I had every intention of getting out here and posting yesterday but it just didn't work out. I saw my therapist yesterday morning and we had a wonderful session. We had a pretty big break-through with our MDR treatment. Just for your information MDR is kind of a hypnosis that is used when a person has gone through a lot of trauma. When you have gone through a lot of trauma the right brain and the left brain disconnect and this treatment reconnects the right brain to the left brain. It's weird, I know but it really has worked on me! Anyway I told her about my self-talking and she did MDR on that topic. I wish I could remember the last question that she asked me but through the treatment my answers that came up was rebellion and stubborness. When she brought me out of the treatment and asked me what were the two things that I put in my box and I told her she just died laughing and was so excited and went on at how this treatment really works on me. We then talked about my rebellion with my eating disorder and I recalled a few times where my mother told me that I didn't need to eat something and how I left and went on a binge. Another time when I was back in my 20's I would call a friend to go out to dinner and if they refused it woud make me feel rejected and I would binge. We really hit on people trying to control what I was eating and I would just rebel. Well, my time ended too soon so I'm sure over the next few weeks we will really talk about my rebellion and stubborness.
After I ran some errands I came home and fell fast asleep. I never did my Wii which I am terribly dissappoited in myself but my Sweetie and I did finish up the house and we re ready for the maids today. Here is a pet peeve of mine. When I called the maids I told them that I needed a afternoon time. What is afternoon? After 12:00 right? Well they don't call you till the daay before they come and when did they schedule me? At 11:00!!! I work out with my trainer from 10:00 to 10:50 and I have to get home. I called them back because they left me a message and the have promised me if the girls get here before me that they will have them wait for me. They had better! I need to get i clean today because we are having friends over for dinner which I really don't want to do. It is my old Weight Watcher leader and his girlfriend. I'm really trying to break off this friendship but I committed to this meal back when I was going to WW and I feel because he keeps bringing it up, I need to get this over with and hopefully this friendship will die. I so hope it does. I'm sick of him if you know what I mean. At leat he ha no control over me anymore! That is huge!
So today I have to do the Wii, eat breakfat, dress, put a check out for the lawn guys and get to the gym to get home to the maids and then I can enjoy a clean house. I need to make out a grocery list and finish planning the menu. May I say again how much I don't want to do this!!!!
I did have a good eating day yesterday and got my calories up to 1500 and I feel better. You can't move 391 lbs on 1233 calories. You feel sick. I felt a lot better today. My sodium count was too high and the last two days my protein was too high. So...I need to get some help from my trainer to get everything more balanced out. I'm lacking in carbs. I'll see what he suggests today and I'll report back to ya'll tmorrow.
Until then...be good!
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