I'm so far behind but I do know all that I need to share. Just know that the days that I don't write about were days that emotionally I was drained yet I did not binge and I controlled my eating. I may have had to sit on my hands and wear myself out because I wanted to binge, I simply did not. So now let's go back to Saturday over a week ago and let me share about the big things that happened.
Last Saturday was a normal day with the exception that Mark's dealership moved. He had to go up to the office to make sure some cars delivered and to find out what was the game plan for meeting on Sunday to get settled in the new Body Shop. He wasn't suppose to be long and then the plan was to go out and have pizza since Kathy had mentioned that she was waiting for us to go out and have pizza! LOL! It got to be around 1:00 the normal time I eat lunch and I hadn't heard from him. I decided to "get a few chips" and grabbed the bag and I really thought I could eat a few out of the bag to tie me over for pizza. I had every intention to record what I was doing on my Recovery Record App. As soon as I sat down Marked called and he told me that he thought he would be heading this way in about 30-40 minutes. I was munching on my chips and got frustrated because this was suppose to be quick stop by the office. While we were talking I was cramming potato chips in my mouth not realizing what I was doing. Totally forgot about "the few" that I was going to eat. This was the first time that I realized what mindless eating is all about. By the time we got off the phone the chip bag was crumbs. Let me say this though, the bag was a small bag. It was "Zapp's" and if you get them in your area then you know hat I'm talking about. It was only about 1/4 full when I started. I ended up telling Mark tat we would have to put off eating pizza because I was hungry and I was going to go ahead a eat. I decided that even though I had eaten more than a handful of chips i would make my sandwich and call it a meal. I did record every bit of it and recorded my feelings. I for the first time did not beat myself up for it. I call this progress.
Mark eventually got home from the office and just normal things happened during the afternoon and then it was getting time for dinner and I really did need to go to the store so I suggested that we go ahead and go and have pizza. We talked about it and I told him that we needed to get a side salad and we had to limit ourselves to 1 medium pizza. Mark agreed with me so off we went. We got to our favorite pizza place and ordered our salad, drinks and pizza and sat down. We just talked and realized that our salad was coming so Mark went and checked on it. They brought them to us and we were enjoying them and just before we were finished our pizza came. I love hot fresh pizza. I stopped eating my last few bites of salad and I got my piece of pizza and fixed it like I love it with garlic powder, crushed red pepper and Parmesan cheese and I bit into it and ah, it was so good. After that first piece I finished my salad and then I got my 2nd piece and fixed it and when I bit into it I noticed that it was not as hot and really just pretty warm. I thought as I was eating that piece that it wasn't tasting as good as that first hot piece did and I told myself that the 3rd piece was going to be lukewarm at best. I then asked myself. Are you really hungry for that third piece? And surprisingly my mind went "No, not really." "I'm really not hungry anymore, I feel comfortable." I also noticed that I felt like I do in between my meals. I took my napkin out of my lap and wiped my hands and face and told Mark "You are not going to believe this but I'm done I don't want anymore." He cut me a look as he had started chowing down on his third piece. I told him my thought process and I told him that I was just finished. He stopped and put his third piece that he had taken a couple of bites out of and put it back on his plate and told me "You know, you're right, I think that I am done too!" I was shocked, yet I was so happy because we had never ever just eaten a half of a medium pizza and stopped. Mark went and got a box to take home the left overs and we left and went to the store on the way home. Later we were able to enjoy our bedtime snack. I was on cloud nine for seeing that I was actually satisfied with two pieces of pizza and a side salad.
Sunday started as a normal day as well, but Mark had to go up to the office and spend some time putting his desk together so that he would be ready for work the next day. What he thought would be just a couple of hours ended up being more like 6. I ended up eating lunch by myself and that was o.k. but I was concerned about how long it was taking him. It shouldn't take that long to unpack a couple of boxes and set up a empty desk. I called him to check on him and he just told me that it was taking more time that he thought but that he would tell me more about it when he got home.
He finally made it home, starving and found his wife dozed off in her chair, so he made him something to eat and when he sat down next to me I woke up. He told me that the owner's wife was making it difficult to get settled. She would walk by and remind him that he couldn't have his stack of In/Out boxes and she didn't like where his computer was, that she wanted it on the "L return". Mind you Mark is 6'4" and has such huge hands that he can't type like a normal person on a typewriter. He types with two fingers and he is pretty fast a it I might say. But you know how the side part of a desk is usually lower than the top of the desk he needed his computer to be higher and not lower but he moved it as he didn't want to make a scene. He wasn't finished with his desk when he left but he was set up enough to be able to work the next day and finish up getting the rest of his stuff put away. He left the stack of In/Out boxes and a few other things but he felt like his desk was neat and ready to go. He was excited about having his own space and not having to share a open area with 3 other guys. He really did like the new shop. We finished our day with no unusual things happening.
I'm ending this post here. I will be back in a little bit to continue to catch you up so keep checking back. My goal is to be caught back up today Monday, February 4th. I promise there is lot more to tell...it gets better!!!
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