What can I say...same thing...I'm still sick and no I didn't go to a clinic today. I laid around again and I had problems with my eating starting in the afternoon.
Typical morning of getting up and having coffee, watching TV and having breakfast Mark actually made us egg sandwiches this morning and they really hit the spot. Mark really had a bad night so we didn't eat breakfast till after 10! Not good. I was way past hungry.
I wanted to make that chicken pot pie soup for supper and we had a correction of our Income Taxes that had to be mailed so Mark decided that he would go run errands and he would go and get what we needed right now from the grocery store. We sat down and discussed our list and away he went I messed around with my phone trying to learn how to assign ring tones to it. If any of you own the Samsung Galaxy S3 and you know how to do this, please write me!
He made a couple of calls from the store asking me questions and one time that he did, I asked him to bring home Sonic for lunch. I was craving and had been craving a foot-long cheese coney and some onion rings, he said that he would stop It was already 2 in the afternoon. When he got home I had fallen asleep and he woke me up with my request but he didn't get anything. It made me feel horrible. The crazy thing is that it really made me feel guilty that I was eating and he was not. He put up all the groceries and went outside and started taking Christmas decorations down. After I ate I de-boned a rotisserie chicken for the soup that I was going to make. I got that all cleaned up and then I went and sat down because I just wasn't feeling the greatest I have lost my voice again. Also I was coughing up all kinds of stuff so I didn't do the nebulizer today.
We both dozed off sometime after 4 and woke up when the cats were screaming to be fed. Mark asked me around 6 if I was still going to make the soup and I really didn't feel up to it. I don't know what it is with this stuff but you feel worse at night than you do during the day. We talked and watched TV and both of us were excited that The Biggest Loser was starting up again tonight. I told Mark to pick what he wanted for dinner because he hadn't eaten lunch and he tried to get me to pick. He finally said that Pappa John's had a $10 deal going on so I got on-line and checked it out. It turned out that they had a deal of two medium pizza's for $16 and that deal suited Mark better. I knew I should have spoke up because I knew that was too much pizza. I didn't and I told myself that I could have a few pieces and I could save the rest for lunches this week to enjoy.
When the pizza was delivered, they sent garlic butter with it. Mark fixed our plates and brought me a cup of the garlic butter. I smothered my 4 pieces with it and I enjoyed it so much. I even dipped the ends of my crust in it. Was I ready to stop? No. Did I stop and ask Kathy's questions? What questions? It was like all of a sudden I had tunnel vision and the only thing matter was me eating that pizza and getting the other half and enjoying it like I did the first half! How sick is that? I guess that is why they call this a disease. It is! An awful one! Why does food have to have so much control over us? I don't know but I promise I'm going to figure this out!
We watched and enjoyed The Biggest Loser. I think that this will be a good season. I like their new idea and I won't say more just in case you didn't get to see it. I did log my awful meal and I did write about how it made me feel. I wrote that I lost control and that I didn't think things through. In fact I wrote that I chose to eat the other half because I was enjoying the butter so much. I wrote that I felt bad that I didn't ask myself the questions that Kathy is teaching me. When I hit "submit" on that meal I chose to let it go. It is one meal, this is one day and I need to let it go and stop right now beating myself up over it. It will never change what I did. I do know this for a fact, that tomorrow is a new day and I have 3 meals and 2 snacks to make good healthy choices and that is what I am going to do. I'm at least learning that!
I close with this...
Be Confident. Too many days are wasted comparing ourselves to others and wishing to be something we aren't. Everybody has their own strength and weaknesses, and it is only when you accept everything you are -- and aren't -- that you will truly succeed.
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