If you listened to the Thom Rutledge talk I hope you enjoyed it as much as I have. There is a lot of good things out there to look at. In fact I messing around the computer I found a Binge Eating Blog where the guy who writes it created a computer App. Boy if he could create it for the phone he would make a ton of money. You need to go and check it out. It is called Binge Buddy and here is the link to it:
Binge Buddy
My session with Anna today was excellent! We mainly talked about my session with Dr. Michel on Monday plus my post on Facebook giving up my games which she was really happy about. One thing that I ran across this morning was a article about Sibling Bullying can cause Eating Disorders. When I read the title of the article it just ran chills through my body. We have never discussed my relationship with my brother. It has never been normal. As kids we couldn't stand each other. I tried but he was and is a piece of work. We have only discussed the issues with my parents and how they treated him. OMG! This was huge to me! Anna about fell out of her chair when I told her about it. We talked about our fights and how he would do things and all he had to say was "Laura started it" or "Laura did it" and I got in trouble. Every single time! I can remember when I was in Junior High and he was in high school him pushing me down from being in the middle of the mirror trying to get ready for school for him to comb his hair. He would stand there and say "Don't you wish you were as good looking as me?" or "Don't you wish you were as popular as me" That was when I really started hating him and when people asked me if we were related I would tell that that I didn't know who he was. I kid you not some people would see us get out of the car together and want to be my friend to get closer to him. I had to be careful who I ran around with and who I would let be my friend. Horrible! I think that this needs to be explored more. Anna does too!
Anna and I talked about me just seeing her to talk about things that might be bugging me while working with my team. At her office I thought that would be nice but since then I have thought I really don't want to have a place to voice what I don't like, I need to be letting the team know. Since our meeting I have decided that starting in September I will go to seeing Anna every other week so that I can keep her updated on what is going on just in case I run into the issue of not being able to afford working with my team and have to come back and just finish up with Anna. I told Anna about Dr. Michel's concern in doing that could cause confusion because of different psychology styles. Anna understood and she told me that she would not want to ever do that. It is just so hard to let go of someone you trust and shared so deeply with. Anna also invited me to be a part of a Mindful Eating group that she is starting next week based on the workbook that Kathy and I have worked out of. It also goes with the book that the group that I start attending next week under the direction of Dr. Michel is using. I hated to tell Anna no but it sounds like it isn't really organized too well but more of a time that her, a friend of hers, me and another patient would sit and discuss so I decided that i would attend. It is only going to be for 4 weeks. I couldn't hurt.
My visit with Kathy was a short one because she was leaving on vacation. That means that I won't see her for 2 weeks. We talked about the fact that I can leave my sessions all pumped up and ready to work hard and I don't follow through. We went over my goals again which is to stop eating at the places that we go to over and over and over. To find new places, to eat at the table every single meal. To stay mindful by putting down my fork when I speak and/or listen to conversation as I get distracted. Make sure I'm in tune with my body before eating, listen to music is a option, shop for what looks good, and ask myself before meal times and snack times "What do I want?" and make sure that I eat that. Get all diet food out of the house. Stock the pantry and refrigerator with options that I can pick from that will interest me each week. I must start doing all of this!
So Saturday we had our first meeting with Stacy who is our psychologist and she is also leading my mindful eating group that starts tomorrow. I will write tomorrow about our meeting with Stacy this past Saturday and my session with Dr Michel. I'll get you all going again. It's a whirlwind here and yes, I am missing my games!!!!! I'll work through it! I'm sure it will take time!
Till tomorrow!
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