Kathy was well pleased that when I ate fast-food that I was getting out of my car and going in. You know what? It really makes you think about hungry you really are! I have to be real hungry to get out of my car and eat by myself in a fast-food place. However, I did do it! It felt weird but was very eye opening to me.
She had my food records open and could see that I had eaten a King Size Reese's Nutrageous one night late. She questioned me about it. I told her that Mark had gone out to fill my car up with gas and he had asked me if I wanted anything and I told him that I would like a candy bar. Well, Kathy kinda flipped on this one. She asked me how often does this happen and I told her that he is always asking me if I needed anything before he gets home from work or if he is running an errand in the evening Well, she told me that I was going to have a hard assignment this week. She told me that I was going to have to tell Mark that he could no longer ask me those types of questions. She was adamant about it. She told me that if I was at home and was cooking and truly needed something from the store that I could make a list and I needed to call him and ask him to bring home only the things on the list. He could not ask me anymore if I wanted anything. Boy, I can tell you that this was going to be a hard one because as long as Mark and I have been together he has always asked me if there was anything that I needed before he got home. Always! I told her that I would do it.
She also noticed that at breakfast I was still eating fast-food or not eating at all. She told me that needed to stop, that I needed to eat breakfast at home before I left home each day. We talked about some fast things that I could do. Peanut butter on a toasted English muffin, waffles, fruit and oatmeal but she wanted me to start having breakfast at home each day. I told her that I would do that.
We then talked about me feeling uncomfortable about not weighing and measuring. She told me that she wanted me to learn how to visually control my portions. I asked her for a copy of the plate that she showed me on my first visit. You can down load it from the Internet. I put it on my refrigerator so that I can look at it each day so that I can learn. She told me to put my scales up for now. This is really bothering this weigh and measure Queen! It is my nature, period! I just have to keep telling myself that she is the professional and that she knows exactly what I need to win this eating disorder.
When I got out to my car, I called Mark and gave him my talk. He was shocked but promised me that he would stop doing it. He asked me what was he suppose to do if I needed him to bring dinner home. I told him that he was going to have to wait for my call and tell him what to do. I told him bringing dinner home was o.k if I wasn't going to cook but if I told him to go to the store and get cookies he was to refuse. I told him that it had to be things that I needed to cook with. So far this has been working well. There has only been a couple of times that he has forgotten and I have had to remind him. I didn't know how I would feel about this but I can say that I'm seeing why she is having to do this and I'm starting to feel some freedom and control, which is a good thing.
So...ya'll are up to date as to where I am with Kathy. It will be interesting on what will be new next week when I see here I guess for now I will start sharing you the challenges that I face everyday along with the feelings and emotions that it all brings.
So..keep checking back. I plan to be out here everyday!
No comments:
Post a Comment