A couple of days ago I woke up to the saddest news on my Facebook page. A friend of mine suddenly passed away the day before. Her husband announced it on both his page and hers. I just cried. While Annette and I were not close friends we were a part of each others life for a short time and I time that I treasured. She was one of the most beautiful people you would ever grace to meet. I feel lucky to have known her.
For those of you who had kept up with the old Going To Goal website I talked of her and how we met. We met shortly after hurricane Ike. She was building a new house across the highway from me and we met for lunch at Chick-Fil-A one day. When it became time for her and Charlie to move into their new home, she was struggling with how to pack up their house and get ready to move. I offered to help her. I know that the help I got when we moved was such a blessing to me and I wanted to pay it forward. I took lunch over there and we packed away while we got to know each other. We had the best time. I warned her about the stress of the move and I told her not to let happen to me happen to her and let the stress lose the importance of keeping up with my weight loss journey.
Anette at that time had lost over 150 lbs in just a little over a year. She was my hero. Oh how I wished I could have taken the weight off like she had She did share with me that at one time before Weight Watchers she weighed about 600 lbs and was in the hospital and they told Charlie to start planning her funeral because they didn't think she was going to make it. She shocked them all and after they took off 200 lbs of fluid she walked out of there. She was on oxygen and thus she started her real weight loss journey. When I met her she was down to 270 lbs. A miracle. I was struggling to get to my first 100 lbs lost. We encouraged each other and we visited each others Weight Watchers meetings. I was there when she got her 150 lb award and she was at my 100 lb award. When I was in the hospital so many times that year because of leg infections, her and Charlie came to see me, brought me gifts, drove my car home because I had driven myself to the hospital and actually Annette came for a visit and she brought me home from the hospital with a stop by Mike's Monday night meeting just to see what the scale said. I did it. I lost the 100 lbs. Sandy weighed me in and I started crying and she came around to me to hug me and that got Mike's and Annette's attention and they both were so happy for me. That night Annette cooked Mark and I a dinner and she brought other meals to me. I also must mention that before the first hospital stay I did help them with the day that they moved in and also on another day where Annette had some friends come over and help with her kitchen. We washed and washed and dried and dried things but we had the best of time.
Annette was a diabetic and she suffered with neuropathy of her feet and lower legs and also with psoriasis. With the congestive heart disease her battle was a tough one. The saddest thing for me at the time was that she was in denial about the congestive heart disease. She thought she had been cured of it but I think that once you have it you always have it but you can learn to live with it and I'm confident the weight loss helped her so much in that area. Annette loved her potato chips and sweets and I'm really not sure how much he really tried to control her diabetes.
By the summer we had stopped getting together so often but we talked some on the phone. I never really understood what happened. She did go on a vacation for her 30 high school reunion and she did have guests that summer It was a busy time for her and I gave her space. After that I don't know what happened to our friendship. I do know by keeping up with her on a shared thread on the Weight Watcher Boards she wrote about having a hard time tracking her food and that she just didn't want to track and she had gained a lot of weight on their trip. I did call her and tried to encourage her to just mark the points off of a journal and not necessarily track the food that she was eating. She didn't want to do that. Later on she asked for help and accountability to get back on track. A couple of years ago when I was visiting another leaders meeting her and Charlie came in to weigh but neither of them talked to me It was weird. I guess now I will never know what happened between us. I think you all know that I would have fixed it!
Later on the WW Boards I heard that she had to have surgery on her feet and she had a hard time with the healing. Then I heard she had to have a couple of toes amputated. I knew things were not going good for her but I just didn't know how to reach out. I did here more recently that she was back on oxygen and they were trying to get fluid off of her and her mobility had gotten her down to a walker and she was having physical therapy in her home. All while this was happening she lost her mother whom she loved so very much and cared for. After the passing of her mother Annette wasn't the same She disappeared off the WW Boards and would only post every great once in a while.
I can't even begin to tell you the sadness that I have felt these last few days. I can't even describe to you the terror that I have had that I could drop dead at anytime because of my own obesity. I feel like I have been frozen in time. Plus day before yesterday I came down with allergy and I have felt like crud the last 2 days.
I didn't get to see Anna yesterday because I felt so bad. I needed to see her. I needed to talk to her about the fear that Annette has left me with. I don't want to die but pushing 400 lbs is like a death sentence. My body is not designed to weigh this much. None of ours are. No wonder my knees and ankles kill me. No wonder I don''t want to getup and move. No wonder I feel weak just walking around my own house. I'm scared guys...really scared!!!! I needed Anna yesterday! Now for another week.
Kathy and I did have a phone appointment yesterday and she understood my fear but I understand what she was saying as well. I can't change over night but I can make everyday count by making good food choice by really listening to what my body needs and wants and to EAT! She is not happy with my not eating. Also I haven't been logging into my Recovery Record. We talked about what goals that I could set for this week. I need to cook some things up and need to get out of the boredom that I seem to be getting myself in. For the first time I think I heard Kathy say that while I was not on a diet I still needed to make good food choices and that I'm not. I've been having a free for all enjoying all the foods that dieting took away. For the first time I can see that I have to find a balance in all of this.
So...my dear Annette, thank you for my wake-up call. I'm reading all over the WW boards that your passing has woke many people up. I hate like crazy that you lost your life amongst the battle. I wished that I had reached out to you harder. I wish that you would have allowed it. But, my friend, you didn't and now you are gone, but you will live on in many of us as we journey to reach the ultimate goal of having a productive life and good health. Rest in peace sweet one, you will never know how much I love you or how much you meant to me. I will always see your bright happy smiley face!
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