I have been a wee bit overwhelmed these last few days. Trying to get out here and write and trying to work on getting better. My mind feel fuzzy and emotions are all over the place. Sometimes I feel like I am making progress and yet another moment I feel like a failure. This is starting to be a wild ride! So I decided I need to hear from you. I need to know what you want to read. I've posted about my sessions in hopes that something said or done might help you. I'm not even sure you need the help. You the reader might be totally o.k. and have no struggles and then yet again I fear that someone might be. This is an expensive ride so I've been trying to help by giving you information. Maybe that isn't what you want. Maybe you just want to hear where I am and what I'm working on. So...please leave me a comment or send me a email and let me know what you would like to read about. My sessions or about me and the effects that the session have on me. If you don't want to leave a comment then email me at imahoot286@sbcglobal.net.
Marriage counseling went great and we are to talk about things that bother us and if there is a decision to be made then we are to work out a contract and sign it and break it back in. If we have problems agreeing then our therapist will work it out and/or decide for us. The key here is to try and remove as much emotional triggers as possible. That will help so much. I just have a tendency to eat when I'm frustrated or in a emotional moment.
My Mindful Eating Group started Wednesday and it is led by the same psychologist as we are seeing for our marital counseling. The jury is still out on how that will go. I wasn't impressed with the first meeting. Really nothing got accomplished but then at first with any therapist it is breaking the ice type of thing. There are only 3 of us beside the therapist in the group. I could have hoped for more. There is another lady who is an attorney and she is large but not like me and then there is a guy who is retired from BP and then there is me the lazy stay at home wife who just game up all her fun on Facebook which by the way was a good thing. Hard to tell how this one is going to work. Here is my concern. We are using the work book by Susan Alber's that goes with her mindful eating book. The group is to last 6 weeks. We have already had 1 week so 5 left. There are 11 or 12 chapters in the workbook. I've already completed 3 of them with Kathy. So...do I have to say much more. Did I just pay for 2 weeks of additional information about Chapters 4 and 5. Well what about the other weeks? Damn it I need to learn how to eat mindfully. Hear me? They don't! I'm real frustrated in this area of my recovery. I just can't decide to bitch now or later. Not sure with how this is all going to flow. Debating what to say to Dr. Michel when she asked me what I thought about it. Don't know what to do!
I can't make up my mind about the way Anna is going to be in this big picture. I want her in this but it isn't working like I had hoped. Kathy and Dr. Michel have done nothing but left messages for Anna and Anna has done the same. You would think that if you had 3 treatment people who were having a hard time meeting up you would agree to have a conference call one day after work. Hell, I'll pay for the it!
I know you are hearing frustrations yet I'm the one that keeps writing $150, $100, $300, $80 and $30 dollars every week, yet the $300 prepays my 6 week group. I need progress! I feel like I'm spinning like a F-5 tornado in between this team. I just may have to use this week to bitch! I know what Anna would tell me to do and that is to speak up for myself that the reality is I'm in control Humm..
So, we will see what tomorrow brings. Let me know what you think and we will all go from here. Thanks for being here for me! Even though ya'll don't talk back it feels good to feel that someone cares. A few of my friends here don't but that is another long story that I just don't feel like writing about today. Maybe later.
Love y'all!
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