Rainy Lazy Day

Mark had to work today and I just piddled around the house.  I did find 2 recipes to try both down in the crock-pot which is a great win for me!  One is Slower Cooker Quinoa Chicken Chili and the other is Carnitas which we will eat in romaine lettuce cups with  some home-made pico de gallo and avocados.  The chicken chili called for a can of corn but since I can't have that yet, I will just leave it out.  I will let you know how it turns out and I will share the recipes if you would like to try it out.

Basically, I was a lazy bum all day.  I just sat and stitched and of course watched TV.  I also found a sampler that I started in 1997 that is two-thirds done.  I got it out because this white angel is getting boring! LOL!  I'll share pictures later this week.

Mark cooked us dinner tonight, grilled chicken, sweet potatoes with coconut butter and green beans.  It was yummy.  He is really crazy for a seasoning from Penzy's called "Sunny Paris" and I have to admit it is great on chicken.  We then watched the movie "Saving Mr. Banks" with Tom Hanks and that caused us to rent Mary Poppins.  Such a fun  movie!  Reminds me of growing up!

So being so lazy today caused me not to get many steps in.  I did eat well and tomorrow is weigh-in day!  I hope I lost.  This journey is amazing!  I wish any of you who are trying to lose would contact me and just hear what I'm doing.  I admit it was hard the first couple weeks but once your energy picks up and all the sluggish/nap-time feelings go away you just don't want to go back.  It is amazing what sugar, dairy, wheat and chemicals do to our bodies.  Clean eating is the way to go.  The body loves it!  Trust me.  Email me imahoot286@sbcglobal.net if you are ready to change your life!

Going to bed!  See ya tomorrow!!!!!

Icky Day!

Today was a icky day!  I had my Remicade and it was rainy and didn't get out of the 30's when I was gone.  For some reason the pre-meds really did a number on me and I couldn't keep my eyes open.

I was also very hungry today.  That is what happens when you eat something that is full of junk.  I didn't say anything but Mark and I had some chips and queso last night with dinner.  The first bite I took was very salty, had a wang to it and just wasn't what I remembered queso tasting like.  Of course I kept eating it thinking that it would start tasting better but it did not!  Lesson learned.  Bad foods don't really taste that good.  Our taste buds are skewed.  Eating whole foods for the last 80 days really do take hold and trust me, I will not do that again.  Sweet Potato Tortilla Chips from Sprouts and salsa are fabulous and healthy.

So this morning I got up and weighed and I was up 5 lbs.  Hum...I wonder what could have caused that?  Could it be the salt and the chemicals in that 1/2 cup queso that I consumed last night.  I truly believe it was.  Reminds me of my old life of bad foods and my cocktail of diuretics!  Boy I don't want to go there again.  I haven't told Michael what I have done but I will.  I want to see what it takes to get my body straightened back out.  I need to see and learn.

Tonight we watched the movie Gravity.  It was pretty good but I hated the ending.  I guess it leaves it for a sequel.  We also got Saving Mr. Banks and we are planning to watch that tomorrow night.  Tomorrow Mark works and I am going to find 3 new recipes to try and plan to make one for dinner tomorrow night.  I need to schedule some days at Downsize, finish taking down the tree and packing everything up for next year.  I need to get some lunches made this weekend.  I'm getting tired of chasing myself everyday for lunches.  Janet gave me a recipe for lettuce wraps and I think I'll whip those up along with a soup.

So a busy day tomorrow.  I guess I better hit the hay so I can hit the ground running.  Wish me luck!

Crazy Computer

Well my Surface Pro 3 is possessed.  Is has a mind of its own!   It thinks that someone is touching the screen when it's not being touched.  It scrolls itself,  opens up Apps, clicks on ads on Facebook and divides the mouse into 2 pointers.  Of course Best Buy is out of them from Christmas!  I have to wait and call twice a week until they come in.  So, here I am swiping myself to death on my Samsung 5 phone.  At least I'm out here.

Today was a rainy cold day and that made me lazy.  I did nothing but drink hot tea and try and stay warm.   I did get out this evening to take the computer in and we did go to Cheddar ' s for dinner.  They really have a great sirloin for $9.99.  I got steamed broccoli and black beans to go with it.  It took forever.  When our waiter brought the food to us he said they had run out and had to go get some more.  There is a grocery store close by and we envisioned them jumping in their car and running to buy some sirloin.  LOL!

I didn't get my 5000 steps in and I'm telling you I'm a bit irritated at Michael and Janet for thinking that this will be no big deal.  Trust me I have the energy to get it done but my knees and right foot just will not tolerate it.  Janet suggested that I join the Y to walk the pool.  I can't afford the gym and the Y. I just can't.   Sometimes I think Janet doesn't live in the real world.

Don't think for a minute that I don't still struggle cause I do.   Just tonight I wanted chips and queso and I had to tell myself NO!  It is still a battle.  The difference is I feel so much better not eating sugar,  dairy and wheat.  Everything is tons better.  

I am getting a little bored with what I'm eating. I need to find some new recipes to try.  Maybe I will work on it tomorrow.

Did I Ruin Myself???

I have been watching over the last few days and it seems that no one is ready this blog anymore.  I have noticed a couple of people who check every other day but and that I'm grateful but I'm wondering today if I should even continue.  I know that it wasn't a good thing not posting very often but I was going through so much this last year.  I just couldn't find consistent creative juices to write every day.  For that I'm sorry.  What was once excited getting out here and sharing the journey went through a bad spell and now that I'm back and feeling better than ever before I feel like I've lost my readers.  I'm sad but know it is my own fault.

I know that I should just write for myself and Michael has encouraged me to write about this because I will be able to record the changes in my life.  He says that is what people crave.  Well I guess I can keep writing for me and record what I feel and maybe I will find readers once again and maybe my faithful and true will come back and read.

Today all I did was cook.  I roasted some sweet potatoes with some red and orange peppers and some onions.  It is one of my new favorite foods but I forgot them in the oven and they burned.  I haven't done that in a long time.  I literally laughed at myself and thought that maybe it is time to go to cooking school.  Tonight I  made our favorite Beef Cabbage Soup and it was yummy on a cold night.  Here is the recipe.  I hope that you will try it out!

Beef Cabbage Soup

1 lb lean ground beef 

1/2 medium onion, chopped 
1/2 large bell pepper, finely chopped 
1 can (15 oz) red kidney beans 
1 can (10.75 oz) beef consomme 
1 can (14 oz) stewed tomatoes 
2 cans (8 oz each) tomato sauce 
2 cups water 
1/2 head cabbage, coarsely chopped  (I use a whole bag of Coleslaw mix without the carrots)
1 tsp salt 
1 tsp pepper 
1 Tbsp Worcestershire sauce 

Brown ground beef with onion; drain; transfer to large pot & add rest. Cook until cabbage is tender.

It is yummy and it freezes well.  I always make a double batch.

I did get to talk to Michael this afternoon and he wants me to get my walking up to 5000 steps since right now the Dr. doesn't want me exercising.  I can resume the exercise once my oxygen levels stay in the mid 90's.  Hopefully that will not take too long.  Tonight we are expecting a hard freeze and the weather dude says that we will remain below freezing for at least 8 hours.  I can tell you that I'm not going out to walk with pneumonia!  Tomorrow night rain is going to move in and another front is expected and this weekend Houston is not going to get out of the 30's.  Weird weather.  I'll have to try and figure out something.

Tomorrow sounds like a good day to stay in and stay warm and I would like to work on my cross stitch angel that I am making for my friend Penny.  I also would like to start a little project for my best friend Karen.  I have never stitched her anything.  I need to pick something out of my stash.  I may see about digging around in that and taking a peek.  I also need to finish taking down the tree and get my Christmas linens washed and put up till next year.  So tomorrow looks like a full day.

Believe it or not I am having problems with this Surface Pro 3 and tonight I might have to take it in to the local Geek Squad.  It is having a mind of it's own.  It is either a faulty mouse because the Geek Squad on the phone couldn't get the mouse to connect to the Bluetooth and then talking with the last Tech who worked on it said it could be a faulty keyboard or a faulty touch screen in which case they will have to place the whole computer.  Fun.  Why am I plagued with computer problems.  Never fear I still have my old trusty stand-by so I will continue to blog.

I want to spend some time finding some new recipes to try.  With the limited choices in food I know that there has to be some new things to try.  I'm thinking about giving Kale another try.  Don't ask me why, I usually do care for the stuff but for some reason it is appealing to me.  Janet has warned me that in cleaning up my diet I would start having tastes for things I never thought I would like.  So we'll see.

Well it is late and I'm going to hit the sack.  I have lots of things that I want to do tomorrow.

Praying someone will check in....

Could This Be The Beginning Of The End?

Today I saw Anna and we had a good visit.  That is what our sessions have been like for the last several months.  Just going and chatting with a friend.  Telling her what is going on in my life and really not doing any work.  I do most of the talking and at the end she tells me how well I'm doing, how proud she is of me and tells me that I have come a long way.  You know what?  I have.

It is hard to believe that 4 years ago I was a very troubled woman with deep scars and a troubled view of my family.  Low self-esteem drove me to eat uncontrollably and binge a lot.  What I have found over the last 4 years is I can't control my family and what they do.  I am a good person, I am fun to be with, I care deeply about everything, but the biggest thing is I AM O.K.

I think that I told you all that I decided to stop my anti-depressants back in April after the hospital stay.  I was at a pretty low after being told that "the Volkswagen is going to pull the Mac truck must longer!"  When that stupid cardiologist would do anything but tell me that I was going to die.  I decided then if I am going to die I'm not going to take happy pills.  You know it was the best decision of my life.  I've been off of them now for nearly 9 months.  Depressed?  No.  I didn't even tell Anna that I stopped them till September and she was shocked and she didn't think that it was a good idea.  She has since changed her mind and agrees that I don't need them anymore.  I tried to convince Mark Lajsek that I wanted off and he would not help me get off.  I tried and tried each time I went to see him convince him to let me wean off and he disagreed.  I was off them but I didn't know how to stop coming to see him.  The last time I saw him he really peeved me off by telling me that we had just made changes to what I was taking and he thought we should stay where we were at.  Remind you I was not taking them for the last 6 months!  It really showed me that does a Psychiatrist really know if you need these drugs.  I think we as individual knows and I'm not going to discount that there are people who really need them and are not on them.  I have a neighbor that is so Bi-polar it isn't funny.  I see her mood swing 3-4 times in a single conversation.  Her family sees it and there is no convincing her that she needs them.  In those cases I do think Dr.'s know.  For ordinary depression I thing we as individuals know if we need them.  There was a time I really needed them and I am grateful that I had them.  I had an appointment scheduled to see Mark again early Dec. and I called and just cancelled the appointment and told them that I would not be coming back.

I went through the holidays with typical issues with my family.  In fact this year some things happened that 4 years ago they might have sent me over the edge.  My brother is a big ass.  Sorry to say that but it just isn't me who thinks that.  His kids feel the same way and the sad thing is they would tell you that they feel like he has never been there for them.  The problem?  My parents raised him that way.  They raised him like a Prince and he grew into a King and finally my parents can see that he is a piece of work but they know they can't change him.  Case in point...I asked my parents to come up for Christmas at Thanksgiving.  They would not give me an answer.  But let my brother call and they can come up and I get the song and dance that they feel like that they have to choose between us and they hate we don't get along, blah, blah, blah.  I told my parents that I never wanted them to feel like they have to choose.  If they wanted to accept my brother's invitation they I was fine with it and for the first time in my life I was o.k. with it.  What made me so sad was that my brother did not even call to invite us.  That hurt but that's him.  He sent me a text Christmas Eve, I'm sure after my Dad said something about us not being there, saying that we didn't need a invitation to come to their house and he was sorry that we felt that way.  Now really.  This is a brother who lives less than 30 minutes from me that I never talk to and we never know what is going on in each other's lives except through our parents.  I suppose to just show up Christmas Eve?  How do I know that they didn't go to their place at Lakeway?  Their time-share in Hawaii?  I'm suppose to know that they are to be home.  Anyway, I fired off a reply telling him that I don't go anywhere I'm not invited and how was I to know what they are doing for the holidays.  I told him that I guess my parents needed a formal invite but I didn't wasn't flying with me.  I told him to grow up and be a brother and then wished him a Merry Christmas.  Story done.

Anna was shocked to see that I was not grieved about it.  If it had happened in the past I would have been devastated.   I told Anna that next year Mark and I were going to plan our own holoidays, let everyone know what we were doing and that they were invited to come and that is that.  I want to spend the next holidays on a special trip with just Mark and I or have people over who have no one to celebrate the day with.  We have done it in the past and had such a good time.  Istn't that what the holidays are about?  Being with each other?

So at the close of my session with Anna today she asked me if I wanted to book ahead.  I already have an appointment in 2 weeks and I told her that I would keep that.  I told her that I felt like I was ready to just see her once a month.  I told her that while I knew I was o.k. and that life was sweet and I loved everything going on in my life I didn't want to let her go.  I told her "Damn it Anna, you have become a friend!  I want you to be a part of this journey.  I want to have access to you if for any reason I need help along with the way with the changes that my body is going to go through."  She told me that we were friends and that she was always going to be there and she wanted to be a part of the journey.  She told me that she is only a text or a call away and reminded me that we have upcoming shopping dates.  That made me smile because 2-3 years ago I told her that when I reached my goal that I wanted her to help me buy my new wardrobe.  I love her style.  She told me she would love to do that.  I gave her a Pandora charm that has a dress on a hanger for her bracelet.  It was my promise to her that I was going to cash that promise in some day.  Our first shopping date?  When I lose 60 more lbs and I'm going to Salt Lake City to meet Michael and Janet.  That trip I want to look my best and I want Anna to help me buy and accessorize.

She ended telling me again how proud she was of me, making my own decisions, believing in them and trusting myself.  She told me that I was o.k.  I love that woman!  Beautiful inside and out.  She was the greatest thing that came out of the worse friendship I ever had.  Mike.

I actually drove away from her office with a peace that surpasses all understanding and a big smile on my face.  I truly one day Anna and I will part and I will be o.k.

I'm ready.

Crazy Day!

Today I had a Dr.'s appointment and all I can say is "What a day!"

Our gate has been broken and I had a company come out to fix it, but the guy who came out needed to call Tech Support and they were closed till the first of the year.  So today was the day they chose to come back out and of course I was gone.  We thought we were going to have to buy a new unit for the gate to the tune of $2,000.  Well, the problem was a loose battery connection and while I was thrilled at the news I wasn't happy when I got home and the gate wouldn't open!  My dear sweet husband failed to tell me when he tried to re-set the gate he might have erased the codes to our clickers!  Long story short they rushed back to the house and reprogrammed my clicker and I had access to my house!

I had also stopped at Chick-Fil-A and picked up a side salad without cheese and a 12 piece grilled nuggets.  I was going to make a delicious salad for lunch adding a whole avocado.  I had my mouth set on it.  I was still irritated about the delay to get into the house (at least an hour) and I lost it when I opened the bag to find out they missed my order up and gave me fried nuggets!  I was pissed, not feeling the greatest and starving.  It was 3:00!  I just ate them.  Not the right choice but that is what I did.  I paid for it too!  I felt like crap!  My stomached rumbled and my head hurt, my energy level hit skid row.  You don't eat clean (real clean) for 10 weeks and then expect to feel good when you "dirty" your system up.  I will probably pay for it for a few days.  It wasn't worth it!

Here is the difference in working with Michael Banks over the stupid WW Mike.  When I missed up on WW, Mike would yell at me and made sure I felt like crap for doing it and he would have had all kinds of "Why?" questions for me.  I texted Michael and told him what I did and I got no response.  Do I think he is mad at me?  My first reaction was yes because that is what I'm geared to.  Once I thought about it I know he isn't mad at me.  But I know he expects me to move on.  He warned me in the beginning that I would blow his program.  He told me it was inevitable.  He told me when I did to drink a warm glass of lemon water as it would help my body rid itself of the bad stuff.  He expects me to forget it and move on.  That is what I've done.  Tonight I had a good healthy clean meal of grilled salmon, broccoli and cauliflower along with a sweet potato with coconut butter.  YUM!  My favorite meal!!!!

Tomorrow I will keep moving forward.

Woo Hoo!

Weigh-in day!  I lost 6.2 lbs!  70.7 since April and 40.7 since I started working with Michael Oct. 20th!  My average with Michael is 4 lbs a week!  Better than WW!!!!  I'm loving it!

Not feeling the greatest.  Just watched some movies, slept and cross-stitched.

Praying for a better tomorrow and better week!

I'm sorry this is so short!  That means tomorrow must be going to be a long one.  Not to chatty today.  I want to go to bed.

Yea me today!