped cooked chicken breast
2 cups uncooked spaghetti noodles, broken into 2-inch pieces (about 7 ounces)
1 cup (1/4-inch-thick) slices celery
1 cup chopped red bell pepper
1 cup chopped onion
1 cup fat-free, less-sodium chicken broth
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
2 (10.75-ounce) cans condensed 30% reduced-sodium 98% fat-free cream of mushroom soup, undiluted
Cooking spray
1 cup (4 ounces) shredded cheddar cheese
1. Preheat oven to 350°.
2. Combine first 5 ingredients in a large bowl. Combine broth, salt, pepper, and soup in a medium bowl, stirring with a whisk. Add soup mixture to chicken mixture; toss.
Sprinkle cheese over casserole. Cover with foil coated with cooking spray.
Bake at 350° for 35 minutes. Uncover and bake an additional 10 minutes.
So next I heard from another friend that I met 8 years ago through a WW support group, her name is Susan and this is what she sent me: (Some ideas that I might try)
Hi Laura, it's Susan...
Quick meals:
breakfast for dinner: omelette with veggies... Make it colorful with different colors of peppers, wilted greens, mushrooms, onions, canadian bacon, and a controlled amount of cheese to bind it. (I've personally gone back to whole eggs, the substitutes or whites only just don't do it for me)
Pancakes... I use Bob's Red Mill (?) multi grain or buckwheat pancake mix -- yes, still a recipe, but might be limited enough to work?. Careful, though, two 4" pancakes are plenty for me when combined with a protein (favorites being turkey bacon or Canadian bacon), a fruit and a beverage (usually milk along with my coffee). The pancakes also absorb syrup readily, so I've taken to using unsweetened applesauce and cinnamon for a topping to manage portion control. One batch is usually enough for 4-5 servings based on the size of the pancakes created.
Cobb salad: one egg boiled and sliced, sensible portion of lean meat (cubed), greens, and colorful veggies to add interest both visually and texture-wise. Novel thought: salsa as dressing?
Chicken (or name-your-protein-of-choice), boiled and mashed (or baked) sweet potato w/ a teaspoon of butter (if desired) and cinnamon (sugar not necessary, combine cinnamon with just a hint of black pepper for an interesting taste that I've grown to like) and another appropriate side like perhaps lightly steamed asparagus? (Very few things I dislike more than mushy veggies)
My "home" Mexican-ish dinner -- might not be to your liking since you're used to "the real thing" ... In a large pan brown some lean ground turkey (seasoned liberally with pepper, garlic (I cheat: minced from a jar), and others to taste --cilantro, oregano, onions and green chilis all have been known to appear based on my whim), add some frozen corn kernels, rinse a can of black beans and add to the mix, continue stirring until warmed. I put this mixture into a low carb La Bandarita brand tortilla, and add LF cheese, LF sour cream, tomatillo salsa, and shredded lettuce. (One batch of the mixture will last several days, interspersed with other meals).
Basically, I've found that a meal has to appeal to me on multiple levels... Mixes of color, texture, taste to keep my interest... However it has to also be easy or I'll default to peanut butter/honey (or Nutella) and banana wraps... my self-discovered comfort food... and the simplicity of cereal or grabbing a single-serve yogurt from the fridge... All of which are still valid options, just so long as that's not the only thing I eat :P
Hope it helps :) ... And gee, maybe I should get help for my parenthetical statement problem!
--Susan
Now for the last suggestions that I got directly from my blog from a girl who has read for many years, I have never met her but she has always encouraged me and supported me. There are not many people who have found it and read it but those that have have been wonderful to me. My blog is really just for me to put down my thoughts and feelings and record my journey to getting to freedom and health. Here is what she posted to me:
Meatloaf, baked potato and veggies.
Omelets, bacon, toast. (I love breakfast for dinner)
Taco Salad
Roast, potatoes, carrots, parsnips, turnips in a crock pot. (you can add and veggie you like)
Pork Chops, sautéed apples and some type of veggie
I also cook about 100 meatballs at a time with some Italian sausage. I put them in containers for 2 people. I then either make sandwiches or cook some pasta. (Freeze any extra pasta in some sauce). Easy peasy and no leftovers to tempt you.
So, I feel better and less lost. I feel like I can start putting together things to cook at home and my next step is to make a meal plan which I will bring with me on Thursday.
Thank you so much for your love and patience. I'm so glad that I found you. My hope and prayer is that more people find you, realize that they have a eating disorder and diets are never going to save them. You are such a blessing!
See you Thursday,
Laura
So I had a good weekend. Some fun with some old friends. I ate well during the weekend and was proud of what I did. I have also tracked my meals like Kathy wants me to do. Today was a weird day for me as I had a hard time waking up and I ate left overs for breakfast but that is what I wanted and then around 11:30 I fell asleep and I didn't wake up till 4:00. I must have been tired. I didn't eat my afternoon snack and obviously I missed lunch. I had a good dinner and I've had my night time snack and I'm headed to bed to start all over again tomorrow!
Again thank you so much for your help! You all are a blessing to me! Much love...Always...
Sunday, April 14, 2013
This Can't Surprise You!
I'm sorry about Friday but my niece Meredith ended up coming out and visiting for a bit and then she left for an appointment and then she came back. By the time she left to go to the airport to get Shannon and Patrick Mark got home from work and I just never got back out here.
Today, Mark worked and I bought some unlimited time for a game I love and I never made it back here and now it is in the wee hours of Sunday morning and I can't sleep and here I am finally getting to write.
I just have really been in a funk lately. Learning to live with a eating disorder sure isn't what I thought it would be. It has been freeing at times, frustrating at times and has really had my emotions all over the place. But truly I can say that the journey so far has been worth it and learning what all I have learned I do know that I will never go back to dieting. It truly just didn't work for me. I'm starting to grasp that this journey isn't about numbers but more about trusting the process. Trusting to rely on my own body cues for when I need to eat and what I need to eat. I have enjoyed having so many foods that I treated as 'bad" while I dieted and learning that they are not bad but there are ways to have them and also how to be mindful about them. I would have never believed for a minute that I could stop eating queso at a mexican restaurant and actually just visit with Mark and watch him eat it. I never would have believed that less than half way through my favorite enchiladas that I would just be able to see that I had eaten enough and put down my fork and take close to 2/3rds of it home. Never, ever, ever but it is happening for me now. I can have M&M's in my house and not eat the bag in a day but a small salsa cup full mixed with dry roasted peanuts is a great snack. In less than 2 weeks I'm over the M&M's and now I'm wanting strawberries and greek yogurt. Go figure.
I'm just coming out of a phase where I literally did not want to eat. I was told that I would binge if I didn't eat by a clock and I had Kathy and Anna fretting to see what the outcome of this would be. I don't know if because I finally did start eating what I could on schedule save me from binging or if I'm learning that binging isn't worth it. I don't know, time will only tell. Kathy tells me that I will never stop binging but it will be less and I will be able to recover very quickly from it. So, you see I have to learn to trust the process.
You all know how I have struggled for a long time with cooking and not eating out. Kathy and Anna (especially Anna) have done all but pull their hair out in trying to get me back in the kitchen. Kathy has decided to take me back to square one and that is NO RECIPES. I need to come up with a list of meals that I can make from the top of my head. Things that are easy and quick to put together, things that I only need staples for and I need to cook at least 3 times a week which will give us left overs and she will let us eat out a couple times a week. She wants to start monitoring my sodium intake because she believes that I am sodium sensitive and thus a reason why my weight isn't dropping quickly because it should be. We'll see. At least all I have to do is eat mindfully and record it and she does the rest and if something is not right she will address it.
I find that she keeps telling me to stop worrying about what I'm eating, she says if I am eating mindfully that I will be o.k. I can't tell ya'll how different this mentality is. Eating things like chicken fried steak and it being o.k. She keeps telling me, it is the excessive eating of these types of foods that are bad. Just this past Thursday when we were talking about simple meals I told her that I thought about buying the Crockin Girl's cookbook but I knew that it was pretty unhealthy. She gave me her nasty mean look which tells me that all foods are good and none are bad. She politely told me that she was confident that I could make changes to the recipes to be more mindful to my health. I told her that I was wanting to make some casseroles but that I knew that they were bad. (I really have to lose that word around her, she loses it when I say it!) She told me to work on having them. I asked her how did she work a full time job, have young children and a husband and go home and prepare meals every night. She told me that she meal plans. She told me that it is o.k. for me to do the same. She explained to me that in the front of her meal planning notebook she has 2-3 pages of simple meals that she can pull from when time is real limited and she doesn't have much time to cook.
She gave me the assignment and I have to have this to her by Monday so I need your help quick! I have to put together a list of simple meals that I can do easily and not have to follow a recipe. So...send me the things that you do with your family. I know ya'll don't comment here like you did on the old site so email me and tell me! imahoot286@sbcglobal.net (quit laughing!!!) there is a story behind this email address and I have had it for 20 years!!!!
So...what are you waiting for....send me some of you quick, easy, no brains dinner ideas!!!
I'm waiting!!!!! I will share with ya'll what I have come up with on Monday when I have to email her my list.
Today, Mark worked and I bought some unlimited time for a game I love and I never made it back here and now it is in the wee hours of Sunday morning and I can't sleep and here I am finally getting to write.
I just have really been in a funk lately. Learning to live with a eating disorder sure isn't what I thought it would be. It has been freeing at times, frustrating at times and has really had my emotions all over the place. But truly I can say that the journey so far has been worth it and learning what all I have learned I do know that I will never go back to dieting. It truly just didn't work for me. I'm starting to grasp that this journey isn't about numbers but more about trusting the process. Trusting to rely on my own body cues for when I need to eat and what I need to eat. I have enjoyed having so many foods that I treated as 'bad" while I dieted and learning that they are not bad but there are ways to have them and also how to be mindful about them. I would have never believed for a minute that I could stop eating queso at a mexican restaurant and actually just visit with Mark and watch him eat it. I never would have believed that less than half way through my favorite enchiladas that I would just be able to see that I had eaten enough and put down my fork and take close to 2/3rds of it home. Never, ever, ever but it is happening for me now. I can have M&M's in my house and not eat the bag in a day but a small salsa cup full mixed with dry roasted peanuts is a great snack. In less than 2 weeks I'm over the M&M's and now I'm wanting strawberries and greek yogurt. Go figure.
I'm just coming out of a phase where I literally did not want to eat. I was told that I would binge if I didn't eat by a clock and I had Kathy and Anna fretting to see what the outcome of this would be. I don't know if because I finally did start eating what I could on schedule save me from binging or if I'm learning that binging isn't worth it. I don't know, time will only tell. Kathy tells me that I will never stop binging but it will be less and I will be able to recover very quickly from it. So, you see I have to learn to trust the process.
You all know how I have struggled for a long time with cooking and not eating out. Kathy and Anna (especially Anna) have done all but pull their hair out in trying to get me back in the kitchen. Kathy has decided to take me back to square one and that is NO RECIPES. I need to come up with a list of meals that I can make from the top of my head. Things that are easy and quick to put together, things that I only need staples for and I need to cook at least 3 times a week which will give us left overs and she will let us eat out a couple times a week. She wants to start monitoring my sodium intake because she believes that I am sodium sensitive and thus a reason why my weight isn't dropping quickly because it should be. We'll see. At least all I have to do is eat mindfully and record it and she does the rest and if something is not right she will address it.
I find that she keeps telling me to stop worrying about what I'm eating, she says if I am eating mindfully that I will be o.k. I can't tell ya'll how different this mentality is. Eating things like chicken fried steak and it being o.k. She keeps telling me, it is the excessive eating of these types of foods that are bad. Just this past Thursday when we were talking about simple meals I told her that I thought about buying the Crockin Girl's cookbook but I knew that it was pretty unhealthy. She gave me her nasty mean look which tells me that all foods are good and none are bad. She politely told me that she was confident that I could make changes to the recipes to be more mindful to my health. I told her that I was wanting to make some casseroles but that I knew that they were bad. (I really have to lose that word around her, she loses it when I say it!) She told me to work on having them. I asked her how did she work a full time job, have young children and a husband and go home and prepare meals every night. She told me that she meal plans. She told me that it is o.k. for me to do the same. She explained to me that in the front of her meal planning notebook she has 2-3 pages of simple meals that she can pull from when time is real limited and she doesn't have much time to cook.
She gave me the assignment and I have to have this to her by Monday so I need your help quick! I have to put together a list of simple meals that I can do easily and not have to follow a recipe. So...send me the things that you do with your family. I know ya'll don't comment here like you did on the old site so email me and tell me! imahoot286@sbcglobal.net (quit laughing!!!) there is a story behind this email address and I have had it for 20 years!!!!
So...what are you waiting for....send me some of you quick, easy, no brains dinner ideas!!!
I'm waiting!!!!! I will share with ya'll what I have come up with on Monday when I have to email her my list.
Friday, April 12, 2013
It Can't Be Friday!
Boy! Time has flown by and I haven't gotten back out here like I said I would! So what else is new? LOL! Ya'll should know me pretty well by now! No seriously, procrastination is my middle name! So, the maids are coming in a few hours and I have some things that I need to get finished. I will be back in a bit to bring you up to speed and I have a question for you all and I hope and pray that you will respond to it! I need some help! By Monday morning! I'll be back.....
Tuesday, April 9, 2013
In A Funk!!!!
I'm sorry that I haven't posted. I have really have been in a funk. I have also been sick. Allergies have gotten the best of me. All last weekend I didn't have a voice! I've also been sleeping a lot and I haven't wanted to do what I'm suppose to be doing. Even still...
I didn't get to go to my friend's visitation nor to her funeral because all I was doing was squeaking and I was afraid of scaring everyone off. I just stayed home and thought a lot about her and her family and spent time in prayer. This has really been hard. There have been times that I have really wished it would have been me and not her. She loved life and she loved everyone. She was always happy and she made sure that everyone was as happy as she was. Me? Well, it's not worth going there. I've spent most of my life not wanting to be here. Boy I have some more work to do.
I did get to see Anna and Kathy this past Thursday. Anna and I talked about my friend. Anna didn't have a whole lot to say but to give me her condolences. We talked more about her thoughts on the book "Life Without Ed. It seems that Anna has done a study with a group from Harvard on mindful eating as she told me that there were parts of the book that she didn't agree with. Great! Deep down I've been a little worried how all this was going to work out with Anna and Kathy. Kathy is sold out on the book. They have yet to really talk but they leave messages for each other. I guess I am going to have to put my foot down with Kathy and tell her to find the time to contact Anna and let's get this show on the road. I feel like I'm in limbo and that isn't right because I'm the one paying out the rear-end to get the help.
I'm also still in a strange place of not wanting to eat much. I'm not in the mood to eat by a schedule. I'm not tracking mainly because I'm eating weird and fear the wrath of Kathy which I know I have not ever received but I still have the lingerings of dear Ol Mike! Speaking of which I've let back into my life but I swear it is very different. If it stays like it is then we can be friends. If he starts trying to get into my business I will slam dunk him again and I've told him that. We are not talking about diet anything. Just friends. I think that we both like it this way too. Of course if I haven't already written about it or not, he was fired from Weight Watchers. Enough said. He is looking for a job.
Back to my eating. I'm not wanting breakfast, sandwiches for lunch are a big turn off so I just don't eat, I'm eating dinner but not much of it because I'm sick of everything. Mark's job has calmed down but I haven't been able to get him to go to the store. I don't think that I can do it but I might have to try even if all I do is go to a section of the store a day. I'm in a funk about cooking. Kathy is wanting me to cook, wants Mark and I to talk less about food, and she wants to watch my sodium. Sound familiar? Dang! Can I do anything right?
I'm still in the mode of sitting with this damn computer in my lap day in and day out. Karen A. my friend that I went to the Stitching Get-Away wants to get together next week to stitch and walk. She just may be my saving grace. I've thought about asking my neighbor Srijha to start walking with me. I'm so afraid of going too far and not being able to make it back. I feel like I'm losing my strength again and I just don't want to go there.
I've cancelled my Remicade each week for a month. Tomorrow I go and see Mark and it has been over a month and I've been sporadic about my meds and I can hear him already. I don't want to take the dang Ambilify that he wanted me to take and I can hear him bitching about that. Thursday I see Anna, then Kathy and the I rush over to get my Remicade. Friday the maids come, Sunday Mike and Sandy are coming over for...ready...iPad and Samsung Galaxy 3 class along with Samsung Tab 2 class. It seems that Sandy and I are dumb in these areas and it was her idea that we get together and let Mike teach us all the ins and out of these things. I have to admit I never use my iPad and I don't know all the ins and outs of my Galaxy phone and I just bought the Samsung Tablet last week because I'm a tech freak!
So here it is Tuesday morning at 5:10 and I started this 3 days ago. Today I am going to try really hard to eat by the freaking clock and try to get this show on the road again.
I'll fill you in tonight and tell you what I made of my day! It's got to get better!
I didn't get to go to my friend's visitation nor to her funeral because all I was doing was squeaking and I was afraid of scaring everyone off. I just stayed home and thought a lot about her and her family and spent time in prayer. This has really been hard. There have been times that I have really wished it would have been me and not her. She loved life and she loved everyone. She was always happy and she made sure that everyone was as happy as she was. Me? Well, it's not worth going there. I've spent most of my life not wanting to be here. Boy I have some more work to do.
I did get to see Anna and Kathy this past Thursday. Anna and I talked about my friend. Anna didn't have a whole lot to say but to give me her condolences. We talked more about her thoughts on the book "Life Without Ed. It seems that Anna has done a study with a group from Harvard on mindful eating as she told me that there were parts of the book that she didn't agree with. Great! Deep down I've been a little worried how all this was going to work out with Anna and Kathy. Kathy is sold out on the book. They have yet to really talk but they leave messages for each other. I guess I am going to have to put my foot down with Kathy and tell her to find the time to contact Anna and let's get this show on the road. I feel like I'm in limbo and that isn't right because I'm the one paying out the rear-end to get the help.
I'm also still in a strange place of not wanting to eat much. I'm not in the mood to eat by a schedule. I'm not tracking mainly because I'm eating weird and fear the wrath of Kathy which I know I have not ever received but I still have the lingerings of dear Ol Mike! Speaking of which I've let back into my life but I swear it is very different. If it stays like it is then we can be friends. If he starts trying to get into my business I will slam dunk him again and I've told him that. We are not talking about diet anything. Just friends. I think that we both like it this way too. Of course if I haven't already written about it or not, he was fired from Weight Watchers. Enough said. He is looking for a job.
Back to my eating. I'm not wanting breakfast, sandwiches for lunch are a big turn off so I just don't eat, I'm eating dinner but not much of it because I'm sick of everything. Mark's job has calmed down but I haven't been able to get him to go to the store. I don't think that I can do it but I might have to try even if all I do is go to a section of the store a day. I'm in a funk about cooking. Kathy is wanting me to cook, wants Mark and I to talk less about food, and she wants to watch my sodium. Sound familiar? Dang! Can I do anything right?
I'm still in the mode of sitting with this damn computer in my lap day in and day out. Karen A. my friend that I went to the Stitching Get-Away wants to get together next week to stitch and walk. She just may be my saving grace. I've thought about asking my neighbor Srijha to start walking with me. I'm so afraid of going too far and not being able to make it back. I feel like I'm losing my strength again and I just don't want to go there.
I've cancelled my Remicade each week for a month. Tomorrow I go and see Mark and it has been over a month and I've been sporadic about my meds and I can hear him already. I don't want to take the dang Ambilify that he wanted me to take and I can hear him bitching about that. Thursday I see Anna, then Kathy and the I rush over to get my Remicade. Friday the maids come, Sunday Mike and Sandy are coming over for...ready...iPad and Samsung Galaxy 3 class along with Samsung Tab 2 class. It seems that Sandy and I are dumb in these areas and it was her idea that we get together and let Mike teach us all the ins and out of these things. I have to admit I never use my iPad and I don't know all the ins and outs of my Galaxy phone and I just bought the Samsung Tablet last week because I'm a tech freak!
So here it is Tuesday morning at 5:10 and I started this 3 days ago. Today I am going to try really hard to eat by the freaking clock and try to get this show on the road again.
I'll fill you in tonight and tell you what I made of my day! It's got to get better!
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